Ten Signs You Might Be a Member of the Taliban...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by jackhackett, Feb 1, 2008.

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  1. Apologies if this has been done (to death)

    10. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

    9. You own a $300 machine gun and a $5000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

    8. You have more wives than teeth.

    7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

    6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared jihad against.

    5. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

    4. You've never been asked, "Does this burka make my bum look big?"

    3. You were amazed to discover that mobile phones can do more than set off roadside bombs.

    2. You've never heard the phrase, "I love what you've done with
    your cave."

    1. And the NUMBER ONE sign you might be a member of the Taliban... You wipe your arse with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.

  2. thats me.

    all of the above.
  3. giggle, snigger
  4. Mildly funny
  5. Can we get this printed up on a nice green ARRSE t-shirt for wear during the summer?
  6. sounds like a plan i'll buy one
  7. id buy one as well
    as long as a pic of osama bin laden is on it
  8. I am outraged that it is not availble already! Could we add one of those logos like the Yanks have with skulls, daggers, eagle wings and a badly shaped green beret? If so I will have 2.
  9. after your recent post im beginning to suspect my sister-inlaw


    she doesnt actually wear a burka, she is just extremely obese and it looks like she is wearing one (unfortunatley the facial post box part she doesnt wear)

    also she hasnt got any teeth....no boyfriends. in case no-one has noticed i hate her fcukin guts! even thinking about her winds me up

    so thanks for bringing that up!
  10. I think I'll make it into a poster, stick it on the Diversity Managers door, retire to a safe distance and see how long it takes for the paramedics to arrive once she has a fit
  11. and not forgetting, having your head on upside down
  12. 4. You've never been asked, "Does this burka make my bum look big?"


    4: When your latest wife wants an opinion on her new outfit she asks: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
  13. OMG, so you are saying, if I wear i burka, my bum will never look big?? why didn't I think of this sooner!!
  14. Look if she's still breathing somebody on this site will fcuk her rigid for you. And no teeth may be a bonus for the right person :twisted: