Sweet Sweet Revenge

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Rapierman, May 24, 2007.

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  1. Chaps and Chapesses, this is a call for assistance. A neighbour of mine is really doing my head in at the moment, a raging female alcoholic who has managed to dig up some of my less than honest past,has decided to try stir up the can of worms.
    Now the comedy bit is Mrs RM already knows all about it and although less than happy at the time, is fine with it now. When I mentioned the latest barricade that occured this evening she just laughed and called the woman sad and that she should get a life.
    So I happen to be in a win win situation,
    however they say good things come in threes.................
    Any suggestions on fantastic revenge plans, if in wonder the latest bunch of arrse was spouted at me in my local, my ground, therefore the line is drawn.
    If any suggestions are in the greyer area of law please feel free to p.m.
    At the moment I am thinking very nasty thoughts but wondered if anyone knew any more subtle methods.


  2. Confused.........try again in English, perhaps?????
  3. Well perhaps if it was less than honest you should put up with it or move.

  4. it was only less than honest actions behind Mrs RM's back, nothing criminal
  5. Kick her back doors in :wink:
  6. This sad alcoholic represents no threat to you and yours.

    Mrs RM has it right. And she is in possession of the facts.

    Any attempt by you to damage this women in any way will end in disaster.

    If you do take revenge, your job/marriage could well be on the line, whereas, as you put it, you are presently in a 'win win situation'.

    Let it go.

    Not what you wanted to hear I know,

    but remember you have stated your intent/wishes on a public forum.
  7. Sounds like you need to go for a long walk. The cycle of revenge and counter revenge will destroy you in the end - better to turn the other cheek. My opinion anyway.
  8. Think up the worst possible revenge you could exact on her - successfully starting rumours that she runs a kiddies-for-hire business might be a good start. Plan your moves carefully, making sure that every eventuality is covered. If Mrs R has an evil side (and sense of humour) then get her in on the planning as well.

    Take your time to make sure it's completely perfect, completely foolproof and completely devastating for your target.

    Then have a beer and forget the whole thing, smug in the knowledge that:

    (a) you could, if you wanted, cause far more aggravation for her than she ever could for you

    (b) you're so much a better person than the bacardi-fuelled trailer trash that you're not going to

    Job jobbed ;)
  9. Fantastic advice so far, just as I was thinking, however I am really struggling to get more suggestive shut up ideas out my head lol, yes I know turn the other cheek is the better more sensible and legal option! So without further ado I shall thank everyone graciously for their support.
    Now wheres that iron oxide and aluminium powder??????? lol (any legal eagles reading I'm just joking ok !!!!!!!!!)
  10. Quit while your ahead
  11. Let me get this clear;

    1.Your embarrassing past was not criminal - it could be made public but you do want it to be so.
    2. Mrs RM knows and is not bothered.
    3. Your evil neighbour wants to gain some benefit from outing you.

    Planning, Planning and Planning. Revenge must be served cold.

    Action 1 - Do Nothing Overt.
    Action 2 - Investigate what are her weak points ?
    Action 3 - Gather information

    Nowadays there is not a lot to be gained from damaging someones reputation BUT there is one aspect of reputation that is critical. It is called "Credit History".

    Find out as much as you can about her then apply for every card/loan you can think of in her name. Use her details. If she should be granted the loan then she will enjoy it. For every loan she is turned down for it will leave a flag on her record.

    DO NOT use this for any kind of personal gain. NOR must you do anything illegal.
  12. Nail her back door closed and set her front door on fire.
  13. Gain a nice piccie (if it is possible) of her face. Photoshop her onto a piccie of some tart wearing not allot.... put them in all the phone boxes you can find, and also in the toilets at service stations.... along with her number.

    1/ Do this whilst wearing gloves so they cannot trace back by prints.
    2/ If you are a hairy bugger, ensure you check the piccies for any wandering hairs...
    3/ Do not get outed as a toilet chutney pusher!!

    Happy days.

    PS. Prices and/or hourly rates should also be added.
  14. By the sounds of things there are probably loads of photos going around the area like that anyway :twisted:
  15. You say this woman likes a drink. Well the answer is simple. Find out where she drinks if you don't already know and get a male prostitute to go with her. Get your camera and take some comprimising shots and then send her a copy in the morning.