Tap o the Mornin to ya! eejits

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Rocketeer, Mar 17, 2005.

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  1. well, it appears that St. Patrick's Day is upon us.. Guess that's the excuse to go out and insult the Irish and reduce their rich culture and great history to a couple of dumbass stereotype events..

    so, in keeping with the spirt some of my personal do's and don'ts..

    1] Go out and say to everyone you meet: Tap o' the Mornin' to Ya..because, of course, every Irishman says that - its in all the Hollywood movies and on the Tv so it must be true.. [ eejits ]

    2] Oh, the Sinn Fein are eejits, too

    3] the old song goes: St. Patrick was a gentleman, he came from decent people... so don't go around calling him and his ilk Paddy or Pat or Patty..show some respect.. call him Seamus and beat the crap out of him after at least ten beers, instead..

    4] The Irish don't drink green beer.. so you don't either.. if, however, after drinking beer your pee is green and not the usual shade of yellow.. go see a doctor..

    5] Irish jokes are bad.. they all seem to end with the guy being drunk or stupid or both.. Since Ireland has one of the strongest economic growths in Europe..one must concede on a serious note, that they didn't get that way by being drunk or stupid..[ hey, you got to give them some points ]

    6] The Irish are, if not mad, peculiar.. There have been two civil wars in the history of the Republic. the first followed the War of Independence and pitted those who had signed a treaty with Britain against the anti-treaty side.. like all post-revolution wars it was savage..The second happened when Roy Keane walked out of the Irish National Soccer team camp on the eve of the world Cup...It was brutal.. father against son, brother against brother.. they wrote books, poems and songs about it..If you want to have an interesting conversation with an Irishman mention Roy Keane..I dare you..

    7] Another Irish War is coming..and its over sports too.. There are two main sports bodies in Ireland. Gaelic Games and Soccer. The GGA organizes and controlscthe highly popular Hurling and Football touranments..80 to 1200 thousand fans turn up for these gamesat the All- Ireland at Croke Park [which they recently upgraded and renovated to a tune of $ 100 million! - no green beer in sight at the pubs, though ] the Irish National Soccer team plays at a run down soon to be demolished crap hole..The GAA in its wisdom won't let the Irish Soccer boys play in their new stadium because soccer is a ' foreign sport ' [ seriously ]..Did I mention that the soccer team has Roy Keane playing for it?.So the Irish will have to play their qualifying games in Manchester or Liverpool or Glasgow , yep, another country!..

    8] there are 4 TV Channels in Ireland.. RTE/RTE2 TV3 and TG$ .. TG$ is mostly Gealic broadfcasting RTE dominates with Irish programming...hardly the multiverse of satellite downloads and other stuff but still..

    9] The longest running show on TV there is the Late Late Show..been going since 1962 - though with not the same host..- sort of your typical talk show, variety show, town hall meeting..credited with changing Irish soceity [ or not, depending on your leanings ]..and they did it without Madonna spouting off [ too much ]..

    So, behave yourself this St. Paddy's day.. nurture your green beer and if you can't have a Tap o' the mornin' at least have a bottom of the Evenin' and before I forget..

    ROY KEANE!!!
  2. Did you mention Roy Keane?
  3. Green Beer? I thought that was just Scottish beer?
  4. I'm sick to feckin death at the way 'Saint Paddy's Day' is foisted on the whole world everytime it comes around. I hate the way it effectively commodifies the Irish people. Green beer - are you feckin kidding me? Not all Irish folk are total drunkards.

    Does anyone feel there is something ironic in the sight of an entire population of proto-Irish Americans dusting off dimly-remembered Irish antecedents and prancing around in shamrock covered clothing, celebrating a 'hard work - hard drinking' culture that is totally alien to a people who wouldn't recognise a stiff drink if it smacked them in the face?

    What is it with the US and this day? Why have they seen the need to hijack the Irish National Holiday - traditionally a Catholic feast day and a holy day of obligation - with wearing green - traditionally an unlucky colour as St Patrick's colour is blue - and pretending to all and sundry that they are essentially Irish?

    They fool no-one except themselves, and insult an entire nation.

    Rant over.
  5. Fcuking well said :D
  6. We all love a bit o craic like :D
  7. One can only hope that, on foreign shores, at least, the St. Patrick's Day parades will go the way of the Orange Parades of yesteryear..

    In my old stomping grounds of Toronto, in good old days..the Mayor was ' obliged' to dress up as King Billy and ride a white horse at the head of marching bands.. today.. that's an anathema.. instead he rides a pink one in the Gay Pride Parade...
  8. I always understood that the 'wearing of the green' related to shamrock. This was - as usual for the Irish - a mark of rebellion as we (the Brits) had banned them on pain of death from wearing green after some battle or other. Rather like Jocks and kilts/tartan were banned.
  9. X-Inf

    X-Inf War Hero Book Reviewer

    What do you mean "We the Brits" when you really mean the fecking English :wink:
  10. Well the Orange walks still take place here, shock horror!

  11. Oh, Paddy dear, and did you hear
    The news that's going round?
    The shamrock is forbid by law
    To grow on Irish ground!
    St. Patrick's Day no more we'll keep,
    His color can't be seen,
    For there's a bloomin' law agin'
    The wearing of the green.

    one can only hope :lol:
  12. Look, I can be narrow minded and terminally moronic as well:

    All Americans are fat.
    All Muslims hate the West.
    All Germans were Nazis.
    All Palestinians are suicide bombers.
    All Irish-Catholics are alcoholics who don't take their religion seriously, unless there's political capital to be made from it.

    I know - let's have an National British Day, where we can all dress up in red, white and blue, drink loads of tea and thank feck we got rid of all our trash, rubbish and disease ridden social parasites to the US! :D
  13. England football match?
  14. isn't that what happens at every soccer game?
  15. Spelled T H U G?

    hehehe 8) Happy shamrocking :lol: