Tactical Nuclear Penguin

#1
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/north_east/8380412.stm

'World's strongest' beer with 32% strength launched

A controversial Scottish brewery has launched what it described as the world's strongest beer - with a 32% alcohol content.

Tactical Nuclear Penguin has been unveiled by BrewDog of Fraserburgh.

BrewDog was previously branded irresponsible for a 18.2% beer called Tokyo, which it then followed with a low alcohol beer called Nanny State.

Managing director James Watt said a limited supply of Tactical Nuclear Penguin would be sold for £30 each.


This is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance
Tactical Nuclear Penguin label warning

He said: "This beer is about pushing the boundaries, it is about taking innovation in beer to a whole new level."

Mr Watt added that a beer such as Tactical Nuclear Penguin should be drunk in "spirit sized measures".

A warning on the label states: "This is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance. In exactly the same manner that you would enjoy a fine whisky, a Frank Zappa album or a visit from a friendly yet anxious ghost."

However Jack Law, of Alcohol Focus Scotland, described it was a "cynical marketing ploy" and said: "We want to know why a brewer would produce a beer almost as strong as whisky."

The beer has been launched on the day alcohol was at the top of the political agenda with the unveiling of the Scottish government's Alcohol Bill including proposals for minimum pricing on drink.

Meanwhile, BrewDog's plans for a new headquarters to producing millions of bottles of beer a year have been approved by Aberdeenshire Council.

The decision was taken at a full council meeting despite having been recommended for refusal by officers because the site at Potterton, near Aberdeen, is in the green belt.

[hr]

Definatley might be worth a Christmas Prezzie :)
 
#3
DesktopCommando said:
blah blah Scottish brewery blah blah world's strongest beer blah blah 32% alcohol
Oh dear god no! Scotland was a world renowned centre of culture, philosophy and enlightened thinking until Carlsberg invented Special Brew.


DesktopCommando said:
Tactical Nuclear Penguin
A new phrase enters the Scots language: Away doon the offy an' git me a couple o' Tactical Nukes. Just wait till NSA starts picking this up on internet chatter. The US Marines will invade Scotland and end up in the same place as the 9th Legion.


DesktopCommando said:
BrewDog was previously branded irresponsible for a 18.2% beer called Tokyo
Would have sold more if they'd called in 'Nagasaki'. How the hell are off licences to compete with heroin dealers if they cant sell the stuff the doctor rubs your arm with before giving you an injection?


DesktopCommando said:
Managing director James Watt said a limited supply of Tactical Nuclear Penguin would be sold for £30 each.
Scottish Certificate of Education Standard Grade Mathematics 2010, Question 1: Senga is 14, pregnant and lives in Springburn. How many cans of Tactical Nuke can her current boyfriend buy with her maternity grant? Assume neither Senga nor her boyfriend are asylum seekers.


DesktopCommando said:
This is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance
I look forward to seeing pi$$ed winos with swamped trousers collapsed in shop doorways at 0900 next time I'm in Glasgow. Maintaining an air of 'aristocratic nonchalance' while you lost dignity, consciousness and bladder control should be impressive.


DesktopCommando said:
Mr Watt added that a beer such as Tactical Nuclear Penguin should be drunk in "spirit sized measures".
In Glasgow, that means half a bottle in the morning and another half in the afternoon after you wake up.
 
#4
[quote="Ancient_Mariner]Maintaining an air of 'aristocratic nonchalance' while you lost dignity, consciousness and bladder control should be impressive.


[/quote]

For generations the denizens of the House of Lords have managed...
 
#5
Cuddles said:
For generations the denizens of the House of Lords have managed...
Some things are in the breeding. You can't teach 'em.
 
#6
DesktopCommando said:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/north_east/8380412.stm

This is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance
Tactical Nuclear Penguin label warning

He said: "This beer is about pushing the boundaries, it is about taking innovation in beer to a whole new level."

Mr Watt added that a beer such as Tactical Nuclear Penguin should be drunk in "spirit sized measures".
So that will be a pint of tennants super with a Tactical Nuclear Penguin chaser...should go down well in some of the 'classier' bars in Glasgow.
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#7
Ancient_Mariner said:
I look forward to seeing pi$$ed winos with swamped trousers collapsed in shop doorways at 0900 next time I'm in Glasgow. Maintaining an air of 'aristocratic nonchalance' while you lost dignity, consciousness and bladder control should be impressive.
At £30.00 a bottle? Either the jakies are ex-bankers drowning their sorrows or Glasgow's fragrant gentlemen are suddenly much, much better off.
 
#8
Sixty said:
Ancient_Mariner said:
I look forward to seeing pi$$ed winos with swamped trousers collapsed in shop doorways at 0900 next time I'm in Glasgow. Maintaining an air of 'aristocratic nonchalance' while you lost dignity, consciousness and bladder control should be impressive.
At £30.00 a bottle? Either the jakies are ex-bankers drowning their sorrows or Glasgow's fragrant gentleman are suddenly much, much better off.
This 'tourist guide' explains how they could perhaps afford it...

