Tactical Help Needed

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by chixwithdix, Mar 20, 2012.

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  1. Right, my missus, as lovely as she is, isn't a touch on a good mate of hers...
    She comes round quite a lot and is pretty inaccessible due to my missus being right there too.
    I'm needing some solid advice on how I can bench this lovely lass and keep it all hush hush! The 'mate,' seems game and got a high reputation of being a bit of a shllllaaaaaaag!

    So some decent tales from anyone on here that could help me out would be decent. As I'm a terrible 'flirt' and just end up looking like a drooling pest when trying to have a decent conversation with her.

    Footnote: I'm glad my missus doesn't know about Arrse.
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  2. [​IMG]
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  3. Inbox her on facebook, plan a meeting, tell the wife you've got to work.

    Lay the foundations for a good porking, or just get on the slit-arse.
  4. A real man would get the missus and her mate into a 3 way.

    Serious hat on: If your marriage is good you'd be a cunt to fuck it up by knobbing her mate. If your marriage is already circling the drain, then fill ya boots. Serious hat off.
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  5. TheresaMay

    TheresaMay LE Moderator DirtyBAT

    You could just do your missus a favour and dump her.

    Think about it the other way around - if your missus was eyeing up your 'mate' every time he came around and thinking of ways to get hosed by him - would you put up with it?

    Then again, this being ARRSE and full of internet hardmen; yeah go for it mate - hose the shlaaag. And don't forget to post pictures on here for all the middle aged men who haven't managed so much as a semi since 1987...Zzzzzzz
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  6. The grass isn't always greener and playing too close to home will end in tears.
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  7. And your Mrs is probably reading this thread and sharpening a big fuck off knife!!
  8. [​IMG]
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  9. It will go horribly wrong but you can't argue with a standing prick.
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  10. I'll bet you bore the fuck out of your mates in the pub every night, telling them how fine a swordsman you are, asking them for advice. "Should I skewer her? What would you do?" I believe there are advice columns in Woman's Own that may be of use to you...You dull cunt.
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  11. All banter aside,it's a loyalty issue. If your marriage is fucked then do both of you a favour and divorce. I believe that if you can't be loyal to the woman or man you love, then you can't be loyal to anyone.
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  12. Duty homo
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  13. Would you like to tickle my pocket gerbil till he sneezes?
  14. Are you being disloyal?
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  15. Just man the fuck up and have your cake and eat it and have a threesome, everyones a winner.....