I notice that the Joke Section is missing and thought that your Joke or story could maybe be put up here until things are sorted. Even if the joke is known to some, it will give others a daily laugh. So as a starter...... He was a binge drinker and his wife said. "If you ever come home drunk again, I'm going to leave you". He went out to a pub, got pissed and threw up over his shirt. He moaned to his friend. "I've had my last chance, if I go home like this, my wife will leave me". His friend said. "I tell you what, put a twenty-pound note in your inside jacket pocket, go home and show it to her and tell her somebody threw-up over you and he gave you the money for the dry-cleaning bill." He goes home and his wife is furious at the state he's in and tells him, that's the end, she is leaving. He says. "No, no, no, somebody was sick over me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket pocket for the dry-cleaning bill". His wife digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out some money, she said "There are two twenty-pound notes in there?"He said "Oh yeah the other is from the bloke who shat in my pants".