Tenuous Claims to Fame.

The lifts in my apartment block are made by them.

Any time someone new comes to my place I tell them the lift is really famous - they even made a film about it.

The worst dad joke ever.


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Me too. It must have been torture for people who visited often.
 
I worked on the film unit of the final series of "Ultimate Force" - known by all involved (presumably including the director) as "Ulti mate Farce".

Who'd have thought that "TV Hardman" Ross Kemp would turn out to be a turbo thundercunt?
 
The first real love of my life was a German, whoes dad served on the U Boats during WW2. He would often regale me with this ship sunk or that one. He was the 2ic of U101 (I think that was the number) which of all the U Boats which survived the war had sunk the most allied shipping. He was also the only box-head who admitted that he had fought the allies WW2, most of the others were Ruskie front soldiers.
But was he a skilled lover ?
 

Robme

LE
But was he a skilled lover ?
He was her Dad, never asked about the love life. However as he was around 60 when Ute was born and Viagra not invented I don’t expect he was overly active in that department. As I remember it her mum had not aged well.
 
Who'd have thought that "TV Hardman" Ross Kemp would turn out to be a turbo thundercunt?
Me and the other half shared a lift with him at the Cardiff Hilton, he came across as perfectly pleasant, even more so considering how much the great unwashed had hassled him for selfies and autographs while all he wanted to do was eat his breakfast.
 
I’ve had a good gander round Balmoral Castle and Birkhall and often been served tea by the head housekeeper in both.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
My Brother got Married on the 20th April
Adolfs Birthday
dont mention the war, I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it
 
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Mentioned this post to an ex-Tom who I served with in Londonderry back in the day. Reminded me of the day we raided Dana’s (all kinds of everything) Mum’s house. Bit of background required here, she hated the Army was loud, abusive and very keen on dustbin lids banging on the street. Anyhoo kicked her door in at around 4am and she was dragged out of bed just wearing some sort of scabby housecoat for which the surviving buttons gave up the ghost, just as Congo was taking a photo of her. Later developed to find all the gory details fully on display. 200 copies later distributed around the streets of Londonderry, kept her quiet for around a fortnight.
I bet you saw all kinds of everything?
 
Around 2003, I had a Geordie girlfriend, who told me she had been chatted up by Toon player, Carl Cort, while she was on a girls' night out. She said he had asked her to accompany him to a hotel on the Quayside, but she declined. Soon after, he transferred to Wolves. I told her he had left Newcastle due to threats off me, although the papers didn't mention that. I also told her that Carl Cort had jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire by going to Wolves.

Not sure if she believed me or not.
 
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