Teenage Mother promotes safe sex

#1
Yep, the title is right believe it or not:

BBC fat fcuker

She's a fcuking state, 17, single mother - more chins than an inbred family gathering and she's trying to lecture about safe sex.

The only way sex would be safe with her is with packets of flour (for the wet patch) and a full diving suit and safety line.

Safe sex with me? Make sure I haven't got a knife/shovel :evil:
 
#12
What has safe sex been promoted to?

Full Screw?

"Fran Birch, teenage pregnancy coordinator, said: "We're very pleased our rates have come down, because we've always been the highest area in the South West for teenage conceptions"

That is simply because no-one wants to shag a pig!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#14
Swindon? Swindon? I was in Swindon some time ago, and had partaken of a little light refreshment. I had espied a slender and svelte goddess, with flaxen hair and flawless skin. Breasts like small melons, and lips like ripe cherries, ( I was in a fruity mood). We danced sublimely, the envy of all in the club. We talked of light yet sophisticated matters, her soft laugh akin to an angel whispering. She was erudite, beautiful and had exquisite taste. We strolled hand-in hand to her bijou and trendy apartment where we fell into each other's arms in the moonlight and made soft, gentle and passionate love all night.
When I awoke in the morning, it was clear that witchcraft had been used. The bed was stained and smelly, the dingy flat was run-down and shabby and the delicate beauty beside me had been substituted by a very larg, and very ugly hag, who dribbled as she snored - and not just from her mouth! I grabbed my lucky charm, and used the magic words " taxi, pleeeaaasssse!) into it, then with the aid of my magic credit card I made good my escape.
Moral; beware of the hopgoblins in Swindon. They can mask your sight and befuddle your mind.
 
#19
the_matelot said:
Even I wouldn't go near that beast.
Thats Bollox matelot , i bet you shagged the worst of the worst, in fact if i was in the UK we could hold the Arrse who can shag the worst contest, i you would probably win, however i did score with a couple of rough yins at the gronks ball in Lymstone many moons back.