TALES FROM TELIC !!!!!!!!! war stories to scare civvies with

Come then on , we have all had a whinge that too many civvies are taking
over ARRSE .So its put up time ! Its been suggested to me to get a
thread going , something all of us serving or ex-serving can join in on .
Lets have your tales from IRAQ/AFGAN /NI/FALKLANDS /BOSNIA
KOSOVO and for Trip_Wire KOREA/VIETNAM. We want war stories and
funny tales from these places . Lets get the ARMY back into ARRSE !
I was clearing a trench line in GF1 and I was stopped about to hit a bunker by someone who saw grenades baked in mud on top of the canvas cover, saved my ass anyway :D
Nearly got bogged in at the crossing from Umm qasr and the AL faw ,
the next wagon to leave the RM landing craft did get bogged in and sank
, the crew swam ashore , when the tide went out the mudflats were covered in AT mines right where i had walked the wagon ashore .
paveway_3 said:
Nearly got bogged in at the crossing from Umm qasr and the AL faw ,
the next wagon to leave the RM landing craft did get bogged in and sank
, the crew swam ashore , when the tide went out the mudflats were covered in AT mines right where i had walked the wagon ashore .
AT mines? Then good job the vehicles sank! AP mines would be more scary...

Two weeks after I left Bos I was walking through a pasture in NSW. Suddenly I saw a flattened tin of shep drench. Except it looked like a fecking land mine... I had a wee moment I can tell you!
Thing is cuddles i had to jump off the front decks of the CVR(T) and wade
ashore to guide the driver out , as we all know the average weight to set
off an AT mine is about 95kg , so me in my kit jumping into the water,
it would of been painless if i did land on the AT mine .

Anyway dont want to harp on with my boring crap lets have your tales .
Palace Barracks 1991
I stagged on the back gate sangar for 4 hours (Yes 4 hours!!)

Fort Whiterock 1992
Fired 30 rounds down the pipe range, the sound was echoing all around me.

Gulf War 1
Didn't go

(What's the difference between the Paras and the Army Mess Tin Repair Corps? The Paras didn't go to the Gulf.)

Edited due to tedium
I survived Blackdown.

Gulf War 1 ... deployed then had to return to UK. Arrived back in time for it kicking off. About 5 hours before it kicked off. Woken up by some bonkers deep south American bleating on about "Alarm red red red MOPP level 4" all of us thinking "MOPP=?"
glyndwr said:
I survived numerous fights in the Savoy nightclub in Paderborn.
I drank in the Walkerville Hotel in Catterick when the BW and Argyll and Bolton Wanderers were there - and lived to tell the tale.

Even had a haggis supper in the White City on the way back to Cambrai Lines. :D
OP TELIC 7/8 - Working with the RAF so after my 4 months were done a small leaving do was arranged. I was presented with a print of a map showing all the rocket landing points around BAS. 36 in total. Within two mins of that 2 more landed within 100m of our piss up. I could hardly put CBA/ Helmet on for laughing/ being pissed on two cans!!! I also demanded that my print be re-printed with 38 hits.
Not mine but I heard a tale from a friend so i must be true :D

Landrover driving through Basra was attacked. An RPG round went through the drivers door, unfortunately severing the drivers right foot, landed in the footwell on the passengers side without exploding.

Like I say it may be a tall tale, but if it it did happen then bejazus, id of shat meself if I was there.
Snatch driving thru Basrah; IED goes off - large lump of metal passes beneath driver's pedal, thru transmission tunnel and wedges in base of commander's boot. In the back, 2 lumps of metal pass thru where topcover stands - fortunately they had sat down 10 seconds earlier. Luckiest day of Telic 6. Minor injuries to dvr and cmdr, shock to those in the back. Not me, but I was nearby.
Telic 5 , just joined the troop at dogwood , after a week or so the troop leader said ''right @@@ you can lead the troop now ,were off to drop off
a HUMINT team '' A staff sgt who had been lent to the troop due to a lack
of crew commanders had been leading up to that point . Well he didnt
hear the boss say this , we headed out of Camp Dogwood S/SGT cracks on
, i think ''oh well will sort it when we stop'' i am 3 rd wagon out of 4 .Next
minute lead scimitar goes up in smoke ,road wheels ,bits of track front
decks go 50 +feet in the air . Rest of the troop crack on into the usual
drills (cut off,FP etc etc ) .At that point we see 3 lads crawl off the Scimitar
the only injury is the driver has a sprained ankle and a cut on the nose.

