Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by stabandswat, May 12, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Mrs S&S has mentioned tonight that she is interested in a bit of 'the car keys in a bowl' lucky dip. Now whilst I am happy with the prospect of having extra marital relations with consent (for a change) I am a bit unsure about having somebody else have their way with my Mrs like. It's OK for me to do do it to someone elses bird but having someone do it to my bird seems well.... wrong. Is it a case of share and share a-like or don't go there??

    Yours Anon Confused
  2. And whats this to do with car keys
  3. Is she fit?
  4. Ahh, how refreshingly innocent you are.
    I took the second Mrs Fez to a wife swapping party...................... I came away with a Qualcast Concorde and a torque wrench.

    Badoom tish!

    Thankyou, I'm here all week.
  5. the jigsaw and the sander and the workbench.
  6. Does she do P.A.M.
  7. Now the trouble with this is you run the very real risk of;

    1) Ending up with a gopping, fat moose.

    2) Your missus getting a sex god with a bigger co ck than you and better prowess in the bedroom.

    You should tell her she is lucky to get one bloke willing to nail her and anymore is just pushing her luck.

    Calling her fat, stupid and ugly will serve to destroy her confidence to the extent that she will never look at another man.

    It will also guarantee you a free reign to bench other women, as she will overlook your extra activities for fear if she doesn't you may leave her.

    Personally, i'd tw@t the bi tch - as what she is clearly saying is that she no longer finds you exciting and she longs for another mans co ck up her.
  8. you get a set of car keys for your "doris" sounds like a fair swap to me :D :D :D :D
  9. And now that she's full can you please bring my lawnmower back!!
  10. just aim for the BMW and get a free car, your missus can have a free (better) shag and you get the car.
  11. The only time I did it...............Pulled out my own fecking keys!
  12. There's not much you could add to that is there? Mate, the writing is one the wall. Read it. What she may be trying to tell you is that she's already done some other f*cker behind your back and enjoyed it....now she's a bit worried and it may make her feel a bit better and less guilty if you got in on the act.

    Get her to flag up a few photographs on ARRSE (she knows what squaddies are like for shagging around and if she is really up for it she'll be up for advertising her wares) and let the lads see what's on offer and let them PM you. Who knows.....you might meet up with some old mates that you lost contact with....bonus.
  13. Last time I asked you to go swinging, you wouldn't come out of that tree.
  14. Holy shit! You want to get a job with The Sun. Deirdrie step aside!
  15. Just moved near to Portsmouth - again. Been trying to avoid the place all my life but it keeps drawing me back...
    In the front garden is/was a huge Pampas Grass thingy.
    Beloved Son of Mine said "Did you know Dad, that's what the wife swappers put in their gardens so that other W/S's know that they're up for it"
    The Memsahib, Mrs B, is having it removed.
    btw - Could I have really got a new Planer or Sander?