Please. I will shut my eyes and count to three (actually I will nut you on the count of one but I never said I wouldn't lie, did I?). Moving on. I find myself in SE Asia. The Land of Smiles. And I have had enough of it. Smiling shortarse rice burning dipshits. Fucking smiling motherfuckers. I have a horrible Rav Toyota pickup which spews diesel fumes upon gap-year eco-warrior cyclists and mixes it with everything but the concrete trucks. I have a full-on bi-polar attitude problem and fucking anger management issues and I am probably armed. I am on top of Bokar mountain. The Rav has a full tank and I am not in the fucking mood, you know? If an honest Englishman would have the decency to tell me that he did my Mum and he hopes I die in a fire, WITHOUT SMILING, I should regard it as a favour. Thanks.