Tears of a hard man (all your fault!)

Any help would be greatly appreciated as I mean just look at the name of the thread above.
What in heaven's name did you call the thread? Must have been pretty juicy. :?
 
It's just a shame it was only attempted suicide, the quivering little clitoris
 
He's more of a ginger mong chops batting for the other side
 
Oi you ****!
That's my plan.
You've managed 99.75 years of excess alcohol, when are you going to start looking for a woman?
 
I think I'll have to purchase a little Filipino Ting Tong.

But QC it to check its a genuine female and not a heshe
I'm suire I knew a Ting-Tong when I was in school...


the name rings a bell.
 

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
I believe Arrse should respond to this cry for help.

In future, do not refer to the suicidal one as the "fat ginger bastard".

A more responsible way is to refer to him as the "corpulent ochre coiffured vagina".

We should be more caring and compassionate to the distressed.

Wordsmith :twisted:
 
I'm suire I knew a Ting-Tong when I was in school...


the name rings a bell.
I knew her brother, Quasimodo, towering bloke, had the clappers, always pulling his rope, got the hump, had tinnitus, said it was like a constant ringing in his ears. ....I know...I'LL get me hat.....TAXI!
 
I believe Arrse should respond to this cry for help.

In future, do not refer to the suicidal one as the "fat ginger bastard".

A more responsible way is to refer to him as the "corpulent ochre coiffured vagina".

We should be more caring and compassionate to the distressed.

Wordsmith :twisted:
The vertically challenged, follicle-impaired, umber-hued, humour-missing narcissistic recidivist of low intelligence?
 

ancient

War Hero
Oooooooooh. Someone's touched a nerve.

Say "sorry" whoever it was to whoever it is.

Tears before bedtime I think.

Oh well. Never mind.
 
I'm suire I knew a Ting-Tong when I was in school...


the name rings a bell.
I think you'll find that was Tinkerbell.
Did you live up a Christmas tree?
 
I think you'll find that was Tinkerbell.
Did you live up a Christmas tree?
No, i knew tinkerbell when I was in college (true dit)
 
You lot are right nasty bastards. The guy needs help FFS.

So, whomever you are, ignore them and follow these easy steps:

1. Locate the OFF switch on whichever device you use to connect to the internet. It is almost certainly the same button you used to turn it on. Press it again and all the nasty people out there in make believe land will disappear instantly.

2. Feel your way around the walls of your room. You should find some fabric hanging vertically (that is from up near the ceiling towards the floor). These are called curtains. You will find a gap in the middle. Put your hands in the gap and move the two bits of fabric apart. The room will flood with light (assuming you are doing this roughly between the time The Tweenies come on television and when they go off again so use this as a familiar reference). This light will be brighter than the 40W bulb you are used to but don’t be alarmed, it’s a naturally occurring phenomenon called daylight. If it is around the time Love Island is on there won’t be any daylight but it will happen tomorrow at Tweenies time. This pattern repeats 7 times between each of your giro/ disability payments.

3. Continue around the walls and you will find a wooden panel set into the wall. It will be a bit taller than you and about 8 times wider than your shoulders. This device is called a door. About half way down will be either a knob or a lever. If it is knob, rotate it or if a lever, push it down. The panel will then swing either towards or away from you to reveal an area best described as outside your normal sphere of experience.

4. You may encounter a staircase. You should go downwards at which point you may find another door. Proceed as above. This time the door will reveal yet more daylight and an odd smell called fresh air. Proceed into the area of light / fresh air and congratulate yourself on your first interaction with the outside world.

5. You may encounter organisms similar in design to yourself. These are referred to collectively as other people. They come in two basic formats, men who have bulges in the front of their trousers and women who have bulges in the back of their trousers and the front of their jumpers. These will all vary in size but as a rough comparison, your jumper and back of trousers will be much bigger than most, and the front of your trousers will be smaller than everyone.

In the next instalment we will look at how you can meaningfully interact with other people.

Happy to help.
 

L1A1 2

Old-Salt
It's just a shame it was only attempted suicide, the quivering little clitoris
Forget the rest of the post, the bold bit is somewhat interesting :) anyway back on track, wonder when Cody / Craig last saw one.......he wore camo gear, he bulled shoes, he is one of you.
dichead.jpg
 
Forget the rest of the post, the bold bit is somewhat interesting :) anyway back on track, wonder when Cody / Craig last saw one.......he wore camo gear, he bulled shoes, he is one of you.View attachment 445256
I think he's "one of them" not to be confused with "Them"
 

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