Tenuous Claims to Fame.

Slight connections to Dennis Nilsen.

Same writing on my birth certificate.
Gran's door looked onto his childhood back garden.
Both of us were stationed at the same barracks(different times)
Had a go/touched his "Tools" bath/carving board in the Black Museum.

:cool:PS-- I haven't topped anyone--------Yet.
 
Had the esteemed task of hosting King Goodwill Zwelithini kaBhekuzulu back in the '90's.
My sincere apologies Ma'am.

I didn't mean, what I said, on another thread about Harry.
A, it was the NAAFI, and B, I didn't realise you had an Arrse account.

(Grovel, grovel, shuffles backwards out of the door)
 
Had the esteemed task of hosting King Goodwill Zwelithini kaBhekuzulu back in the '90's. His cp team were laughable. First they parked an armoured Merc so that nobody could get out of it (but it was in the shade, hugely important) They were all large men, but in a Telly Tubby rather than a menacing way. Their gats were in shit order , fluff everywhere mag springs clapped out etc

And all they wanted to do was eat.

All in all a bit like the Keystone Cops.
Didn’t know he used the RAF Regt?
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
I bumped into Idris Elba last night on the stagger to the station, big lad!
 

Sierra Charlie

War Hero
Had the esteemed task of hosting King Goodwill Zwelithini kaBhekuzulu back in the '90's. His cp team were laughable. First they parked an armoured Merc so that nobody could get out of it (but it was in the shade, hugely important) They were all large men, but in a Telly Tubby rather than a menacing way. Their gats were in shit order , fluff everywhere mag springs clapped out etc

And all they wanted to do was eat.

All in all a bit like the Keystone Cops.
Same all over Africa unfortunately,and don't think that they wash that often,get stuck in back of landrover with 5 or6 eye watering
 

syrup

LE
One from a long time ago
Watching the first episode of Hi De Hi the Granda described how in the desert his C.O. used to get them to greet each other by shouting Hi De Hi and receiving the reply Ho De Ho.
Describing the C.O. as mad he told us when they came back to the UK the C.O demanded they continue the tradition.
People could be put on a charge if they didn't return the greeting and were spotted by a Senior NCO or Officer.
So when out they had to yell it at each other across the street etc

Fast forward 30 years or so Jimmy Croft and David Perry are being interviewed about how they wrote the tv shows
Referring to Hi De Hi I think it was Jimmy Perry described this Army unit with a bonkers C.O who made them shout it at each other in the street and that's where the catchphrase came from
 
I once had a pee at Leigh Delamare services next to Lawrence Dellaglio. We’re about the same height but he was much wider and far far harder (ooooh errrr missus)
 

Pob02

LE
Book Reviewer
Not Biggest loser?
I used to film that..
Nope was certainly Fat Fighters-- - if anybody looks closely they will see one of the Personal Trainers wearing Rifles Rugby socks
 

Chicken

Old-Salt
I have met two former Soldiers who between them had been awarded three Victoria Cross.

Charles Upham's nephew had the neighbouring farm to ours when I was a kid.I used to see him fairly often.

I was having a smoke outside Wellington Airport when Willie Apiata sparked one up next to me.We had a yarn about hunting since I was leaning on a Rifle case.

I ambushed Maxi Jazz outside Gatwick for a handshake,I could see the hate in his eyes,reminded me of a wounded Hawk
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
I have met two former Soldiers who between them had been awarded three Victoria Cross.

Charles Upham's nephew had the neighbouring farm to ours when I was a kid.I used to see him fairly often.

I was having a smoke outside Wellington Airport when Willie Apiata sparked one up next to me.We had a yarn about hunting since I was leaning on a Rifle case.

I ambushed Maxi Jazz outside Gatwick for a handshake,I could see the hate in his eyes,reminded me of a wounded Hawk
hes a Crystal Palace support you should have slapped him
 

Poppycock

Clanker
I got guest listed in to the VIP area of Velvet night club in London in the late 1990s, then invited back to a very small gathering (4 of us) in a posh flat with one of the world's top dj's

The dj had an early flight to Ibiza in the morning so everyone was chilling while he was practicing his dj'ing skills. I was off my tits and didn't know a dj (never mind a famous one), so after about 20mins I interrupted the general conversation to ask what he was fcuking around with the music for =D

I also almost made it in to the film 24-hour Party People, picked off the dance floor at Factory nightclub in Manchester one night (very early morning). Again off my tits, I thought the film's casting director assistant doing the picking was an undercover police officer so I fcuked him off from mithering me as quickly as I could :crying:

Still think my 15mins of fame might be ahead of me though... :smile:
 

Sierra Charlie

War Hero
I got guest listed in to the VIP area of Velvet night club in London in the late 1990s, then invited back to a very small gathering (4 of us) in a posh flat with one of the world's top dj's

The dj had an early flight to Ibiza in the morning so everyone was chilling while he was practicing his dj'ing skills. I was off my tits and didn't know a dj (never mind a famous one), so after about 20mins I interrupted the general conversation to ask what he was fcuking around with the music for =D

I also almost made it in to the film 24-hour Party People, picked off the dance floor at Factory nightclub in Manchester one night (very early morning). Again off my tits, I thought the film's casting director assistant doing the picking was an undercover police officer so I fcuked him off from mithering me as quickly as I could :crying:

Still think my 15mins of fame might be ahead of me though... :smile:
Wasn't Jimmy saville was it ha
 
Talking of Jimmy Savile. I get sick of these people slagging him off. We though he was great when he visited us in the childrens' ward, back in the 70s.

You'll be telling me next that he wasn't qualified to do my prostate test.
 
One from a long time ago
Watching the first episode of Hi De Hi the Granda described how in the desert his C.O. used to get them to greet each other by shouting Hi De Hi and receiving the reply Ho De Ho.
Describing the C.O. as mad he told us when they came back to the UK the C.O demanded they continue the tradition.
People could be put on a charge if they didn't return the greeting and were spotted by a Senior NCO or Officer.
So when out they had to yell it at each other across the street etc

Fast forward 30 years or so Jimmy Croft and David Perry are being interviewed about how they wrote the tv shows
Referring to Hi De Hi I think it was Jimmy Perry described this Army unit with a bonkers C.O who made them shout it at each other in the street and that's where the catchphrase came from
I have property abroad, and Paul Shane stayed in it once. Who wants to touch me?
 
I made a Miss South Africa cry and pissed off her handlers.

Silly tart rolled up at the skydiving club for a first jump course back in the days it was done on rounds. Saw everyone fussing over her and asked her who she was. when she said 'Miss South Africa' I told her to stop talking shit and tell me he real name so we could put it on her certificate.

Turned into a bit of an argument and she ended up in tears because I reckoned she didn't look anything near what she claimed to be. Her handlers lost it and asked for someone else to train her.

A mate and myself at another skydiving club made a Miss South Africa wazz herself by setting off a firework mortar six feet behind her. She later married another mate who met her at the club that night and later killed himself in a Pitts Special showing off.
 
Talking of Jimmy Savile. I get sick of these people slagging him off. We though he was great when he visited us in the childrens' ward, back in the 70s.

You'll be telling me next that he wasn't qualified to do my prostate test.
I would have thought you should have become a bit suspicious when he did your prostate test without using his hands.
 
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