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Tactical Help Needed

Right, my missus, as lovely as she is, isn't a touch on a good mate of hers...
She comes round quite a lot and is pretty inaccessible due to my missus being right there too.
I'm needing some solid advice on how I can bench this lovely lass and keep it all hush hush! The 'mate,' seems game and got a high reputation of being a bit of a shllllaaaaaaag!

So some decent tales from anyone on here that could help me out would be decent. As I'm a terrible 'flirt' and just end up looking like a drooling pest when trying to have a decent conversation with her.

Footnote: I'm glad my missus doesn't know about Arrse.
Inbox her on facebook, plan a meeting, tell the wife you've got to work.

Lay the foundations for a good porking, or just get on the slit-arse.


A real man would get the missus and her mate into a 3 way.

Serious hat on: If your marriage is good you'd be a cunt to fuck it up by knobbing her mate. If your marriage is already circling the drain, then fill ya boots. Serious hat off.


You could just do your missus a favour and dump her.

Think about it the other way around - if your missus was eyeing up your 'mate' every time he came around and thinking of ways to get hosed by him - would you put up with it?

Then again, this being ARRSE and full of internet hardmen; yeah go for it mate - hose the shlaaag. And don't forget to post pictures on here for all the middle aged men who haven't managed so much as a semi since 1987...Zzzzzzz
I'll bet you bore the fuck out of your mates in the pub every night, telling them how fine a swordsman you are, asking them for advice. "Should I skewer her? What would you do?" I believe there are advice columns in Woman's Own that may be of use to you...You dull cunt.


All banter aside,it's a loyalty issue. If your marriage is fucked then do both of you a favour and divorce. I believe that if you can't be loyal to the woman or man you love, then you can't be loyal to anyone.
I think monogamy is manly.

I would never cheat on my mrs-that is weak.

That's how I feel. Perhaps the OP was bullied by his mum and now needs to assert his masculinity by being a dick to the person closest to him.

Each to his own though eh?

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