40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Scotland go out and sunbathe.

35 degrees - Italian cars have trouble starting.

People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on their shorts and t-shirts.

15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state.

People in Scotland go to the beach for a picnic and a swim.

0 degrees - New York landlords finally turn the heating on.

People in Scotland have a last barbi before it starts to get cold.

-10 degrees - People in Miami become extinct.

People in Scotland are still queueing at the ice cream van.

-20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico .

People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

-80 degrees - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.

Scottish Boy Scouts postpone their winter survival exercise
until it gets cold enough.

-100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in Scotland wear a vest and rake out their bunnets.

-173 degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes.

People in Scotland get angry 'cos they cannae thaw their whisky.

-297 degrees – Micro-biotic life starts to grind to a halt.

Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Scotland start saying "A bit hill billy ... eh? "

Wait for it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait for it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait for it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-500 degrees - Hell freezes over.

Then, and only then do Scottish people support

England in the World Cup

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