The next time you find yourself in need of an 'extreme sports' style challenge why not visit your local DSS caller office for a once in a lifetime and never to be forgotten experience. Firstly, as you enter, you would think you had visited your local brewery due to the strong smell of alcohol in the air. However, you are in the 'Bank of Free Money' where everybody who doesn't deserve to get paid does. You'll be wondering why there are so many people waiting about so early in the morning. Well, these people are called 'Personal Issue' mainly because it has become too great a risk to issue benefit order books or postal giro cheques to them because they cash them then pretend they lost their payments and try to get another.

When it's time to pay out, a swarm of tracksuit wearing locusts descend to claim their dosh; a line of pretend single parents; people incapable of working due to illness or disability but amazingly able to commit crime - the line is endless. Maybe you are wondering, as you look on, how these people can afford designer clothing or have more gold jewellery that Mr.T.. The answer is simple - the tax payer is financing it.
 
#9
doc80905 said:
The next time you find yourself in need of an 'extreme sports' style challenge why not visit your local DSS caller office for a once in a lifetime and never to be forgotten experience. Firstly, as you enter, you would think you had visited your local brewery due to the strong smell of alcohol in the air. However, you are in the 'Bank of Free Money' where everybody who doesn't deserve to get paid does. You'll be wondering why there are so many people waiting about so early in the morning. Well, these people are called 'Personal Issue' mainly because it has become too great a risk to issue benefit order books or postal giro cheques to them because they cash them then pretend they lost their payments and try to get another.

When it's time to pay out, a swarm of tracksuit wearing locusts descend to claim their dosh; a line of pretend single parents; people incapable of working due to illness or disability but amazingly able to commit crime - the line is endless. Maybe you are wondering, as you look on, how these people can afford designer clothing or have more gold jewellery that Mr.T.. The answer is simple - the tax payer is financing it.
Love the quote :)
 

cpunk

LE
Moderator
#11
As a home brewer, it strikes me that the quantity of sugars of one sort or another needed to make a beer this strong must be pretty fcuking serious. Hard to imagine what it would taste like...
 
#12
cpunk said:
As a home brewer, it strikes me that the quantity of sugars of one sort or another needed to make a beer this strong must be pretty fcuking serious. Hard to imagine what it would taste like...
It's produced in Scotland and taste is not high on the list of priorities for your average jock!!
 
#13
billybongo said:
cpunk said:
As a home brewer, it strikes me that the quantity of sugars of one sort or another needed to make a beer this strong must be pretty fcuking serious. Hard to imagine what it would taste like...
It's produced in Scotland and taste is not high on the list of priorities for your average jock!!

Ooooh you shilpit wee nyaff!
 
#14
Cuddles said:
billybongo said:
cpunk said:
As a home brewer, it strikes me that the quantity of sugars of one sort or another needed to make a beer this strong must be pretty fcuking serious. Hard to imagine what it would taste like...
It's produced in Scotland and taste is not high on the list of priorities for your average jock!!

Ooooh you shilpit wee nyaff!
Fuck my old boots - either someone's fucked up your keyboard, you're pissed or you're a jock. Whichever, you're in the shit!

And, if you're trying to tell me to fuck off in some primitive language - what's a heathen like you doing in the West Country, instead of existing at home amongst the midges, rain, dour miserable sods, fried mars bars and godawful 'music'?
 
#15
However Jack Law, of Alcohol Focus Scotland, described it was a "cynical marketing ploy" and said: "We want to know why a brewer would produce a beer almost as strong as whisky."

Err, so why do they produce whisky then? I was going to end with "Tosser" but refrained as this is not the NAAFI.
 
#16
we had a scottish drunk who used yo hang out at the hostel reception swearing at the staff we had no idea what the hell he was saying .
so he amused himself no end also used to abuse any coppers who came in who'd just look at him a bit odd.
Until two glaswegian CID officers turned up to pick up a resident "tip if you going to try to kill someone and then leg it don't try to claim benefits while on the run :evil: "
sandy starts his routine and the female copper nearly bites his head off major jockinese rifting ensures :twisted:
 

cpunk

LE
Moderator
#17
This has potential as one of the ingredients of a Scottish 'Grand Slam' night out. Deep fried haggis in batter; chips; deep fried Mars bar for pudding; couple of pints of Tactical Nuclear Penguin*. I think you could pretty much guarantee that you would throw up, piss and shit yourself, followed by your heart and liver spontaneously combusting. A good evening out... we'll have to ask Auld_Yin how it goes.


*Probably soon to be known as 'Tacky'.
 
#19
Better than that Penquin stuff in the Falklands, even Porton Down on a nasty day couldn't do worse.
 
#20
cpunk said:
This has potential as one of the ingredients of a Scottish 'Grand Slam' night out. Deep fried haggis in batter; chips; deep fried Mars bar for pudding; couple of pints of Tactical Nuclear Penguin*. I think you could pretty much guarantee that you would throw up, piss and shit yourself, followed by your heart and liver spontaneously combusting. A good evening out... we'll have to ask Auld_Yin how it goes.


*Probably soon to be known as 'Tacky'.
You omitted the "obligatory feminine slapping contest, followed by stabbing - "cos hees a reet cont", the howling at the moon in some godforsaken heathen accent, making a complete cunt out of yourself, then blaming the English for the consequences" bit
 
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