Swine Flu Vs Man Flu

#1
Well half the peeps at work have it. My Uncle Wayne just got diagnosed with it...

Is it the end of days, or is Man Flu still the number one contender? Can Lemsips stem the flow, or are we doomed.
 
#2
WTF is 'Man Flu'?

Do you mean the fallacy that some women persist in trying to spread that males exaggerate an illness for whatever reason?

It's not like a female has ever exaggerated anything is it?

Is "Uncle Wayne" likely to pass his illness on to you whilst fiddling with you under the bedclothes? I can but hope.........
 
#3
Copious amounts of stella always defeats the flu virus for me!!!! hic
 
#4
Media fear-mongering.'Keep 'em angry, keep 'em scared, keep 'em stupid'

The meeja here in Oz is being particularly shrill and insistent about it, prating incessantly about 'public hysteria' (which is conspicuous by its absence), 'global pandemic' (it's actually no worse than any other annual flu, and far less lethal than the 1919 Spanish Flu) and 'WHO crisis warnings' (which don't amount to a c*ntful of cold water).

Can I say c*ntful?
 
#5
I have built up such a level of alcohol in my blood that any virus would fail to live in it & in the unlikely event it does, it'll be so pissed up that'll wanna pop down to my lower intestine to get a keebab.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
Man flu is a deadly enough thing as it is. I can't even begin to imagine what pigs go through.
 
#7
Am still awaiting the first confirmation of "Man Flu" as an actual cause of death....

Reckon I'll be waiting for a while yet.

*legs it out of thread*
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#8
Tikka said:
Am still awaiting the first confirmation of "Man Flu" as an actual cause of death....

Reckon I'll be waiting for a while yet.

*legs it out of thread*
Well, us men are starting to keel over now - and it's not pig flu, I can assure you! In those immortal, carved words: "I told you I was ill!"
 
#9
ringdoby said:
WTF is 'Man Flu'?
Is "Uncle Wayne" likely to pass his illness on to you whilst fiddling with you under the bedclothes? I can but hope.........
Fiddling is for girls. Real men play the Guitar.
 
#10
Swine flu is for girls.

Man flu pandemics come round every 4 years and put millions of men on their arrses. Next one is scheduled for 2010.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#11
BennyBagnuts said:
Swine flu is for girls.

Man flu pandemics come round every 4 years and put millions of men on their arrses. Next one is scheduled for 2010.
I presume by 2010, you mean this evening?

I've got the MIL coming round, and that means I'm feeling rather poorly and may have to retire to the comput . . . bedroom with a serious case of man-flu. The pig can stay downstairs. :twisted:
 
#12
There is no such thing as Man Flu - you are either ill or you are malingering. Or gay and want sympathy

Biped, whilst the MiL may make you feel ill, I believe the best course of action is to tell her you are going upstairs to use the PC, 'cos you can't be arrsed talking to her.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
ringdoby said:
There is no such thing as Man Flu - you are either ill or you are malingering. Or gay and want sympathy

Biped, whilst the MiL may make you feel ill, I believe the best course of action is to tell her you are going upstairs to use the PC, 'cos you can't be arrsed talking to her.
Are you mad? Got shell-shock 'ave weeeeeeee?
 
#14
Well, my MiL believes I hate her despite never having been anything but 'fairly' nice to her over the last 14 years I have known her.

She even tells my daughter "Your Daddy doesn't like me", which is almost true, this allows me to bugger off upstairs when she comes visiting.

Then again, all my in-Laws believe me to be an ignorant Jock (ex) squaddy fcukwit - except the FiL, who is ex Merchant Navy, and worth talking to.

Still, Man Flu is a myth, perpetuated by beings who "bleed for a week each month but don't/ won't die" :wink:
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
Truth be told, my MIL is alright. She doesn't pull her punches when things go t!ts up, but she's a good egg . . . . and she may be reading this. Hi MIL, yes, your daughter's doing fine. They say the bruises will be gone in a week.
 
#19
That vid is reverse psychology to upset women and lazy fecking malingering civvies who believe themselves to be more ill than they actually are.

By pretending to pander to it, they are actually showing civvies and women out to be whining workshy layabouts who deserve nowt but abuse.

If you are genuinely ill, you are too ill to whine about it. This is why going sick in the Army involved a sick parade - it sorted out the men from the boys.

The ability to go sick is a privilege abused by all too many in this lackadaisical society we live in today.

Fecking sponging whiners
 
#20
Definition of the 2 flu's

Man Flu = A rare strain of flu so powerful and so deadly it can only be matched by the Bubonic Plague and Aids. A incurable virus which has adapted to only effect the "XY" gene found in men. The virus attacks the immune system 10,000 times harder than the average flu virus, causing excruciating pain for the victim. Man Flu has no cure and prayers can save the forsaken life of the infected. The often deadly virus is mostly laughed at by women who sadly cannot contract "Man Flu" The only cure comes in the form of half or full pint or shots of alcohol without the vocal interuptions of the female species making ears bleed!!

http://www.manflu.org.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=13&Itemid=27

Swine Flu -- affects both sexes - The common symptoms of swine flu are: High fever, upset stomach, occasional cramps, Tears flow from your small eyes during a nightly bedtime reading of Three Little Pigs, A small curly tail is growing at the top of your tailbone, You emit short snorts between sentences, and an irresistible urge to shag in the mud!!
 
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