Thanks for phoning India

Discussion in 'Royal Signals' started by boney_m, Sep 12, 2005.

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  1. BT Broadband help "Hello, my name is unpronounceable how can i help you today?"
    Me "I lost the configuration from my broadband router, can you tell me the IP addresses of BT's DNS servers?"
    BT "Are you getting any error messages when you try and use the internet?"
    Me "Yes, i havent got the IP's of the DNS servers, its telling me nothing can be found"
    BT "Could you remove the USB plug from your broadband modem, and plug it back in again please"
    Me "All i need is the IP's of the DNS servers, then i'll be fine mate"
    BT "We find that this often solves the error, could you remove the USB plug for your modem please"
    Me "No, i havent got a USB modem, i've got a router. What i havent got is the IP's of the DNS servers. If you give me them i'll get off your case"
    BT "When you remove and replace the plug from your USB modem, do you get any error messages?"
    Me "Is the only English you speak written in a script in front of you?"
    BT "Do you have a Firewall?"
    Me "For all that is holy, please tell me the IP's of your DNS servers"
    BT "Do you have a DNS problem?"
    Me "Christ on a bike, yes, i need the IP's of your DNS servers please"
    BT "I cannot give you that information at present as our system is down. Please ring back later"
    Me "Are you winding me up?"
    BT "No Sir, our link to the system is down"
    Me - Hangs up totally devoid of a will to live.

    Anyone reading from the Pakistani government, please rekindle any differences you may have, and drop some sunshine on India, especially if it is an airburst above any call center responsible for BT Yahoo Broadband :twisted:

    Rant over,

  2. I had a similar one a couple of weeks ago trying to report a possible card cloner on a cash machine; got straight through to Islamabad, repeated the address, location and type of device over a dozen times just to be told; "I don't understand what you are saying!" So I apologized for speaking English and hung up - Knuts!

  3. W*g call centers p1ss me off
    I'm forever getting calls from American life offering a free 1 month life cover, then wanting my bank account details. As if im going to give that to some muppet half way around the world.
    Dell from un-understandable Irishman to even more un-understandable Indian man/woman.
    Can't wait for the local police to set up call centers in India
  4. Guys
    if its any help the bank that I (unenthusiastically) work for is possibly (read probably) about to close the call centre in Pune, India because ..... any guesses? ...... No bugger can understand what they are saying and they cant understand any accent what so ever.
    Management do surveys every month which prove customers are F'ed off with the poor service/communication problems but the indian sites are kept on since they only cost 1/10 what UK call centres cost but are 50-70% as effective.

    ps: one of my mates did the BT outsourcing to India ... I'll send him your regards.
  5. Chances are you may actually have been calling a call centre in Derby. I once worked for BT Business BB and know that BTYahoo! ISP has a lot of its residential Customer Care functions based there, and they employ a large amount of Asian staff, due to the make up of the local population.

    2 Asian muslim guys, who did the suicide bomber bit in Israel a couple of years back, once worked there.

    Coincidence is a funny thing isn't it?
    8O 8O :lol: :lol:
  6. It's no better when you work for a large telephone company, we've out-sourced our IT support to HP, guess where thier call centre is? Oh yeh, Dheli.

    Took 12 calls and a formal complaint to HP before I got an honest answer and an apology for keeping me off the intranet for 4 days!

    I'm told by our people that we are not happy with the Indian call centres but they are cheap!

    One tip though, if you know your DW (jsp101) etc write in a similar matter, "I look forward to your assistance in this matter" etc. I was given this advice and bloody hell, got a reply back in record time, correct info and everything, they still respect the old civil service values in parts of India and being polite and curteous works wonders when using email.
  7. Whilst i will bet good coin that this bloke was from India, i'm willing to accept that he was based in Derby or Leeds or Wales or anywhere. I'm not bothered by who answers the phone (we have a support company at work based in South Africa, your always guaranteed a decent chat about the rugby/cricket/football whilst you wait for their 1980's IT system to give them an answer).

