Testicular Cancer - Bad News for Guardsmen

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by JoeCivvie, Oct 27, 2010.

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  1. Arsse - I'm 6'6" and my Father died of cancer...
     
  2. Bollocks, so if it's a 13% increase in risk for every 2 inches above the average of 5'9" that puts me on 71.5% :sad:

    Oh hang on.........

    Phew, I'm safe. ^_~
     
  3. I know a guy who lost both bollocks to the Big C at 23 years old. Check your nuts regular! He was lucky, if he'd left it, he'd be worm food now
     
  4. most of the welsh are safe, sodding inbred dwarves
    but upstanding caer efroggian halfbreeds like miissen have an extra 39% chance
    arrse!
     
  5. Do they mention how the lumps were discovered? I'm sure there's ooodles of research out there about women going for tall blokes, pro basketball players, rowers blah blah blah so MAYBE, just maybe......they get more sex/women fiddling with their danglies/pod-sucking etc so the lumps are more likely to be discovered! I have a severe mistrust of statistics!
     
  6. From the Bupa website:

    Symptoms of testicular cancer

    The most common symptom of testicular cancer is swelling or a hard, pea-sized lump on one testicle. Other symptoms include:

    a pulling sensation or feeling of unusual heaviness in the scrotum
    a dull ache in the groin or lower abdomen
    pain or discomfort (which may come and go) in the testicle or scrotum
    collection of fluid in the scrotum (called a hydrocele)
    feeling unwell and tired
    Very rarely, if the cancer is at a later stage, symptoms can include breast tenderness, back pain, shortness of breath and coughing up blood.

    These symptoms don't always mean you have testicular cancer, but see your doctor if you're concerned.
     
  7. Please note this is a 13% increase in the ~0.5% basal risk level so your risk goes up to 0.85% or 1 in 120 [roughly].
     
  8. Odds are stacked against Peter Crouch then
     
  9. No, love. I'm not having a Sherman, I'm carrying out a risk assessment.

    Honest.
     
  10. Guardsmen should be ok then. I spent half my time in Chelsea barracks lying on my pit fiddling with my nuts as well as seeing how many 20p coins I could fit in my foreskin.
     
  11. I'm a nurse I can check :eek:) hands might be cold though
     
  12. I can believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    long live right flank
     
  13. Well i'm not checking my testicles.......................................................it's just too far to go back to Afghanistan!
     
  14. The last time I asked a nurse to check mine, she said "Nothing wrong with those dear, they're perfect." I said "I know, I just wanted a second opinion."
     
  15. I know quite a few big right flankers, funnily enough a few of them were proper right flankers. ;-)