Up shot of it was , they drove over a pressure pad IED of 3x 155mm shells
it was a bit of a channel/chock point so if i was leading i would of no doubt
gone down the same route . If i went a few CM's left or right would i or my
crew be here now ? I will never know but it was a close one , that should of been me .
Granby, My Tp Cpl jumps off his wagon for a slash, while enjoying the moment he notices a toe popper between his feet. I'd never seen a bloke do a vertical take off before! Much shouting and thoughts of oh b*gger by all of us who had dismounted.
This story isn't mine either. I think it says a lot though, for those at the tip of the spear!

By Jeffrey Barnett
1st Lieutenant - USMC

I don’t know what happened in Haditha. I wasn’t there, and my knowledge is limited to the news articles I have read. However, the Marine Corps prides itself on holding its members to the highest standards of accountability. If the allegations are substantiated, I am sure the Marine Corps will pursue appropriate legal and administrative action against those responsible. While I cannot speak intelligently on the Haditha incident, I do think I can comment on possible causes of these types of tragic events: a frustration most can’t understand. I don’t condone any use of force outside our directed rules of engagement and escalation of force procedures. However, I can understand why violations of the ROE happen, however unjustified they may be.

Examine the following hypothetical example: During a vehicular patrol, you drive though a small neighborhood of four houses around 0800. Everything is kosher. Women are making breakfast, children are playing, and men are talking to each other near the road. You drive through the same area two hours later at 1000 and things are vastly different. Nobody is outside. As the second vehicle in the patrol rounds a corner just past the four houses it is hit by an IED. The magnitude of the casualties can be left to the individual imagination. Whether it killed everyone inside the vehicle or just peppered the doors with dirt, the intent was the same. Someone wanted to kill you. Someone looked at your truck and said to themselves “Those men should die, and I’m going to make it happen,” It—pisses—you—off.

What changed? For whatever reason either that IED wasn’t present on your first trip through or it wasn’t detonated. Whether it happened between 0800 and 1000 or late one night last week, you can’t dig a hole in front of someone’s house and plant an IED without them noticing at some point during their daily routine. The people around know something, and it’s evidenced by the fact they were conveniently inside to avoid the explosion. However, they didn’t outwardly aggress on you, and you don’t have a clear target, so you can’t retaliate. Repeat this sequence of events a few times over the course of 6-7 months of combat. Perhaps you bury a few friends as a result. The same scene manifests itself in a myriad of locations and situations. Your friends keep dying, and you have never so much as seen the face of your enemy.

This is the unfortunate reality that Marines on the ground live with everyday—a population of Iraqis sometimes either indifferent to the attacks or scared into passive approval by insurgents that might easily turn their aggression on the Iraqi citizens if they assist us. I think in many places the insurgency isn’t rooted in anti-American feelings, but in a desperate attempt to retain power that is threatened by a democratically elected government. This isn’t the case everywhere, but in some places, it is the naked truth.

When does passive approval become active aggression? If someone knows about an IED and they aren’t outside trying to flag us down before we hit it, how responsible are they for its results? What are they guilty of if they know who murdered our comrades and don’t tell us when directly questioned? How do you discern the true insurgent sympathizers from the poor farmer that fears for his life if he helps us? Does that poor farmer’s fear excuse his inaction? All these questions lack definite answers. The one question that does have a definite answer is “When should I engage someone?” Our ROE are disseminated to every Marine and involve positive identification of someone as a threat before we can levy kinetic fires against them.

Regardless of what happened at Haditha, I think we should recognize the Marines who make these decisions every day, most notably the infantry. Nineteen-year-old men fresh out of high school are put into impossible situations, and somehow they almost invariably do the right thing. Unfortunately, it’s those rare instances of a broken moral compass that make the news. The life and death games that young men in our fighting forces play all over the world make the responsibilities of corporate CEOs pale in comparison.

I feel fortunate just to have served alongside men such as these. Some have deployed four and five times since 9/11 in support of the global war on terror, and to have witnessed and partaken in the critical decision making processes they encounter far more often than I. Few people recognize their plight and even fewer know their burden.
This one is mine!

In the winter of 1952 in Korea, we were using a road an MSR, that had been cleared by sappers from an Engineer unit, quite some time ago. There was faily heavy traffic on it since it was an MSR.

During the winter, the ground and roads were pretty frozen in our AO. As the ground begain to thaw. I was using the road and ran over a 'wooden box' mine that apparently been there for some time, under the frozen road. It destroyed the jeep that I was driving and killed two of my passengers.

I was VERY lucky! It threw me 20 or 30 ft away from the blast. I was bleeding from my ears and eyes and had a sever case of concussion and some small cuts and bruises. I was treated and released at the BN aid station. I think the mine was the one listed below.


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