Swapping of Genitalia

#1
THis has loosely been discussed in other threads but not sure its had one of its own.

Picture yourself in bed with your loved one(s) then imagine the ability to swap genitalia for the day.

If you were a bird with a c0ck on loan, would you plate your boyfriend / husbands shiney new salmon patch?

If you were a bloke clearly you would be jamming everything up it and fiddling with your new tits but would you give the Mrs a blow job? would you swallow? would you let her shove it up your back box?

I have my own set of answers, but have thrown it open to the NAAFI floor for discussion.

Hypothetically speaking you'd have 24hrs with each others parts.
 
#2
First thing I would do would be to go for a p1ss. Then have a general fiddle about to see what is actually down there.

I wouldn't do anything to the other half at all. Although I'd probably allow them to give me a ring dhobi to see if it feels the same.
 
#3
Gotta say, I'd go for getting my snootch pounded for about 23 hours solid. I'd spend the last hour amusing myself with the new smells that I could muster.
 
#4
just have to see how much i realy could fit up there as Mrs SD is like a Tardis downstairs, now where is my mobile i can hear a faint ringing sound.
 
#5
I am afraid there would be no sex at all, i would spend 12 of the 24 hours kicking her in my balls, and the other twelve hiding from the lazy eyed psycho.

Tell me child birth hurts ill show her pain, minges are designed to streach and rip, my plums are not designed to be hit in anyway shape or form.
 
#6
I would have to go along with the jamming various items up there while squatting over a mirror and no i wouldnt give her a BJ just so she knows what it feels like to be told "i am not in the mood" or "i have a headache"
 
#8
Maybe I should have retitled the thread better. Imagine during the honeymoon period of your relationship, the time when you haven't heard her fart or swear, when all she has to do is look at you in a certain way and you'll crumble and say crap fluffy gay stuff, thats the time Im on about, when you stil fancy her and are open to her suggestions, no matter how bone they are

No point crabby and some of the other wet soap dodgers responding, they've never fiddled with a tit or a lady part, and noone would ever want to swap spunk sticks with them

If there was a pact where it remained between me and her I would lovingly blow my chick, after all it would be my own penis, and I've been trying to reach that since I was twelve anyway.

After a recent discussion on the very subject I'am still 'jury out' on whether I'd let her shoot in my gob...... I'd sooner she fired it on my face like the dirty porn whore I am :D
 
#10
If my marvellous set of man-tackle was replaced by a fadger, then I don't think I would move all day. One slip and your whole insides could be dangling down your inner thigh - a cough, strong sneeze of dangerous fart and bang! Inside-out...girls are very brave to walk around, let alone play organised sports...I would play with my tits though, definitely.
 
#11
minister_doh_nut said:
Maybe I should have retitled the thread better. Imagine during the honeymoon period of your relationship, the time when you haven't heard her fart or swear, when all she has to do is look at you in a certain way and you'll crumble and say crap fluffy gay stuff, thats the time Im on about, when you stil fancy her and are open to her suggestions, no matter how bone they are

No point crabby and some of the other wet soap dodgers responding, they've never fiddled with a tit or a lady part, and noone would ever want to swap spunk sticks with them

If there was a pact where it remained between me and her I would lovingly blow my chick, after all it would be my own penis, and I've been trying to reach that since I was twelve anyway.

After a recent discussion on the very subject I'am still 'jury out' on whether I'd let her shoot in my gob...... I'd sooner she fired it on my face like the dirty porn whore I am :D
Whaat! You short arm's or summink MDN? How'd ya have a nuckle shuffle? Must be a bit messy having a pee? I mean,not being able to touch your willy since you were 12! :twisted:
 
#12
StabTiffy2B said:
First thing I would do would be to go for a p1ss. Then have a general fiddle about to see what is actually down there.

