Technical Advice

#1
Is there a highly skilled REME vehicle technician available in this forum who could possibly advise me on this problem?

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been having an affair. The usual signs... the phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has got out of one around the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi?

I once picked up her mobile, just to see what time it was. She went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again so I decided to really check up on her. I was going to park my 2007 Honda Super Blackbird in front of the garage and hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my motorbike, that I noticed the rocker covers on the engine seemed to be leaking some oil.

Is this something I could sort out myself, or should I take it back to the dealer for repair under warranty?

Thanks.
 
#2
You should definetly take it back for repair under warranty. Has the warranty on the wife run out yet? If it has it may be more cost effective to trade her in for a newer model that doesn't wander so much :D
 
#3
I think they could both do with a good servicing mate. Just check when they were last lubed up.
 
#5
A little oil leak ? nothing to loose any sleep over. BTW try doing a last parade service on the wife, her dip stick may show that she had more than a Quart Added before hand.
 
#6
gallahad said:
A little oil leak ? nothing to loose any sleep over. BTW try doing a last parade service on the wife, her dip stick may show that she had more than a Quart Added before hand.
I agree, nothing to worry about. Remeber the female engine burns man oil regularly. Dip it with the biggest stick you can and top up on a regular basis. Good luck with the warranty on your bike, if all else fails, sell wife and get new bike.
 
#7
ece69c said:
Is there a highly skilled REME vehicle technician available in this forum who could possibly advise me on this problem?

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been having an affair. The usual signs... the phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has got out of one around the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi?

I once picked up her mobile, just to see what time it was. She went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again so I decided to really check up on her. I was going to park my 2007 Honda Super Blackbird in front of the garage and hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my motorbike, that I noticed the rocker covers on the engine seemed to be leaking some oil.

Is this something I could sort out myself, or should I take it back to the dealer for repair under warranty?

Thanks.
:D Brilliant Mick, just brilliant. I remember you Whert btw, pm me!!
 
#8
Is she an import?

Far eastern?

Service History?

Dating site?

Might have a worn ring or are you having piston problems, either way, a good silicon based lube will lower the co-efficient of friction.

Has your bike been around the block?

What about the position?

I guess if you mention pillion that'll open an entire can of worms!!!
 
#9
Not sorted that bike out yet Anne?.. no, not the Honda :D

A pint in the Brams in July mate...Ta!
 
#11
craftsmanx said:
If I was in your position (no pun intended) I'd ask a VM(B) to call round and ensure that both the wife and the bike get a good servicing.
Or ask proper man round then like an A mech. The B mech might squat everywhere and the place will stink of p*ss. :twisted:
 
#13
the_man_in_the_corner said:
The_IRON said:
craftsmanx said:
If I was in your position (no pun intended) I'd ask a VM(B) to call round and ensure that both the wife and the bike get a good servicing.
Or ask proper man round then like an A mech. The B mech might squat everywhere and the place will stink of p*ss. :twisted:
As you would know, you trained as one. :wink:
SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I was young, immature and they paid me well :wink:
 
#14
The_IRON said:
the_man_in_the_corner said:
The_IRON said:
craftsmanx said:
If I was in your position (no pun intended) I'd ask a VM(B) to call round and ensure that both the wife and the bike get a good servicing.
Or ask proper man round then like an A mech. The B mech might squat everywhere and the place will stink of p*ss. :twisted:
As you would know, you trained as one. :wink:
SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I was young, immature and they paid me well :wink:
Ok mate, i wont let any one know. :wink:

Now back to the question trade it in and get an R1.
 
#15
Thank you Gentlemen for all the good advice, your kind concern has touched my heart.

Be at the Bramshill Hunt public house Arborfield Garrison (well, what's left of it) on 20 Jul 2007 at 14:00 and a half of lager shandy will be yours. Beware "The Apprentices."

Special thanks to Phil G - no hiding place, and to Al K for getting in touch.

I'd also like to thank the Arrse moderators, my production crew, script writers and the stunt team. Without them none of this would have been possible. Many many thanks to my sponsor, Honda.
 
#16
ece69c said:
Thank you Gentlemen for all the good advice, your kind concern has touched my heart.

Be at the Bramshill Hunt public house Arborfield Garrison (well, what's left of it) on 20 Jul 2007 at 14:00 and a half of lager shandy will be yours. Beware "The Apprentices."

Special thanks to Phil G - no hiding place, and to Al K for getting in touch.

I'd also like to thank the Arrse moderators, my production crew, script writers and the stunt team. Without them none of this would have been possible. Special thanks to my sponsor Honda.
Your not going to make it down for Corp Weekend then :?
 
#17
When and where's that then Mate?

Do they let Eces in?

Please note I have an allergy to Bordon, it brings me out in a rash of fear.
 
#18
ece69c said:
When and where's that then Mate?

Do they let Eces in?

Please note I have an allergy to Bordon, it brings me out in a rash of fear.
At Arborfield weekend of 6-8 July I believe, Football Rugby etc and living in tents. Should be a good weekend.
 
#19
"Football Rugby etc and living in tents."

Well that sounds like fun Sir.

Unless Pink Floyd are live on stage I might just give a miss, or be in a coma and unable to attend. Sadly.

(No, I'm not telling you how to do it.)
 
#20
Im sure we can get some hotels for you old Techs though mate, was a bit shocked when the tent city thing was mentioned. I have a cunning plan to make sure I go back to the right tent when Im p*ssed on the Friday night so I dont end up in some big hairy Recy Mechs bed... Ill take one of those 12x12s with me. Wil sneek in the mess for the 70p a pint sketch though :wink:
 

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