Teaching a spouse to drive

#1
Don't do it. Not worth it. Not even slightly.

Not even for 15 blowjobs a month is the fear, stress and her having a fcuking go at you for offering the slightest bit of advice worth it.

Buy her a bus pass.
 
#2
Bad experience, Crabby? Do tell.... :D
 
#5
The thought alone stresses me out
 
#6
I've had this discussion with Mrs HLM. It ended up as a 'No, I'm not teaching you to drive'. Simply because despite being asked to teach her to drive, I know the first time I try to issue an instruction it will end up with the obligatory 'don't you speak to me like I'm one of your soldiers'!!!!!

However I've settled with the sitting in the car with her while she pottles around vacant airfields/car parks.
 
#7
sure way to a divorce is to teach other half to drive...even worse is a daughter of other half as she thinks she knows it all and is in the class of a Sunday driver but can tell you what shops have a sale on!
 
#8
Get yourself a Merc bonnet emblem mount it on your bonnet and tell her to use it as a set of sights for aiming the vehicle in desired direction.
 
#9
Ugh, it's horrible! My poor car, every time she jumps off the clutch, stops with the handbrake, tries to go with the handbrake I just want to beast the feck out of her for making the same mistakes!

Horrible. Let her wreck someone elses car/nerves/relationship!
 
#10
I taught an ex how to drive which is why she is an ex.
 
#11
Agreed. Not even slightly worth it.

Pay some other poor sod to do it.

Oh and when s/he finally gets to drive your car?

Shutthefuckup and just suffer until the journey is over, no matter what the newly minted driver does, stalls, grind the edges off the gears, indicate the wrong way, stalls again, bounce off the curb, miss the red light, stall AGAIN etc etc just keep your gob shut.

Shudder!
 
#12
fatsplasher said:
Get yourself a Merc bonnet emblem mount it on your bonnet and tell her to use it as a set of sights for aiming the vehicle in desired direction.
Just make sure it's zeroed to her or else she'll be taking out cyclists and pedestrians!
 
#13
What's up crabby?

Did you fall out with your boyfriend?

everyone knows gay men and ethnics can't drive....fact.

did you show him your kitten pictures to console him, and dry his eyes with your pink scarf you big wet fanny?
 
#14
Blue_On_You said:
Ugh, it's horrible! My poor car, every time she jumps off the clutch, stops with the handbrake, tries to go with the handbrake I just want to beast the feck out of her for making the same mistakes!

Horrible. Let her wreck someone elses car/nerves/relationship!
I'd hate to have seen the look on my face as she bounced off the kerb. Revving the engine to 5000rpm and slipping the clutch all the way into second still makes me wince a week on. I only have 3rd party fire and theft and it worries me something chronic.

Shortfuse - she's a woman, the worst driver of them all. Also used to driving on the wrong side of the road. (Foreign woman, good for fcuking, crap at driving)
 
#15
Best bet is tell them your insurance company wont add them on to your policy
 
#16
No, I didn't teach Mrs FDJ but it's bad enough being driven. Anything you say will be taken badly. I now just shut my eyes and pretend to sleep for the whole of the journey
 

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