I wouldn't do anything to the other half at all. Although I'd probably allow them to give me a ring dhobi to see if it feels the same.
stab from what ive seen/ herd from you if you swaped genatals with your loved one then you would just have a large black penis
 
#13
Slates said:
I would have to go along with the jamming various items up there while squatting over a mirror and no i wouldnt give her a BJ just so she knows what it feels like to be told "i am not in the mood" or "i have a headache"
Don't forget the camcorder to record it all for posterity!
 
#15
I can honestly say I would give mrs DD a gobble... but alas no she aint jizzing in my grid.. I know what mine tastes like after a minor misfire during a pretty bendy blowing session.

I would suck me own (obviously)... then again I'd suck someone elses if the price was right.


As for having a newly isntalled beetles bonnet and all the trimmings I would be a millionaire withing 24 hours ... I mean look at what all these other birds get just for letting some old coffin dodger slip em one...

Yes... Yes I would be a fookin hoe!
 
#16
I've been cramming stuff in my p1ss slit for a giggle for years anyway... so much so that it looks more like the gaping mouth of a simpleton...i'm pretty sure (as my last wee was a bit alles uber) that there is still a rogue stickle brick lodged somewhere in my urethra.

So, if i could have a vag for the day i would lock myself in a room and play "fits/dont fit"

As for blowing her off... only if she'd shoved it in my back box first, and i'd insist on snowballing her.... share and share alike.
 
#17
I think that the first thing i'd do if I was given my wifes vagina would be do a Buffalo Bill dance around the room.

Think of the freedom. Knocking a proper, full on Bill with concurrent "Do you want to fcuk me" quotes, without the painful hassle of sticking your tezzies and c-ock through your legs first.

Yep, it would have to be a bit of a Bill for me. Incidentally, theres a bird upstairs in the office who always introduces herself as "Helen, from Billing." In the fcuked up sponge that is an excuse for my brain, this conjures up an image of an entire department dancing around like Jame Gumb, whispering "It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again." I'm probably wrong though.
 
#18
Sounds like fun, but knowing my luck I'd probably swap with Mrs Squirrel only to find that she was on her period!
 
#19
convoy_cock said:
I think that the first thing i'd do if I was given my wifes vagina would be do a Buffalo Bill dance around the room.

Think of the freedom. Knocking a proper, full on Bill with concurrent "Do you want to fcuk me" quotes, without the painful hassle of sticking your tezzies and c-ock through your legs first.

Yep, it would have to be a bit of a Bill for me. Incidentally, theres a bird upstairs in the office who always introduces herself as "Helen, from Billing." In the fcuked up sponge that is an excuse for my brain, this conjures up an image of an entire department dancing around like Jame Gumb, whispering "It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again." I'm probably wrong though.
When you phone them up and ask for a female member of the team, do they respond, "Oh, wait. Was she a great big fat person?" And all the time you can hear the yapping of small white dogs in the back ground?

I understand where you are coming from, though mate. When I first left the mob, I had a short career as a waiter. The problem was that years of buffaloe billing during naked bar sessions in BAOR had addled my brain.
To that end, whenever a custom asked for 'The Bill' I would dissapear into the gents, and re-appear 2 minutes later, in the boinkerly bifters, with my full three piece suite stashed securely between my legs, knees together, feet splayed out. Elbows into the waist, forearms up and wrists cocked.
As soon as they as "What are you doing?"
I would explode at them with "PUT THE FCUKING LOTION IN THE BASKET."
Am I entitled to some form of compensation for this affliction caused by the army?
It might also be worth mentioning that I suffer similar reactions to mentions of Bulldogs, Kangaroos and the expression 'Chicken Skin.'
 
#20
I wouldn't swallow, but I'd definitely take it on the tits. I'd also endeavour to earn fat wodges of cash from making lesbian porn (girls only to avoid getting my hoop stretched by Rocko Siffredi and the like). I'm not sure if I'd go for fisting though, I don't want the clopper to be too loose when I give it back to the missus, in fact I may even exercise my pelvic floor between shoots to tighten it up a bit.

MDN can we book the date in advance so I can get the shoots organised or do we wake up one morning to discover you at the foot of our bed with a film crew and a selection of surgical impliments?
 

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