Sympathetic Pregnancy Symptoms

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cutaway, Mar 7, 2005.

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  1. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    I was going to post this in the cuddly side of the site, but as I never look there myself I thought I might get a better response from the wider readership.

    The idea of blokes getting morning sickness, mood swings, back pains et al just didn't ring true in my ears, it sounds too 'new-age traveller' to be taken seriously. Personally I've always thought it was a load of boIIocks invented by pony-tailed, basket weaving hippie types, but I'm no longer convinced.

    Couvade Syndrome appears to be the medical term and I've read a little about it, however are there any fathers here on Arrse who have experienced any sympathetic symptoms of pregnancy ?

    This isa serious question by the way, regardless of it being posted in the NAAFI.
  2. Aye PND at actually having one of the wee bastards.

    Back pain, none except at having to carry her load.
    Morning sickness, sick of her whinging.

    As for moods, putting up with her was bad enough.

    Serious enough answer Cuts?
  3. FFS, are the wimmin getting to you Cuts??

    If that was the case, how come blerks have been so successful of the past gzillion years?

    Yet another excuse for birds to try and bridge the gap or soft chaps to explain why they like to watch Corrie, Emmerdale and any programme with Fern feckin Brittan in it!

    I get 'morning sickness' because I consumed 2 bottles of cheap Bulgarian Vodka the night before. (Going blind for three hours is no laughing matter).

    I get 'mood swings' because I want to watch the Grand Prix and the doris tries to make me watch feckin Trisha.

    I get 'back pains' because Ive just moved all my power tools out of the front room into the garage (why cant I keep my collection of blokeporn machines behind the settee?)

    The only sympathy from my side of the line is she stopped bleeding regularly for a while (that in itself is totally un-natural. How can a person bleed that much and not die??)

    I'll bet 'Lofty' here wasnt saying "hang on dear, I'm feeling a bit depressed . I feel our ovulation cycles are in tandem orbits and I understand the female side of life giving"
  4. If that's yer bird & sprog in the piccy, then I'd have let the wolves at them :wink:
  5. What are your symptons Cuts?

    Beebs x
  6. I have also suffered ghost pregnancy symptoms.

    As soon as my wife announced she was pregnant with my first child, I signed myself off on a nine-month biff chit and worked my way through Gregg's backlog of chocolate eclairs.

    I gained 40 pounds and found myself complaining incessantly about how unattractive I was, before tucking into another wagon wheel.

    I also have stretch marks, but they're more to do with my occasional whalesh-its than the phantom pregnancy.
  7. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    I never said I had any Beebs.
    It's information for a 'friend' :oops:

    Looking at the other replies I see I made an error in posting in the NAAFI. :D
    If there are any blokes who have experienced any of these symptoms, (or who has a 'friend' who has,) please PM me.
    It will be kept confidential.
  8. My dad went to the Doc's after being ill every morning for a week - the Doc told him he was pregnant. I'm the middle of three, only one it happened for, which is why we've had such a close relationship since. Even inter-whifflers boxing on occasion.

    The date was pretty memorable for him, it was the morning that news came through of the Munich air crash.
  9. I think the first trimester is the real living hell Cuts, so not long now.......

    Beebs x :x
  10. Same as yours, bloatedness, excessive wind, heartburn and flatulence, but you're not just eat too much.

    Try a salad.
  11. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Good, he's relieved to hear that.
    I still reckon this morning sickness thing is a bit hippieish though.
    There are very few Arrsers who've experienced it - or at least very few that will admit to it via PM anyway.
  12. Have to agree with Flashy on this one Cuts. What self-respecting, red-blooded real man would suffer pregnancy symptoms? FFS! If mr miz manages to pin me down long enuff to knock me up I would feel duty bound to administer tontine therapy to him if he began complaining of sympathy pains. The only pains a man should be feeling during his missus' pudding club adventure is from listening to the whale whinge.
  13. Blokes dont do pain simple as that!

    You lot put ya self through all that agony of passing a bowling ball through a small gap, then want to do it all over again!!

    Us blokes catch our ccok in our zip, then we ask our women to sew buttons on!!

    So stop ya whinging, you lot want the kids, deal with the pain or dont do it!
  14. Speaking from current events (the missus is nearly finished second trimester)

    First trimester: Thumping headaches from the constant bitching, Sore neck from her sinking in fangs and sucking all the joy out of life, morning sickness from hearing her winge all fecking night while those of us who have to go to work are trying to sleep, mood swings from loving her dearly most of the time to wanting to pan her face when the insecurity that is hormone change means you get physically assaulted for speaking to a bird who has been your mate longer than you have known your missus. All in all this is a really good time! NOT

    second trimester:
    Much better. Mood swings have passed as her "Whoremoan" levels balance out returning me to the bliss which is ignorance of the actual responsibilities of being a father. Moral is high, fangs have been removed but step out of line and a swift blow to the scab will follow. Morning sickness has passed and am actually getting a good sleep apart from having to get up 4 times a night due to her reduced bladder size resulting in an elbow to the ribs each time she requires to empty.

    Third trimester: I have no idea! After the improvement between one and two i'm hoping it will be really good. However cant wait to see my little Soldier. Already got him a set of baby combats. Just trying to find a small enough trade flash (is that sad?)