    My point is about Technical support. Thats how the lines are advertised. The person who answers the phone has absolutely no tech knowledge at all, and is reading stuff off a script. If you only want a simple answer, you have to go through pages and pages of script on their screen to get your answer - or not if their link back to the UK is down. Tech support is a bunch of arrse, it takes and gives nothing back while you pay local rate for the privilage. If the bloke has the ability to thread a sentence together in english, its becoming a bonus.

  8. Ripper - it's really difficult to concentrate on your text, due to those nifty little animations. Damn yer eyes...I must go and cleanse the streets.
  9. Cardinal,


    While your about clensing the streets, go to india and do away with everyone working for BT Yahoo Broadband.
  10. Mr Happy

    Mr Happy LE Moderator

    A friend and I wrote this for the WSJ last year, having been a victim of an outsourcing and offshoring project.
    Mr H

  11. I hate the calls you get from indian call centres. One a few months ago went along these lines

    Indian chap. "Hello Can I speak to Mr. Lairdx please"
    me "Speaking."
    "Hello Sir my name is Brian and I am calling.."
    "Brian you say?"
    "Yes my name is brian and I am wanting to tell you about a fantastic..."
    "Brian? That's an unusual name in India isn't it? You are calling from india aren't you?"
    "Yes sir I am. As I was saying My name is..."
    "I don't believe you."
    "I'm sorry sir?"
    "I don't believe your name is Brian. I think that is just something you are told to say. What is your real name?"
    "Actually my real name is Rhamajeet Muckjaree (spelling?) but I am calling to tell you...."
    "Whoa hold on a minute. Do you really think I am going to enter into any form of business transaction with a bloke who has been on the phone for a minute and has already lied to me?"

    Cnuts. telly Two I think the company was.
  12. BT's call centre is a real pain. The language barrier is terrible and I get very frustrated dealing with people who can't understand a word I say! However my ISP also has call centre support in India and they are really brilliant. English is obviously their first language and every operator is bright as well as unfailingly polite!
    Obviously varying standards across the service.....or is BT just paying for cheapo labour....mmmm... :idea:
  13. Mr Happy

    Mr Happy LE Moderator

    In Brian's defence its very common for johnny foreigners to take anglo names when dealing with us. In Seoul I worked with Ja Ryung Koo, Ja Eun Yang, Ji In Jeong and Ju Hyun Doh, when dealing with me in meetings (english spoken) they were JR, Jane, Jean and June (check first two parts of the names above) to me and each other.

    Personally I disliked it and tried to get them to use their own names, unfortunately, they then started that nasty habit of referring to each other as (in Korean) as Teacher/master, girl who operates the computer, girl who answers the phone and girl who gets the coffee. As a consequence we went back to names...

    In India, where I worked for a substantial part of 2003 the guys would use their Indian names more often but it was common enough for them to again adopt an international name (insert Man U or cricketers names (Botham?) here).

    Think about all those Bosnians you met, mikail was Michael who ran the bar outside of camp etc...

    Attached Files:

  14. Bloody indians staying over there and stealing our jobs :twisted:

    BT are in the process of getting rid of the indian call centre due to customer demand so make sure complain and speed the process along
  15. There is also the small forgotten UK Data Protection Act, no UK company can garantee security of said documents in another country, and does the law extend to that country too?
    Im in the IT business, and see many jobs for UK taught asians with 'mid european/atlantic' accents wanted for call centres in india, to give the intial impression you are speaking to Joe Snooks in Manchester and not Bombay, if its not a probelm, why does the industry want these people to talk that way?

    On a funny point, my Mrs works in a insurance call centres here in the UK (boo..hissss) anyway, she tells me some guys phone up thinking shes in Bombay, asking how the weather is, hows eastenders these days, can they fly across to visit the call centre, they go all quiet when she says she hates enders and doesnt watch it, its raining there too and if they wish to fly, why not drive down instead..Doh