Telling "difficult" friends about joining the Army

#1
I'm sure this has been discussed in another post as some point, but I can't find one so here's a new one:


I'm in the process of joining up with the Army and should be going in ASAP once I've my Uni' finals behind me. Up until this point I've chosen to keep the joining the Army news to myself, my parents and two or three very close friends who are all 100% supportive of my choice.

Recently, I've been getting the usual "so what's your plans for next year" question off a lot of people as you'd expect, and I've basically had to start telling people when they corner me in conversation about my Army plans. Now for the most part people are very supportive and respectful of my decision, but every now and then I'll get a very negative reaction off people.

People I thought would have been supportive have almost turned against me, throwing ridiculous arguments at me such as "why are you going to Iraq to kill babies" and "why do you want to shoot people for a career"? Normally I would ignore stupid ignorant remarks like this (incidently, I've given up trying to explain my reasons for joining in favor of changing the conversation ) but what is very annoying and depressing is that ignorant comments like these are comming from long time friends who are just out of college or in their final year... you'd think they'd have a little more knowledge of the world and how it works, and also be a little more supportive of my choice.

In some peoples eyes, I'm going off to far flung nations to kill people and it's that simple... no matter how much I try and explain that the Army is about much much more than that, it's sometimes feels impossible to respond to comments like that... what do you say? Call them lefty hippies or whatever, but when they throw that simple gross simplification in your face, you can't really disagree with them apart from trying to explain that the Army is about more than killing... but they can't see that and I'm afraid I'm loosing the respect of some friends because of it.

I'm sure everyone who has joined the Army or is interested in doing so has experienced a conversation like this. What do you say in this situation to salvage the respect of a friendship? ... or maybe am I getting this all wrong... If someone is not supportive, does that mean they are not a friend at all, even if their intentions are good?

Cheers
 
#2
If people consider you a close friend, yet disagree violently with your choice, it may be a point to ask them if they think they have misjudged you.
If they like who you are as a person and appreciate that during your friendship you've generally done things for the right reason, you might open a crack in their silly little mind, which you can crowbar open wide enough to get some reason into.

If not, **** em. You'll make better friends than them in the Army anyway.
 
#3
Why do you care?

In 12 months time you will have forgotten all the doomsayers, if they can't support you then fcuk em. You'll get plenty of other mates to replace them.

And eventually you'll turn into an arrogant cnut like the rest of us serving and ex and just look down on them as "civvies" :)

Screw them, if they argue again, eat their children.
 
#4
Aunty Stella said:
Why do you care?

In 12 months time you will have forgotten all the doomsayers, if they can't support you then fcuk em. You'll get plenty of other mates to replace them.

And eventually you'll turn into an arrogant cnut like the rest of us serving and ex and just look down on them as "civvies" :)

Screw them, if they argue again, eat their children.
The best advice you'll ever get!!!

Why is it always Uni types? Tell them to get a wash and stop being scared of getting a job whilst you're at it.
 
#5
Don't worry about them, some people just do not understand what the army is about or what it is really like, I had a few mates like that. As has already been said, you'll have plenty of new mates soon. In my opinion, your true mates, the ones who you are most likely stay in contact with throughout your careers are the ones who support and back you, and try and ask questions and learn more about your choice, whether they agree with it or not. Fcuk what other people think anyway!!!
 
#6
Closet_Jibber said:
Why is it always Uni types? Tell them to get a wash and stop being scared of getting a job whilst you're at it.
Because they usually are, as a certain AAC Captain said at ATR Winchester, Liberal Lefty Lesbian types!!!
 
#7
irishpacker said:
I'm sure everyone who has joined the Army or is interested in doing so has experienced a conversation like this. What do you say in this situation to salvage the respect of a friendship? ... or maybe am I getting this all wrong... If someone is not supportive, does that mean they are not a friend at all, even if their intentions are good?

Cheers
Too true, mucker. The best tactic is to agree completely with them. Tell them it was always your secret ambition to shoot folks, blow stuff up and eat babies for breakfast.

Apart from that, what Aunty Stella said. And he should know because he's been in nine days already. :D

MsG
 
#8
"I'm afraid I'm loosing the respect of some friends because of it."

