Tenuous Claims to Fame.


Have you had any such vague brushes with fame & celebrity that will impress nobody around the dinner table?
Here are a couple for starters:
My sister’s best friend at primary school, ‘Little Jo’, was the cousin of the bloke who was drummer with 10cc. True that!
Another one, not going quite as far back but still only the older FARTSSE (I believe that that is the correct collective noun), will remember that Wendy James of Transvision Vamp. She and Jason Donovan got slung out of and barred from my local boozer because she was being a massive gobshite.
Beat them if you can.

Sent from my karzi while losing several pounds
My dad has seen Rolf Harris's cock. They were part of the opening ceremony for a swimming baths and got changed in the communal changing room before diving in as part of the ceremony. Obviously many years before the revelations about Rolf and what he got up to with his didgerydoo surfaced...
Some chap from River City People came to a family do.

And I once had a p*ss next to Hunter from gladiators. He was in full rig too.
My Dad got given Tommy Docherty (fiery ex-Manchester United manager)’s old phone number after Tommy moved and my Dad bought a house in the same town. We used to get not-so-well-informed sports journalists calling about once a month.

Despite being 22 years older, Tommy is still alive and my Dad isn’t. Bugger.
I shagged a bird once who had shared a flat with a bloke out of Wishbone Ash.

I had an Ops Manager working for me who had been married to Jet Black’s son.

What are the odds eh?
A certain Arrser's father gave Mick Jagger a smack in the gob a few years ago.


War Hero
Many years ago, as a child, my wife lived in Grantham. Rory Underwood was based at Cottesmore or somewhere and did his shopping in Safeway in Grantham. The wife managed to run over his foot with a shopping trolley as her dad looked on aghast, knowing who he was and that he was playing for England in a couple of days time.

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Called the bloke who plays the other gay one (not the one that dies, the one that reads that "stop the clocks" poem) in that 4 weddings and a funeral that he was a tight cnut because he didn't have a lighter but was smoking in the Shepherds Bush Walkabout


Book Reviewer
Forgive him for he is new(ish) and knows not what he doeth.

(Nice assumption of Sluggys powers there?)
I thunk about having a go. I knew I'd typed this sh¡t out before and couldn't be arrsed to repeat. After consideration, I decided this thread is not quite the same as that, so I let it go.

But I wasn't missing the chance to link to my near misses.
I saw that disgraced footballer who looks like a Mexican drug lord (Bruce Gobbler??) in the Tesco wine shop in Calais once.

Does that count.
Whilst staging on at a charity event at Arborfield Garrison, I stopped Jimmy Saville’s gold Rolls Royce at the back gate (please, clear your mind of smut!). After confirming his ID he gave me and my mate a very large Cuban cigar (no no stop it, no euphemisms here please!)
I used to drink in my local pub with "Blake" of Blake's 7 (or at least the actor Gareth Thomas who played him. Top bloke but sadly gone now


I showed Alice Nutter out of Chumbawumba my cock at one of their gigs cos she asked to see it. Not sure who was the most pished....
I`ve never quite got the celebrity fascination/adoration thing , so many are self centred cnuts who I wouldn't want to know what ever . I guess their followers think some of their wealth and success may rub off on them ?


Tried really really really hard to get the singer out of Total Coelo to suck my plums on a night out once. She didnt.


Book Reviewer
I saw that disgraced footballer who looks like a Mexican drug lord (Bruce Gobbler??) in the Tesco wine shop in Calais once.

Does that count.
When Zero Alpha was learning to drive (early 90s?) one day her driving instructor took her past the Dell. The squad was out running. After she'd missed them all, he informed her the one running backwards toward her was Grobbelaar.

5 years or so ago, I was sat outside a coffee shop in Whiteley with Zero Alpha, Alien Minor 1 and granddaughter Bella when then Pompey keeper David James walked past.
The weirdest was having a pint with a woman who claimed to have been Brit Ekland's stunt bottom in the Wicker Man, it's such a tenuous claim I doubt they'd make it up

But otherwise Mickey Rourke trying to glass me as he didn't want his photo taken

Drunkenly snogging Jenny Agutter when I was doing someone a favour and walting as IT director at a charity bash

I've taken an upskirt of Katy Hill at another charity bash, and the foxy minx was quite happily letting me take it

Seeing some bloke coming out of nightclub and I was seemingly the only one unaware of who he was, it turned out to be Jay Z

Queueing in the work canteen next to Snoop Dog, him dressed like a 70's pimp and looking every bit the celeb bar the little detail of seeing him buying a salad, which isn't a very rock n'roll lifestyle accessory

Neil Gallagher in the same canteen another day acting just the twat you'd expect, looking grumpy and doing the why isn't everyone looking at me act

De La Soul turning up at the works canteen, I must have been the only one who knew who they were, they were as down to earth as you'd expect

Boy George turning up to the birthday party of a dominatrix I know to sing a few songs

I gave a lift to one of Hawkwinds roadies back in the late 80's and that made the journey a bit smokey

And one of my neighbors along the road is a rock star and still touring
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