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Teeth whitening

Well here’s the thing.

I’ve given up the smokes for over 7 years now. Only one coffee a day. I’ve moved to white instead of red because red hurts too much In the morning.

But the residue of all that caffeine, nicotine and tannin over 40 something years has left me with gnashers the colour of chips.

My fabulous Lithuanian lady dentist, who looks like Venus in scrubs but better stacked, and who I would pay almost anything and happily sacrifice my children, to see naked just once, has suggested a course of tooth whitening costing some £400.

Yet I see in Boots all sorts of whitening tooth pastes and gels etc that promise miraculous results at about £30.

Anyone tried anything like this? Does the Fang Farrier have an opinion? Thoughts?
 
Well here’s the thing.

I’ve given up the smokes for over 7 years now. Only one coffee a day. I’ve moved to white instead of red because red hurts too much In the morning.

But the residue of all that caffeine, nicotine and tannin over 40 something years has left me with gnashers the colour of chips.

My fabulous Lithuanian lady dentist, who looks like Venus in scrubs but better stacked, and who I would pay almost anything and happily sacrifice my children, to see naked just once, has suggested a course of tooth whitening costing some £400.

Yet I see in Boots all sorts of whitening tooth pastes and gels etc that promise miraculous results at about £30.

Anyone tried anything like this? Does the Fang Farrier have an opinion? Thoughts?
@Fang_Farrier - any thoughts?
 

UKRaider

Old-Salt
And then there is this.....
RYLAN-CLARKE-NEAL.jpg
 
Well here’s the thing.

I’ve given up the smokes for over 7 years now. Only one coffee a day. I’ve moved to white instead of red because red hurts too much In the morning.

But the residue of all that caffeine, nicotine and tannin over 40 something years has left me with gnashers the colour of chips.

My fabulous Lithuanian lady dentist, who looks like Venus in scrubs but better stacked, and who I would pay almost anything and happily sacrifice my children, to see naked just once, has suggested a course of tooth whitening costing some £400.

Yet I see in Boots all sorts of whitening tooth pastes and gels etc that promise miraculous results at about £30.

Anyone tried anything like this? Does the Fang Farrier have an opinion? Thoughts?

None of that shite in boots will do it. Dentists appear to be the only option i'm afraid but you can get it done much cheaper than that. I had mine done in the netherlands for 150 euro and it was decent.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
This raises an interesting question - at what point does doing things to reverse the ageing process (such as botox, tooth whitening etc.) become "normal" to the point where those who don't bugger about with nature are considered somehow poor or deprived? Surely it's more important to have healthy teeth and other bits than to look like a parody of someone decades younger?
 
1601410893522.jpeg


Call it a round 'undred quid - cheaper, safer, and appropriate for the foreseeable. It will last longer than bleached gnashers too.

No thanks necessary, just the money money will do.
 
Well here’s the thing.

I’ve given up the smokes for over 7 years now. Only one coffee a day. I’ve moved to white instead of red because red hurts too much In the morning.

But the residue of all that caffeine, nicotine and tannin over 40 something years has left me with gnashers the colour of chips.

My fabulous Lithuanian lady dentist, who looks like Venus in scrubs but better stacked, and who I would pay almost anything and happily sacrifice my children, to see naked just once, has suggested a course of tooth whitening costing some £400.

Yet I see in Boots all sorts of whitening tooth pastes and gels etc that promise miraculous results at about £30.

Anyone tried anything like this? Does the Fang Farrier have an opinion? Thoughts?

We need a photo of your dentist so we can tell if she knows what she’s talking about.
 

Biggish

Swinger
To prevent my smile from looking like the Norwich City team photo, I use Eucryl tooth powder and Pearl Drops.
Don't go full Tipp-Ex straight away :-D
 
Grow a beard,

If your beard is grey or god forbid ginger, dye it black

your yellow teeth will look much whiter...
 

Ritch

LE
Just use TippEx like Richard Hammond.

Serious answer, I'd pay the money and have it done at your dentist if you want to go ahead with it. What's 400 quid if it will give you better feelings about yourself.

Oh and pics of the dentist.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
There's different types of staining, intrinsic and extrinsic.
There's also the natural aging process which tends to change the shade of teeth for a couple of reasons.

Some of these are easier fixed than others.

Whitening can be done by bleaching agents or abrasive agents.

Both can have side effects, such as sensitivity and even teeth dying.

Human teeth are not normally white but a creamy colour. White looks unnatural because it is! Same with teeth that are too light for your age.

Most whitening procedures will lighten your teeth but not any fillings or crowns which will then not match the shade of your teeth.
 
They are **** about straight white teeth here in't US, some of them look like they get out a bottle of ultra pure white tippex out on their gnashers every morning.

I must say though nowadays whenever I come over to euro-land I do notice how grey peoples teeth are in comparison. No I have not had mine whitened, but septic dentists being crap at fillings have replaced all my filled teeth with crowns - and I will cough to having had my top four front teeth crowned because they were wonky.

Charcol toothpaste and Crest 3D whitening strips seem to be a favourite method people use at home here. TBH 400 quid is a piss take and I would expect her to do the treatment whilst naked for that money.

Check crest 3d whitening on youtube.
 
I had mine done a few years ago for about EUR150. The dentist took a mould, then gave me a clip on thing for upper and lower into which I squeezed some gel each evening. Then you clip these in and sleep in them. Each morning you take them out again and after six days you're done. You don't get ultra-white gnashers, they are just three shades lighter. Looked quite good though.

I thought it was worth it.
 
I got the hard sell off the fang mechanic about having a nice smile. Having had a bad week culminating in a visit to the dentist, my reply was something like 'what the hell do I have to smile about? I've got gout, a heart irregularity, type II diabetes, piles, thyroid problems, arthritis and I'm about to retire with no pension. That sort of killed the sales pitch. My teeth still mangle sausages and do what they're supposed to so I don't care what colour they are. With a bit of polishing this could turn into a rant.
 
I had my Japanese (female) dentist pull a wisdom tooth for me on Monday. It was as white as anything but bad to the bone. She let me see it afterwards and it was a thing of beauty whited as a sepulcher on the crown chewing surface but decayed underneath. 100 notes that cost me and she was a good 'un and had it out before I knew to yell. God knows what the insurance will pay, but the dentist will do all right.

Because it was so far back in my mouth, (No. 32) she decided to give me two Novocain injections to make sure it was properly numbed up before she started working on it. She put some numbing medicine on a stick and painted my mouth first at the site of the injections so that I wouldn’t jump when she rammed the needle into my mouth, and it was a good thing she did so. The numbing of the surface where the needle would go in went pretty well, but this time when she gave me the injection, I experienced a momentary unpleasant sensation of all the nerves of my teeth in my lower jaw crying out in pain before the Novocain kicked in and shut everything down. Even the nerves that had fed my two lower front teeth (which had been pulled last year) were screaming bloody murder. It felt like the dentist was dragging the end of the needle along each one of the sensitive roots of my teeth. I was quite glad of the anesthetic effect of the Novocain when it started to work as it quieted down my discomfort. If she didn't have big norks I wouldn't go to her anymore.
Big tit dental assistant.jpg
 

KnockKnock

Old-Salt
Tooth whitening? Needs to be done by a professional.... B1 that's the shade to go for, if you want a pretty smile.
 
Last edited:

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
Don't use Colgate Whitening plus Fresh Breath toothpaste. Zero Alpha did, realised her lips were getting sore.

I went to finish off the tube, realised my lips and guns were also getting sore. Binned. I'm back on Oral B.
 

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