I've just received another "Nigerian" email.....I think you all know the one. Here's my prepared response, feel free to: adapt, cut and paste as you require.... Dear Friend I read your Email with interest and would gladly help with your predicament if I could, however I and my partners, Charles Ash and Alan Knotty, are currently embroiled in a long running legal battle with your government over mineral rights, mineral rights which were legally acquired by my grandfather Colin Treacle, from the then colonial government. I hope you will appreciate that any payments made to a Bongo Bongo citizen by myself might currently be construed as currying favour, or as a direct bribery attempt by the Bongobongonese courts and the EU watchdogs. There is however a way in which you might be able to help me whilst at the same time utilising your new found wealth. The legality of the mineral concession is questioned by your government as land ownership is restricted to Bongobongonese nationals. Now if I could prove to your courts and government that my company, Knotty-Ash-Treacle-Mines was under partial Bongo Bongo national ownership they would have no case to refuse us access to the resources. Thats why I am writing to offer you the opportunity to buy shares in our company, which is a traditional family concern and is not listed on the stock exchange. We still however issue shares, currently with a face value of £500.00, drastically undervalued given the assets currently locked under Bongo Bongos pungent soil. If you were to purchase just one share, we have a case, however 15,000 shares are currently available as my partner and the companys registrar, Mr Ash, is approaching retirement. Share ownership also attracts, beside the usual annual dividend, a once in a lifetime educational dividend! If you are interested in my proposal then please send a cheque, made payable to C.ASH at the address below .