Terminal Illness, what foods/drinks for high calorific content to give?

[Poppy]

I did indeed.

don't - you can't be a caring child to a parent if you're having to cook, clean, help them to the loo etc. I always told mum I would't ever put her in a home I'd look after her but after doing that for a couple of weeks after dad was in hospital realised I couldn't do a 24/7 caring role and be a daughter - leave it to the professionals and be their caring loving child

 

[RangdoOfArg]

so sorry to hear this

no advice really but having lost my mum (Parkinsons) last Sunday take care of yourself. My mum stopped eating on the Thursday and died on Sunday. The care home staff were absolutely wonderful and tried to get enough nourishment into her with soups and soft food prior to this - but I reckon she'd had enough. My dad and brother and I were with her and she wasn't in hospital she was adamant she didn't want that so we all did the best we could to give her the end she wanted.

Best wishes to you- people keep telling me I'm strong but what choice do we have? Showing love to the living is what makes us human

Sorry Poppy

 

[Proff3RTR]

don't - you can't be a caring child to a parent if you're having to cook, clean, help them to the loo etc. I always told mum I would't ever put her in a home I'd look after her but after doing that for a couple of weeks after dad was in hospital realised I couldn't do a 24/7 caring role and be a daughter - leave it to the professionals and be their caring loving child

And I do feel your pain my friend, lost my dad when I was 25, just got back from a west Belfast tour, on POTL, 1 week in, bang, massive heart attack gone. So yep, know how you must be feeling.

Take care.

 

[Poppy]

And I do feel your pain my friend, lost my dad when I was 25, just got back from a west Belfast tour, on POTL, 1 week in, bang, massive heart attack gone. So yep, know how you must be feeling.

Take care.

thank you - she was 89 and had been suffering from Parkinsons for a few years. The carers had to turn her over every hour so I'm comforted that she isn't suffering any more. She hated being bed bound she just wanted to fo for a walk in the forest

 

[Poppy]

And I do feel your pain my friend, lost my dad when I was 25, just got back from a west Belfast tour, on POTL, 1 week in, bang, massive heart attack gone. So yep, know how you must be feeling.

Take care.

thank you - must be hard when you were so young

 

[Proff3RTR]

thank you - must be hard when you were so young

Not at first I have to admit, was a bit after I had my ‘moment’ was busy getting all the admin squared (typical squaddie doing what we do best), but yep, hit my speed bump,then went back to Germany where we were based and cracked on, hard, but it does get better, a cliche I know, but a true one.

And another cliche I know, and I am not religious but bear with me, if mum was then she is at rest now and at peace.

 

[Norsemaid]

Didn't want to read and run but my heartfelt sympathy and thoughts going out to @BaldBaBoon and @Poppy .
Brilliant advice already given so won't add but I will enforce the caring for yourselves part . You'll need your strength for the days and weeks ahead and be kind to yourselves. I hope you have friends and other family who can help listen to you and check in with you .
Keeping in touch in here is grand as well however zany some of us might be on here but it's all for a good cause. .

 

[single malt]

Porridge made with full cream milk and honey

 

[Stabwedge]

It’s been mentioned already but try Fortisip. Both my parents had cancer and both were prescribed it. Very high calorie for a small size (same size as a Yakult bottle).
Did it help? Don’t know. Didn’t hurt though. Any meal, bowl of soup, hi-cal drink or sarnie your Mum eats is a little victory. Anything and everything is beneficial. That’s how I saw it.

 

[CaptainRidiculous]

My sympathies.
Lost my mum in 2018 -in similar circumstances to the OP - and my father 2 months ago.
The only thing mum could take as Lucozade (original, not the sports sh*t), heavily diluted.
Again, ensure YOU are looking after yourself, and maintaining a decent diet/exercise (even a daily mile walk) and personal hygiene regime. It is easy to skip meals without realising it, and having a pint or two turns into a pint or six.

 

[Lardbeast]

Hello

Quite a depressing subject to bring to your attention, but its an important one that I would like some advice on and maybe it will assist others in what is always a possibility with relatives/friends etc.

After 3 weeks of my mother being unable to keep food down from what we assumed was the after effects of a norovirus recently sweeping through her care home, I managed to get her checked out down the hospital. She is an old chick, nearly 89 years old and previous cancer scares.

Worse news possible after a scan, a polyp located 3 years ago in her lower intestine is now terminal cancer after spreading across her liver, bowel and stomach. Inoperable and her time left with us could be a few weeks to a few months. Amongst the many symptoms is her struggle to keep food down and as of now she is on a soft diet and likely be going to full liquid as this progresses.

