The big problem here is deciding what to give the man who has everything: a free flat in London, a huge expenses allowance, a political job from which he never feels the need to resign. I though a personality might be a nice gift, but instead decided on something smaller. The only problem is I'm not sure of his size - 5.56mm or 9mm?
Last night, I wrapped up your birthday pressie, a pair of sun glasses and some toilet paper.
The sunglasses are for your arse, as you seem to think the sun shines out of it and the toilet paper for your mouth because you only talk shite.
Take time to reflect on the fact that many servicemen will never have another birthday because of your inability to do your job.
Hopefully you and your party of tossers will not be in power by the time of your next birthday.
Birthday Greetings to Hoon
hope you've been butchered by noon
instead of blowing out candles
put on your sandles
stag on in the desert until you rot in your own faeces you trecherous slimey reptilian cnut!