Was lay in bed the other night with the missus with the little field marshal tucked nicely between her butt cheeks, when she let out an impressive duvet lifter of a fart. It blasted my plums like a hot desert breeze. However, she found it highly amusing. Needless to say I was a bit miffed so I began plotting my smelly revenge. My chance came last night. I'd been holding my gas in for a few hours and was straining for release. I was getting the arse cramps and everything. She was sat on the toilet when I struck like a giggling ninja. I whipped my trolleys down and grabbed the back of her head and nuzzled her face to my quivering cheeks. The blast was enormous and she was spluttering her head off, shouting bast**d in between breaths. I found it f**king hilarious. She hasn't spoken to me yet today but she had a glint in her eye that means she's either plotting another fart related attack, or she's gonna kill me in my sleep.