Shouldn't that be the other way round? After all they, not you, are being childish about it.

How many of your school chums are you still in touch with, after uni? If you're desparate to stay in touch with these 'friends', who don't sound very sincere, then perhaps simply point out that they're talking nonsense/ oversimplifying/ talking out their arrses.

As has been said, you don't need them anyway, loads of better mates to be made when you join up! :) :D
 
#9
Aunty Stella said:
Why do you care?

In 12 months time you will have forgotten all the doomsayers, if they can't support you then fcuk em. You'll get plenty of other mates to replace them.

And eventually you'll turn into an arrogant cnut like the rest of us serving and ex and just look down on them as "civvies" :)

Screw them, if they argue again, eat their children.
My 18 year old son was adament he would not leave his mates behind!I tried to tell him they would grow apart.Got angry and said never going to happen.

All was ok until he passed out,lived in each others pockets for the week he was on leave,then that was it.He felt he had nothing in common with them anymore.I had the mother phoning me asking me if i knew what my son had done to her son :roll:

If they are true friends then they will support you no matter what you choose to do.

Oh and after 10 months in my son is very much an arrogant c*unt! :wink:
I like to think its pride!
 
#10
Here's my tuppence worth...

Ask them if they realise that without the British Army being in places like the Gan and Iraq, there would multiple civvie casualties.. far more deaths inflicted upon the innocent than the British Army inflict upon the insurgents...

The Army isn't just there to kill, it's to PREVENT... it's very much a peace-making tool in my eyes
 
#11
If they can't see beyond what you want to do as a career then quite frankly fcuk em. In a short time you are going to realise people like that aren't fit to lick dog sh1t off your boots.
 
#12
After 40 years in the Army and then working all over the world I returned to the house I was born in and remet all my school friends, the ones who said I was a fool, wouldn't make it, get killed ect And I realise that most of them now see that I have lived , and they have mearly existed, and produced useless children. One of them , who is in his fiftys has never had a job, never been abroard, and only claim to fame is the amount of times he was arrested for pointless crime, including wife and child abuse.

The other members of my intake now live all over the world and keep in touch daily on the net, they are all well traveled, experienced people who have done things that most civis will only see on tv

Frendship forged in battle is only terminated by death, Roger Lamb

As for your so-called friends, SOD THEM
 
#13
you could always tell them to **** off?
 
#14
I'm with what everyone else says here. I may have only been in for a short time but I'm still in touch with people I was in phase 1 with - In fact had a text from one about 5 minutes ago! When you join, you will loose good and bad friends as people go their seperate directions, but you will make new friends for life in the forces.
 
#15
The only problem is that squaddy humour. stupid things you do,that no civvi would ever believe, while in the forces will be used to embarres you for the rest of your life.

example. while I and my girlfriend where at a very posh do( the Queen was guest of honour) a very smart be-gowned lady walked up to us and said "Hello **** shaged any donkys lately" She was my ex-tank comanders wife
 
#16
You have decided to take a path and that will inevitably lead you a very long way away from some of the people you currently call friends.

When (and if you choose to) you meet them again your experiences will have been very different and your outlook attitude etc will have changed, perhaps to the extent with some that you will wonder why you ever bothered to keep their company in the first place.

Your real friends will support you and as for the rest of them you have two options:

1. Listen carefully to their opinions and point out the factual errors. Argue your case carefully and attempt to win the day through force of intellect and character.

2. Inivite them to fcuk a very long way off.

Net outcome will be the same.

So, stop worrying about it and get another pint in. :lol:
 
#17
tropper66 said:
After 40 years in the Army and then working all over the world I returned to the house I was born in and remet all my school friends, the ones who said I was a fool, wouldn't make it, get killed ect And I realise that most of them now see that I have lived , and they have mearly existed, and produced useless children. One of them , who is in his fiftys has never had a job, never been abroard, and only claim to fame is the amount of times he was arrested for pointless crime, including wife and child abuse.

The other members of my intake now live all over the world and keep in touch daily on the net, they are all well traveled, experienced people who have done things that most civis will only see on tv

Frendship forged in battle is only terminated by death, Roger Lamb

As for your so-called friends, SOD THEM
well said, i can remember the doubters and pyss takers when i was joining up. Also the older lads picking on me saying id never make it. Kind of knocked my confidence.

