Teenage Mother promotes safe sex

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by crabby, Apr 1, 2007.

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  1. Yep, the title is right believe it or not:

    BBC fat fcuker

    She's a fcuking state, 17, single mother - more chins than an inbred family gathering and she's trying to lecture about safe sex.

    The only way sex would be safe with her is with packets of flour (for the wet patch) and a full diving suit and safety line.

    Safe sex with me? Make sure I haven't got a knife/shovel :evil:
  2. You couldn't pick one up you virgin queer qu1m
  3. Pick one up? That's what credit cards are for :) (or are you referring to a lack of muscle mass?)
  4. [​IMG]

    :D :D :D
  5. You still would though wouldn't you...
  6. Stop it. I can't breathe.... :D
  7. That went without saying.
  8. Still hasn't developed properly. Doesn't look as if she ever will...
    Would you get your disabled wings for this one?
  9. Why is it always the fat, ugly ones?
  10. Could only have been done on a bet or she's the town bike? Can you imagine the lads shock of hearing the whale is up the duff :crying:
  11. I think I did. How olds the brat ?? :( :( :( :wink: :wink:
  12. What has safe sex been promoted to?

    Full Screw?

    "Fran Birch, teenage pregnancy coordinator, said: "We're very pleased our rates have come down, because we've always been the highest area in the South West for teenage conceptions"

    That is simply because no-one wants to shag a pig!
  13. Bet there was some frantic counting on fingers when the news broke. :D
  14. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Swindon? Swindon? I was in Swindon some time ago, and had partaken of a little light refreshment. I had espied a slender and svelte goddess, with flaxen hair and flawless skin. Breasts like small melons, and lips like ripe cherries, ( I was in a fruity mood). We danced sublimely, the envy of all in the club. We talked of light yet sophisticated matters, her soft laugh akin to an angel whispering. She was erudite, beautiful and had exquisite taste. We strolled hand-in hand to her bijou and trendy apartment where we fell into each other's arms in the moonlight and made soft, gentle and passionate love all night.
    When I awoke in the morning, it was clear that witchcraft had been used. The bed was stained and smelly, the dingy flat was run-down and shabby and the delicate beauty beside me had been substituted by a very larg, and very ugly hag, who dribbled as she snored - and not just from her mouth! I grabbed my lucky charm, and used the magic words " taxi, pleeeaaasssse!) into it, then with the aid of my magic credit card I made good my escape.
    Moral; beware of the hopgoblins in Swindon. They can mask your sight and befuddle your mind.
  15. Even I wouldn't go near that beast.