Who the flying fuck decided that shaving your plums was a good idea. I've always tended to my testiclular topiary and kept them neat and trimmed, however due to me demanding the doris get rid of her landing strip and go Yul Bryner I have had to get rid of my plum hair in exchange. Never again, am sat here with an ice pack on my knacker bag as it feels like its been set about by Kelly's heroes complete with flame thrower and white phospherous. The doris uses that removal cream rather than a razor so my knackers where liberally coated with Veet cream and the clock set to 5 mins. After a minute or two the temperature on my spuds started to soar. Within five minutes, there was a weird smell of burning, I thought I'd torched my beloved rod. Apparently its normal and its the hair burning. A quick shower, leaving smooth sack and botty crack (am a bit on my leg that I missed) later, following the instructions I patted my sex potatoes dry. Then the pain struck and the colour of my nut satchel changed from nice and pink to glowing red, like the beacon on Batmans door. After this episode I think I'm going to sport a nob affro as am not keen to set about my genitals cream, razor or anything more potent than some talcom powder. The most disappointing thing about the whole episode is that now my scrote is to sore to empty it all over her newly bald cock socket. Does anyone else regularly keep a bald set of pods? I won't be doing it again, whilst its like a bright red silk purse, it looks like Telly Sevalis after necking a bucket of tobasco.