That was till I'd been in a while and learned more about myself in 12weeks than I had 17 years previously. I soon learned what proper mates were.

I enjoyed coming home after phase 2, obviously full of myself a bit, and square-going one of the lads who used to pick on me. He thought i was still the quiet kid who left 6months ago, fcukin shock he got the daft cnut.

As for baby killers! If anyone else was on telic 2 can they remember op stewart when 1 QLR found a baby locked inside an ammo box during an arrest op. It would have suffocated had they not found it. Dont know if that story ever made the news, but i remember it quite well. Im sure the QLR even named the bairn after one of their battle honours aswell.

I find the best thing to do when these liberal lefty militant lesbian types is getting on to you a bit, is just poke them in the eye! makes them look really silly and they usually start crying and do one! sorted. :)
 
#18
Ever thought that it's not you, it's them?

A friend of mine has a girl in Bath Uni. Every day they talk and she says life is fine. Last week she was thrown out for turning up pissed, missing lectures, not getting her work in.

So my question is, why would you want to take notice of her (and people just like her) opinion?

Make your own way in life, do what you think is best for you. That's the difference between a wannabee and an actual - you're either doing it or you're not.

Good luck
 
#19
People I thought would have been supportive have almost turned against me, throwing ridiculous arguments at me such as "why are you going to Iraq to kill babies" and "why do you want to shoot people for a career"?

Simple answer:
1. "Do you actually believe what you just said?"
2. "Why not?"

Squaddie answer;
So I should stay at home, become a politician and invade other countries, or work in the city helping the system to create the profit motive to start wars and create misery? Great careers and very respectable.
No, I can see the world, learn a myriad of talents and incidentally learn to protect you and the society that gives you free speech as previous generations of soldiers have done, many of whom remain out there.
The killing of babies is just a plus, incidentally I am told that the best way to kill a baby is first to throw it on the ground, bayonet it, then point the rifle upwards, pull the trigger and watch it fly off the bayonet. Then you get to rape the screaming mother afterwards to round off the day.

Enjoy the expression on their faces and stroll off with a job well done. If you don't completely understand it, don't worry you will.
Oh, and good luck to you.
 
#20
irishpacker said:
I'm sure this has been discussed in another post as some point, but I can't find one so here's a new one:


I'm in the process of joining up with the Army and should be going in ASAP once I've my Uni' finals behind me. Up until this point I've chosen to keep the joining the Army news to myself, my parents and two or three very close friends who are all 100% supportive of my choice.

Recently, I've been getting the usual "so what's your plans for next year" question off a lot of people as you'd expect, and I've basically had to start telling people when they corner me in conversation about my Army plans. Now for the most part people are very supportive and respectful of my decision, but every now and then I'll get a very negative reaction off people.

People I thought would have been supportive have almost turned against me, throwing ridiculous arguments at me such as "why are you going to Iraq to kill babies" and "why do you want to shoot people for a career"? Normally I would ignore stupid ignorant remarks like this (incidently, I've given up trying to explain my reasons for joining in favor of changing the conversation ) but what is very annoying and depressing is that ignorant comments like these are comming from long time friends who are just out of college or in their final year... you'd think they'd have a little more knowledge of the world and how it works, and also be a little more supportive of my choice.

In some peoples eyes, I'm going off to far flung nations to kill people and it's that simple... no matter how much I try and explain that the Army is about much much more than that, it's sometimes feels impossible to respond to comments like that... what do you say? Call them lefty hippies or whatever, but when they throw that simple gross simplification in your face, you can't really disagree with them apart from trying to explain that the Army is about more than killing... but they can't see that and I'm afraid I'm loosing the respect of some friends because of it.

I'm sure everyone who has joined the Army or is interested in doing so has experienced a conversation like this. What do you say in this situation to salvage the respect of a friendship? ... or maybe am I getting this all wrong... If someone is not supportive, does that mean they are not a friend at all, even if their intentions are good?

Cheers
Did your friends really say "you are going to kill babies"?

Or had you just watched Born on The Fourth July and confuse your life with that of a disenchanted, wounded Vietnam veteran?
 

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