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Sweet''Suprise!''

#1
A bloke walks into a pub and see's a old mate standing at the bar and says''Blimey mate I haven't seen you since you left school some thirty years ago what have you been up to''the bloke replies''I've been working for a Circus''really what was your act''I was a blind folded contortionist''he said also telling him''I'll show you one of my tricks''he whips down his trousers and pants and leans right over the bar and says''If you pop a sweet up my bum I'll tell you 1,what favour it is,2,what colour and 3,who made it''impossible says his friend but throwing caution to the wind he retrives a fruit pastel fom his pocket and shoves it up his bum,his mate goes''Fcuk me thats sharp!hang on,yes!yes!the sugar is melting!I taste Lime!it's a Lime flavoured RoundTrees fruit pastel''you cheated said his mate,you saw that,so his mate lashes him to the beer pumps and shoves a paper bag over his head and shoves a Toffee up his bum,his mate stiffens up and says''COR!!!! thats hard!and corked shaped,wait wait yes!yes!it's a mint flavoured Roundtrees Toffo!''his mate thinks to himself Right you Bastard guess this one as he gets his 10"nob out and whops it up his arse and says''Guess this one then''and his mate says''EMMMMM THAT'S A TREAT''
 

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