Sweet revenge!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by wannabe_civvy, Jan 29, 2007.

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  1. Was lay in bed the other night with the missus with the little field marshal tucked nicely between her butt cheeks, when she let out an impressive duvet lifter of a fart. It blasted my plums like a hot desert breeze. However, she found it highly amusing. Needless to say I was a bit miffed so I began plotting my smelly revenge.
    My chance came last night. I'd been holding my gas in for a few hours and was straining for release. I was getting the arse cramps and everything. She was sat on the toilet when I struck like a giggling ninja. I whipped my trolleys down and grabbed the back of her head and nuzzled her face to my quivering cheeks. The blast was enormous and she was spluttering her head off, shouting bast**d in between breaths. I found it f**king hilarious. She hasn't spoken to me yet today but she had a glint in her eye that means she's either plotting another fart related attack, or she's gonna kill me in my sleep.
  2. There's nowt much worse than a cheeky face-plant blow-out. Whatever she's got cooking to beat that, you are in serious poo - have you got bed-wetters sheets on the bed? You may need them.
  3. I reckon you're going to be waking up with a Mr. Whippy on your chest or face...if you're lucky, if not it could be a No. 9
  4. Remember John Bobbit? i would sugeest buying a pair of cast iron smalls
  5. I personally would have shat in her mouth as she slept.

    Each to his own I suppose.
  6. Women and their Arrses are amazing, was looking at Paint in Wilkinson's the other Sunday with the CDS and she let rip with a ripe SBD, my head's at her arrse level, so I get the full ish, little lady then walks off down the aisle, as I turn round to see where she's gone, another woman walks past me, obviously getting this ripe little number in her nose, obviously thinking it was me who did the deed!!!!! Women = Sneaky Buggers
  7. Fella, my me and the missus have just absolutely pissed ourselves at the decription and pictured every single act you mentioned - the funniest was trying to figure out what a giggling ninja looked like - is that the same as grinning like a wankin jap?? :thumright:
  8. Or squealing like a penetrated toddler?
  9. Basically I was trying to be really stealthy and super sneaky but I was trembling with the pent up giggles at the thought of what I was about to do. Giggling ninja was the first thing that came into my head.
  10. Never had a giggling ninja come in my head.

    A squealing toddler is quite another situation though.