So you awake to greet the new day. With a raging Morning Post. Your bladder is bursting while a chicken Vindaloo with Nan floating on 8 pints of Guiness is demanding release from its fleshy prison. Do you... A) Sit down, try to break the thing in half and stuff it down the bowl, risking shrivelling contact with cold porcelain and end up pissing between the bowl and seat, soaking your feet? B) Sit back contentedly with the beast alert, watching the Golden Arc stream across the bathroom, then mop up the mess with the wifes flannel? Or is there a better way do deal with this eternal dilemma?