Terrorism Alert in Plymouth:

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Yorkshire_Warrior, May 5, 2007.

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  1. Terrorism Alert in Plymouth:

    AP and BBC reported that the HQ Royal Navy and Royal Marines announced yesterday that
    it has raised its Bikini alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two
    higher levels are "surrender" and "collaborate."

    The raise was precipitated by the recent fire, which destroyed one of
    the Royal navies white flag factories, completely disabling the marines.
    It cost the BBC several thousand pounds to gain this information, as they were told, “it’s the going rate”

    “Only 00.01 percent need use their wpns”
  2. Twat.
  3. hope it didn't take you too long to re write the original......
  4. Wasn't this written about the French originally? Shurely Shome Mishtake.
  5. Following the events in London recently the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'.

    The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'.

    The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing their military.

    Updates from around Europe:

    The Italians have increased their alert level from "shouting excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

    The Germans have also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "full dress-uniform and marching songs". They have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

    Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find somewhere ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "take on the world" and "ask the British for help".

    Finally here in UK we've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Our higher levels are "chin-up" and "remain cheerful"

    I think we should be told...
  6. physioterrorist!!!!
  7. Yorkshire_Warrior, Commando Brigade have now returned from a gruelling tour of the 'Stan, where they performed heroically and took a number of casualties.

    Maybe you would like to repeat the joke down Union Street on a Saturday night. I am sure that Royal will howl with laughter!
  8. Y_W,

    You're a twat because:

    a) It's been done before.
    b) Fleet HQ is in Portsmouth you fcukwit.
    c) You're from Hull

    Now go run along and chuck stones at the moon in Hull like the rest of the natives. :roll:
  9. Even with all the Royals have endured in the Stan, I'm sure a fair few of them, if not all of them, have returned back home with their sense of humours intact.

    If you don't like what's said in the NAAFI, raise your white flag and run away!

  10. CC_TA, you obviously haven't served alongside Royal - they don't like Perce and they don't like being criticised, particularly when their courage and professionalism is besmirched. The fact that a small number of Marines did not perform to the required standard should not be cause to tar the rest of the brigade with the same brush.

    I am all for what is said in the NAAFI - when it is funny and when it is original, as several other posts have pointed out.
  11. Their sense of humour departed with yesterday’s loss at Twickers

    The greatest trait of H M’s finest in all 3 services, I even include our civvies in blue (crab fat), is being able to laugh and banter even in the most adverse of circumstances.

    Not taking the hump and willy waving about who’s got the biggest dad.

    and as we all know, the old one's are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  12. And how the bloody hell do you know these details? - Does this mean you have a copy of my service record with you and maybe a list of all my mates in the marines too, good research! :)

  13. Its called taking the pi@@
    Keep your pink panties on for f@@ks sake
  14. Plymouth has more to worry about than terrorisim - they have got 2 concerts from Elton John and George Michael coming up!
  15. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    Theres some humourless prats about these days, probably poofs anyway.