These last few weeks I will spend a lot of time with her at the care home, and I was wondering has anyone had experience in how to get as much calories into the little food that she is eating as possible. I am attempting to try different stuff to see what stays down and what doesn't and am looking at the protein shakes and 40 sips stuff as emergency fare.

A suggestion of loading what food she can take with either butter, condensed milk, olive oil, mayonnaise, egg protein or whatever fits what she can eat is being looked at...ie...loads of butter in really soft scrambled eggs.

Any thoughts or experience ?

Sorry to hear that. Best friend had the same diagnosis.

Peanut butter milkshakes? Rich full fat ice cream, whole milk, peanut butter, raw egg or two and whip with milk shake/smoothie maker. Even quite thick it's easy to get in you and stays down, easily digested.

 

[Teeblerone]

thank you - she was 89 and had been suffering from Parkinsons for a few years. The carers had to turn her over every hour so I'm comforted that she isn't suffering any more. She hated being bed bound she just wanted to fo for a walk in the forest View attachment 612891

Sorry for your loss.
That is a great picture!

 

[Murphy_Slaw]

My experience with a similar terminal patient was helped by ice cream and yoghurts. Let the ice cream melt a bit so it's not freezing cold. Also fruit smoothies.
As Dingerr said up thread. Keep yourself well as you are no good to her if you are knackered. Tough times ahead, I wish you well.

 

[BaldBaBoon]

Again. Thanks for the replies, the " thumbs up " does not quite cut it as a thank you or as an appreciation for the advice provided, especially as so many of us have experienced the same thing

 

[Glasgow_Jock]

Sorry to hear about your mum.

Dingerr makes a good point. Although easier said than done, try not to let your personal admin fall by the wayside in your efforts to care for a parent, particularly your own feeding and rest/ sleep. My mum was in it for the long haul over a period of several years caring for her dementia afflicted mum so if there's siblings etc around it's important everyone takes a turn.

Honestly good suggestions in your OP, and a lot of it is simply what she can hold down or is palatable to her. In such conditions calories are king even if overall nutrition is secondary. Fortified shakes are probably your best bet though I like buttery full milk scrambled eggs or egg mayo on the nutrition/ palatable scale if she can hold them down.

 

[Lardbeast]

Just to add to my previous post, nothing stopping you adding a spoon full of protein powder to the shake as well. The athletic supplements might do the trick.

For variation, try macadamia butter, hazelnut butter or even add a spoon of nutella with the peanut butter.

 

[DemsMaShoes]

In the later stages of my wife's dementia she "forgot" how to eat.
Doctor suggested Fortisip drinks.
Supplemented with baby foods when possible.

 

[wheelchairwarrier]

so sorry to hear this

no advice really but having lost my mum (Parkinsons) last Sunday take care of yourself. My mum stopped eating on the Thursday and died on Sunday. The care home staff were absolutely wonderful and tried to get enough nourishment into her with soups and soft food prior to this - but I reckon she'd had enough. My dad and brother and I were with her and she wasn't in hospital she was adamant she didn't want that so we all did the best we could to give her the end she wanted.

Best wishes to you- people keep telling me I'm strong but what choice do we have? Showing love to the living is what makes us human

My condolences Poppy, stay strong.

 

[Grim_Squeaker85]

Nothing to add advice wise I am afraid. Rather, just popped in to offer my sincerest sympathies and best wishes.

I wish life were kinder to us all, but, when it isn't, all I can wish is that her passing is without pin or fear.

 

[Toastie]

Very sorry to hear this.

No real experience but as others have said, go for what she enjoys and maybe ask is calorific intake really the priority?

My mother was in a similar situation although not cancer. Her GP was old school and his view was the only intake she’d eat was what she actually wanted and that had the bonus of giving some small pleasure in a desperate time. I particularly remember asking him about the huge quantities of salt she added to her food and his reply was that if that’s how she liked it, why change it to something she liked less and that bluntly, a high salt diet was the least of her worries as something else was already killing her.

I’m sorry if the above sounds cold.

Elsewhere, my daughter is a recovering anorexic and is on a massively high calorie diet as she rebuilds. She’s loving things like cous cous and mashed potato because it’s easy to eat. Cous cous in particular is very easy to prepare. Ainsley Harriet range comes in packets and all you need is a kettle and a bowl so that might help if you’re doing it in her room? Mash we use to hide big lumps of butter in.

Another tip might be the psychological aversion to food? We use big bowls because it makes normal portions look small.

And finally, ice pops are very soothing. We make them using squash and water with a big dose of glucose powder dissolved into it. You can use sparkling water too which gives it a bit of sparkle both literally and figuaratively. It’s also home made so comes with love. Sounds soppy but it’s the little things.

I wish you and your mum all the best.