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Tenuous Claims to Fame.

I once had to deal with a pretty famous MP.
She had a home office, and I had to stand on the landing and liaise with her PA , as she was working in the back bedroom.

Me ( to the PA) " I would like to inspect the attic please"
PA- "I'll just check with Mrs MP....... she said yes"

"I'm just going to inspect the roof from the rear garden"
" Can you wait for a minute.........whisper.whisper........Mrs MP said that yes, you may inspect the roof"

This went on for half an hour or so, and not once did she lower herself to come and talk to me.

I declined her claim, as it was wear and tear.

That went down well!
Letters to the CEO on Houses of Parliament headed notepaper. Still maintained my decision though!

ISTR someone recently got a slap for using HoC paper for personal business?
 
cheltennam
you had to be there man
Used to drink there years ago. One of the drinking club had a mate who worked as a tech at GCHQ and we all used to pile over from Brize in a Viva painted like a tiger and doss at his gaff. There used to be a place called the Centre Bar (mid-80s). It was full of some right oddities and was not too dissimilar to the bar out of Star Wars. Happy days.
 

Londo

LE
What a clown, reminds me of my first company 2 I/c
I spent 5 years doing these stock takes as there were about 750 Woolworths up and down the country and this was the only time I can remember someone spitting the dummy like that
A couple of times you would get one or two WPC' bimble up and an "allright lads , what's going on here" ? and then stand the rest of the troops down when given a satisfactory answer .
Will just mention we would always be fairly smartly dressed . Shirts , ties etc. and did not bear any resemblance to the Croydon Massive .
 
The story of my tenuous claim to fame involving the infamous Brian Paddick

He always struck me as a total nob with very strange ideas about policing.
Not quite in the same vein but you have reminded me of an incident some years ago.
My father was in the car park of Priory Police Station (Humberside bunch) when a very flashy and expensive sports car swept in and parked up.
Dad's mate walks up to said car and says to the driver:
"Can't park here son. Who think you are, Knight Rider?"
Cue production of warrant card which read:
'Deputy Chief Constable Keith Helliwell'
and thus was born the nickname (no pun intended) that lasted for the rest of flash git's career.


Sent from my karzi while losing several pounds
 
Might have posted this before:

I was at school with, and was briefly in a band with, notorious armed robber Stuart Hunter.

He met a sticky end.

.

The ridiculous thing is that his family were pretty (legitimately) wealthy.
 

Londo

LE
He always struck me as a total nob with very strange ideas about policing.
Not quite in the same vein but you have reminded me of an incident some years ago.
My father was in the car park of Priory Police Station (Humberside bunch) when a very flashy and expensive sports car swept in and parked up.
Dad's mate walks up to said car and says to the driver:
"Can't park here son. Who think you are, Knight Rider?"
Cue production of warrant card which read:
'Deputy Chief Constable Keith Helliwell'
and thus was born the nickname (no pun intended) that lasted for the rest of flash git's career.


Sent from my karzi while losing several pounds
I must say I've met some complete pillocks but Paddick really did take the biscuit .
 
I once cracked out 10 wanks to her in a day.
Banned from going ashore so me and a mate had a competition.
He was flagging after 5 tugs but mid afternoon me and Theresa romped it to victory.
Went down NAAFI to celebrate and blokes were treating me like I climbed Everest twice in a day.
Monday morning and the CSM collared me.
I hear you spent your time wisely. 10 eh fair play.
Next weekend you can get amongst the whores downtown again.
He had a look of faraway pride in his eyes the soppy old ****

Vintage ARRSE
 
I visit the posh school by Castelnau fairly regularly, Bolans shrine is worth a gander

Lordy, that brings back memories. The very first place that I lived in London was next to St. Mary's (I think) church on Castelnau, further up towards Hammmersmith Bridge.
Used to drink with a bunch of old-school blaggers and crims in the Gardeners Arms including Jumbo, a huge hill of a bloke with salami size fingers who was an enforcer and driver for the Krays.
Ooh, that'll be another tenuous claim to fame.


Sent from my karzi while losing several pounds
 
I visit the posh school by Castelnau fairly regularly, Bolans shrine is worth a gander
A member of the who was once approached by his son, Can't remember which one and was asked "did you ever know my dad"
The reply was no, but i live very close to the tree that he crashed into.
It was only a millisecond after that it sunk in what a twat he had been.
 
I've reported this elsewhere on Arrse. Old bloke sat in the back of a dead posh motor a half-mile from Charles and Di's wedding after-party, no security icon in windscreen, in the dark, rural location, engine running. I reported my intentions by radio but the driver had nothing to say when I badged up and challenged if they were waiting for someone. This so-called 'Duke of Edinburgh' bloke in the back said, "My wife!".

"Ah, right. Right you are, guv" and I retreated silently backwards into the blackness of the woods, curtseying or something.
 

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