Talk about a way to treat your troops!

#1
BBC News - Katy Perry performs at US forces gig

USO v CSE, What a feckin difference. I remember in the 90's during Op Bolton, we got Emlyn Hughes as the headline act getting up on stage and talking about his footballing days. Oh, also a broken down Les Dennis. Why oh why couldn't we have had something like Katy?

Anyone beat that for crapness? What's the best/worst CSE you've had?
 
#2
I have to say that CSE knocked the other Nations efforts into a cocked hat a few years ago in KAF...

The Brit shows were always packed out - we had Rhod Gilbert who had the place in stitches! I think his opening line was "Feck me, Ive played some rough gigs in my time, but all you ba*tards are armed to the teeth!" probably not original I know, but made oi larf..

The Dutch Heavy Metal band was OK, but the Septic show was dire, and let us draw a quiet veil over the Canadian effort... (even though the Boston Creams from Timmies were a winner..)
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
I remeber in 2004 there was some Manc comedian (tomlinson tonkinson something like that)and nobody else I knew
Luckily I was at Al Ammarah and we didn't get it they let two fly sown to the Airbase to see it IIRC even then nobody wanted to go

Yanks at Doha had Ben Affleck and J Lo with teh San Fransico 49 cheerleaders and Rob Schnieder the actor / comedian

Little and Large weren't bad in 93
 
#5
Perks of being a submariner,no welfare phone cards or entertainment to worry about! 40 words a week incoming only,nothing out.
Awiating incoming!
 
#7
2006 - CSE in the Falklands. Comedian makes a kids talking-spelling toy say 'CNUT'. Laffed my balls off. 2009, decompression from TELIC in Camp shoithole, Cyprus. Same comedian tells exactly the same jokes. I appreciate the effort, but a little change in 3 years maybe?
 
#9
SAIF SAREEA Gerry H and Steps. Best bit was the GOC trying to Calm the troops jeering STEPs
You cunts were loving the steps and Ginger Gerry in the desert. Feel the pain of the boys in Sierra Leone who got Bradley walsh and Cheryll (pissed) Baker.

The highlight of the event onboard the RFA was that some one had accidently connected up the 18X24 to the power and when Bradley walsh swanned on and leant against the tent pole he got zapped. Went down hill from there
 
#10
ABBA tribute group in NI c. 2000 probably weren't bad, but I'm fairly sure they were no more than pretty average.. We all spent the night getting hammered anyway and paid scant attention.

Nell McAndrew allegedly turned up in Basrah c.2001, whether CSE or not, and promptly did a U-turn when she saw the shitters. Forces sweetheart my spotty arrse!

In Camp Bastion, some bald-headed comedian cracked the 'I've done some rough gigs but you're the first one where every fucker's armed!' before that Rhod Gilbert, I think, so even less original! Although I did like his,
Who's in the Army?
(yay)
Who's in the Air Force?
(yay)
Who's in the Navy?
(yay)
What you doin' in the middle of a desert? -You're fuckin LOST mate!

SAIF SAREEA Gerry H and Steps. Best bit was the GOC trying to Calm the troops jeering STEPs
Thought Saif Sareea was an exercise/ didn't think they sent CSE out to exercises abroad, only ops?
 
#13
Percusion_Cap, CSE go out on large exercies too. They came out to Poland in 97 (IRRC), Jim Davidson made a DVD of the show.

We had the Miami Dolphins come out to us in Telic.... they all looked rats up close. Too much makeup, pitted skin etc. And they were all fcuking mince.
 
#14
The Americans are far more patriotic than we are which is why so many big names are to be seen at their shows. It's a big thing to be seen to be supporting the troops, a pity a few of our bigger bands don't show a bit of support too.
 
#15
The Americans are far more patriotic than we are which is why so many big names are to be seen at their shows. It's a big thing to be seen to be supporting the troops, a pity a few of our bigger bands don't show a bit of support too.
I head Katherine Jenkins say on the radio the other day whe was off to Afganistan before Christmas.
Just staring at those tits qualifies as serious quality entertainment does it not?


I believe she also sings.
 
#16
we had Ed Byrne in the Falklands, who we didnt know who he was but is now quite popular, but I recall the Paras having Nookie Bear one time? bet that went down a treat
 
#18
we had Ed Byrne in the Falklands, who we didnt know who he was but is now quite popular, but I recall the Paras having Nookie Bear one time? bet that went down a treat
The clue's in the name, Nookie Bear actually does a pretty good stand up for mummies and daddies.
 
#19
We had Paul Daniels and the lovely Debby McGee in the FI back 96, not great, but at least he went, and it's not as if he needed the money - he did his NS in the Green Howards
 

udipur

LE
Book Reviewer
#20
This was a concert in California, in a stadium. Hardly visiting the troops, is it? I mean we had the thing at Wembley which was great fun and that was for the public, not just the jarheads.

In terms of visiting the troops on tour, we had a CSE performance with some dancers in short skirts so I guess the company thrapped all night with the fresh materiel. Then our Page 3 (non) stunner turned up and we spent a couple of hours inspecting the rooms to make sure a) that there was no split beaver stuff on the walls and b) that none of her other 'work' was displayed lest she chanced upon them and was upset.

She was extremely funny in the mess after telling us about the industry and how a lot of the shots were taken. Not exactly the brightest pebble on the beach but that wasn't in her jobspec.
 

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