Telephone Helpline

X-Inf

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#1
You may have seen this before but if not it should give you some small amusement. If you recognise yourself then anonimity is permitted.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer
8O
 
#2
This is the truth and was recorded for training perposes, someone from the complaints department got an earful from a "disgruntled" customer. The support person actually used strong words than depicted here. He was fired even though his boss couldn't stop laughing.


Funny all the same :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#3
This sounds a lot like our stupid Staff Officers. The amount of silly phone calls they give us for simple things.

I was at one only last week where he said his computer had died and nothing was working. All that had happened was the cleaner had unplugged his monitor to use it for the vacuum. So its not just civvie help desks, bloody staff officers cause just as much trouble.
 
#4
On that note.. all you tech savvy smartypants can keep your fingers crossed on my behalf.. and my two story fans will just have to sit on it a bit longer 'til I'm back up and running [ if ever ] ..

after dealing with a Spyware invasion,, many annoying pop-up sh*t ads that my blocker , for some reason, couldn't filter and , now a homepage hijack something or other, the 10 year old IT whiz and his kid sister who live down the street have convinced me to allow them to give me a system makeover and are going to upgrade my 'puter memory and stuff and clean my infections for just a small ransom and usurious time payments...

with luck I should be back up an running by Thursday with a ' new computer ' and able to be back in the ' real world '...

Then I'll tell you the story of how Microsoft ' helped ' me the last time I had a problem..

and maybe I'll finally get to play my Sid Meier's Gettysburg Game without crashing...
 
#5
still trying to find my "any" key
 
#6
Rocketeer said:
On that note.. all you tech savvy smartypants can keep your fingers crossed on my behalf.. and my two story fans will just have to sit on it a bit longer 'til I'm back up and running [ if ever ] ..

after dealing with a Spyware invasion,, many annoying pop-up sh*t ads that my blocker , for some reason, couldn't filter and , now a homepage hijack something or other,
Make sure they install the firefox browser from http://www.getfirefox.com

Bingo: no more popups, no spyware, no homepage hijacks all at no cost to you!

msr
 

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