Tenuous Claims to Fame.


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I was once waiting to give evidence at a trial at Knightsbridge Crown Court when Paula Yates pitched up, also a witness but for the defence
She plonked herself down a couple of seats away from me , much to my regret.
Never in my life have I smelt someone so disgusting, her BO was off the scale, absolutely horrendous.
On the plus side, every time I see or hear that sanctimonious twat Geldof, I have a chuckle imagining his horror when she demanded oral...
Geldof is also known for being shy of the soap.

One assumes she upped her game when she buggered off with Hutchence.
I went to school with David Ross, drinking buddy and lender of yachts to Boris Johnson.

He was a weedy little twat and was strenuously bullied by all and sundry and I'm proud to say, especially me.

Hasn't done him any harm though. He owns Carphone warehouse and a socking great big Tudor manor House and estate with it's own private opera house in Leicestershire. Maybe he remembers me with affection? I expect so. Boys will be boys.

I also once sold a china duck to Brian May in Liberty's store and a pint of Flowers to Dennis Waterman.
I had a good dump earlier and oddly one of the turds looked like Jimmy Tarbuck

and about as funny


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Graham Norton used to work in the pub next door to my office , but i never actually saw him .


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Sitting in the green room for newsnight I saw this kindly old gent and offered him the plate of sarnies an I said " sorry mate I know yer face but I cant place yew , where ave we met " ?
He said
" I'M the British ambassador to the united nations " in a very kind and polite way . DOH!

he looked like Ralph Richardson in his old age . that's who i was thinking of . mid to late 1990s.
I didn't know you were a barman at the Winchester Club.
I was manager at "The Penny Black" in Leatherhead. The town theatre was next door. He popped in for a pint. Leatherhead being a bit posh, Tim Henman came in occasionally, as did Michael Caine. Jimmy White's wife (the snooker player) Maureen worked for me for a while on the lunch shift looking for something to do to pass the time. Nice lady, asked to wear black trousers to go with the company issued shirt, she rocked up in a pair of black leather Guccis driving a Mercedes Cabriolet.


Geldof is also known for being shy of the soap.

One assumes she upped her game when she buggered off with Hutchence.

Used to see the Irish Saint at Bonhams in Chelsea.

I did try and persuade the girl in accounts to bang her fist of the desk and shout "Just give us the ******* money" when it was his turn to pay

Sadly she wouldn't do it even when I told her he would be fine if she simply apologised and said sorry it's just I don't like Mondays
I was mentioned in the Milfs you would do" thread in the early hours of this morning, not as a Milf or that someone would do me, rather do to my lack of television watching.

Proper proud I am!!
I forgot one. A while ago I saw a bloke what I know on the telly. Ex Yeoman/Traffic Officer looking for a nice house in the Hereford area on Escape to the Country.

And...and...my two brothers were in the choir in our local church when Songs of Praise was filmed there. I never knew there were so many christians in our local area.
I have been trying to find something suitable to put in this thread - finally realised something that I have frequently boasted about.

When I left the army I was the most highly qualified person in the Army doing my job.

Whilst I was actually quite well qualified (and was recently offered £500 a day as a consultant to do it in civvy street) I was actually the only person in the Army doing my job.

So not really that much of a boast in reality...

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