Keep these in mind for when you next play Number :10 Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" Number : 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth." Number : 8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes . . . . You miss the ball much closer now." Number : 7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually." Number : 6 Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so . . . .That would be too much of a coincidence." Number : 5 Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction." Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass." Number : 4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "It's very good - but personally, I prefer golf." Number : 3 Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday? Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day." Number : 2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "This isn't the golf course . . . . We left that an hour ago." And the Number : 1 . . . . Best Caddy! Comment: Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir." Bonus . . . . . An old favorite . . . . . About the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole . . . . . He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy. . . .. . Golfer: "Can you see any obvious problems . . . .??" Caddy: "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club." Golfer: He picks up his club up and cleans the club face . . . . . Caddy: "No sir, its at the other end"