Swearing at Johnny Foreigner

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Sep 10, 2008.

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  1. Having just,literally,bumped into some Frogs and Squareheads in my local town.......
    Can some of our readers suggest some phrases to suggest they take their cameras,guide books etc.etc. back to The Fatherland or whence they came?
    Please don't limit your suggestions to the above.Anything that they will understand will do_Other languages are also acceptable.Thank you.
  2. Sur votre bicyclette, M'sieur. Usually gets a quizzical look and a shrug, but not from Germans.
  3. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

    Guten Tag meine Herr, mein namen ist Der Hitler Jungen Quex, und du bist?

    Apologies for my schoolboy language skills, but I think they'd get the general idea.

  4. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer


    The English tradition of speaking slowly and loudly (or in this case, just loudly) works every time.

    Alternatively, I believe "verpiß dich, Pimmel" works on the krauts.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  5. For the Boxheeds try: "Hey, schleicht euch/verpisst euch/macht die Biege, ihr Kistenköppe!"

  6. Du ist ien Pummel Kopf

    Du ist ien Schlampa



    this works on boxheads

    feel free to paraphrase
  7. dont know the translation but apparently telling a boxhead youre going to fuck him in his knee is the worst insult over there.dont ask me why.
  8. For the germans.
    Wenn nur hilter lebendig war, um es zu sehen.
    Shame hitler wasn't alive to see it.

    For the French.
    Les allemands viennent.
    The germans are coming.
  9. I once played a game in austria, it was a little like that bogeys game where each person has to whisper/say/shout the word bogeys in public louder than the person before.
    However we replaced the word bogeys with "Wie mussen die juden aus srassen" and it caused many outraged faces.
    Perhapse this will send the apropriate message?
  10. Allez faire baiser (pron. "al-lay fair beysey") tells Johnny frog to fuck off, (literally go and make kisses, soft or what?)

    Jeanny frog , the split ars'ed variety doesn't like being referred to as "La Boudain" (the pudding) it really pisses them off.

    Hermann the German won't much like being called: Sclappswanz = limp dick, Wichser (Vikserr) = wanker, and Verpissdich (pron. ferpissdick) = piss off. Tunte (pron. tunn-terr) = chutney ferret, Schlampe (pron. shlammper) = slut / slag. Nutte / Hure (pron. nutter / her-rer) = whore. Fick dich (pron. fick dick) = go fuck yourself.

    That should be enough to keep them quiet at the poolside or in the supermarket queue!
  11. Johnnie Foreigner, you're a c*nt,
    we kicked your arrse in the war,
    you eat stinky cheese
    and horses with peas
    an' yer Mam was a dorty French whore
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Brilliant.Will print off and laminate soonest.
    Ta very much.
  13. Chaps, chaps. I find one never needs to swear at Johnny Foreigner. Simply by raising ones voice and by our bearing and confidence, said Johnny will instantly be able to recognise our natural authority. To be British is, by definition, to be superior and all Johnny Foreigners understand this immutable fact. May I suggest that, in future, when confronted by a foreign chap, one simply directs he or she to the nearest benefits office. Remember, be firm and insistant and he will will be left in no doubt that you are British and will not stand for and of that liberal, garlic eating, sausage stuffing, tosh!
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Votre mère était un hamster et votre père odeur de sureau

    Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderflower.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  15. I applaud you, Mr D. May I ask, at which of our Britannic Majesty's Embassys are you currently employed?