----A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Tesco with her
two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the

The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Tesco, nice children
you've got there. Are they twins?"

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course they
bloody aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why the
hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really think they look alike,
you dickhead?"

"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone
would shag you twice!

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