TALES FROM TELIC !!!!!!!!! war stories to scare civvies with

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by paveway_3, Sep 10, 2006.

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  1. Come then on , we have all had a whinge that too many civvies are taking
    over ARRSE .So its put up time ! Its been suggested to me to get a
    thread going , something all of us serving or ex-serving can join in on .
    Lets have your tales from IRAQ/AFGAN /NI/FALKLANDS /BOSNIA
    KOSOVO and for Trip_Wire KOREA/VIETNAM. We want war stories and
    funny tales from these places . Lets get the ARMY back into ARRSE !
  2. Spanish_Dave

    Spanish_Dave LE Good Egg (charities)

    I was clearing a trench line in GF1 and I was stopped about to hit a bunker by someone who saw grenades baked in mud on top of the canvas cover, saved my ass anyway :D
  3. Nearly got bogged in at the crossing from Umm qasr and the AL faw ,
    the next wagon to leave the RM landing craft did get bogged in and sank
    , the crew swam ashore , when the tide went out the mudflats were covered in AT mines right where i had walked the wagon ashore .
  4. AT mines? Then good job the vehicles sank! AP mines would be more scary...

    Two weeks after I left Bos I was walking through a pasture in NSW. Suddenly I saw a flattened tin of shep drench. Except it looked like a fecking land mine... I had a wee moment I can tell you!
  5. Thing is cuddles i had to jump off the front decks of the CVR(T) and wade
    ashore to guide the driver out , as we all know the average weight to set
    off an AT mine is about 95kg , so me in my kit jumping into the water,
    it would of been painless if i did land on the AT mine .

    Anyway dont want to harp on with my boring crap lets have your tales .
  6. Palace Barracks 1991
    I stagged on the back gate sangar for 4 hours (Yes 4 hours!!)

    Fort Whiterock 1992
    Fired 30 rounds down the pipe range, the sound was echoing all around me.

    Gulf War 1
    Didn't go

    (What's the difference between the Paras and the Army Mess Tin Repair Corps? The Paras didn't go to the Gulf.)

    Edited due to tedium
  7. I survived Blackdown.

  8. I escaped from Oznatraz. 'nuff said.
  9. Gulf War 1 ... deployed then had to return to UK. Arrived back in time for it kicking off. About 5 hours before it kicked off. Woken up by some bonkers deep south American bleating on about "Alarm red red red MOPP level 4" all of us thinking "MOPP=?"
  10. I survived numerous fights in the Savoy nightclub in Paderborn.
  11. I drank in the Walkerville Hotel in Catterick when the BW and Argyll and Bolton Wanderers were there - and lived to tell the tale.

    Even had a haggis supper in the White City on the way back to Cambrai Lines. :D
  12. OP TELIC 7/8 - Working with the RAF so after my 4 months were done a small leaving do was arranged. I was presented with a print of a map showing all the rocket landing points around BAS. 36 in total. Within two mins of that 2 more landed within 100m of our piss up. I could hardly put CBA/ Helmet on for laughing/ being pissed on two cans!!! I also demanded that my print be re-printed with 38 hits.
  13. Not mine but I heard a tale from a friend so i must be true :D

    Landrover driving through Basra was attacked. An RPG round went through the drivers door, unfortunately severing the drivers right foot, landed in the footwell on the passengers side without exploding.

    Like I say it may be a tall tale, but if it it did happen then bejazus, id of shat meself if I was there.
  14. Snatch driving thru Basrah; IED goes off - large lump of metal passes beneath driver's pedal, thru transmission tunnel and wedges in base of commander's boot. In the back, 2 lumps of metal pass thru where topcover stands - fortunately they had sat down 10 seconds earlier. Luckiest day of Telic 6. Minor injuries to dvr and cmdr, shock to those in the back. Not me, but I was nearby.
  15. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    Pork casserole, 3 months solid (literally). Damn, war is hell!