Sven leaving

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by gedd, Jan 15, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. from the news of the world

    SCHEMING Sven Goran Eriksson is secretly preparing to DUMP England immediately after the World Cup, the News of the World can reveal.
    At a time when the Swede should be focused on vital team preparations, he tried to get an undercover News of the World investigator—posing as a rich Arab—to BUY Premiership club Aston Villa and give him the manager's job on a massive £5 million a year AFTER TAX, plus bonuses.
    Crafty Eriksson—who vowed to fans he would see out the last two years of his England contract—even discussed ways of wriggling out of the job behind the backs of his FA bosses.
    In a six-month investigation that will stun football, we also tell how:
    Eriksson, 57, BRAGGED he could tap up superstar David Beckham and prise him away from Real Madrid to Villa—which is illegal in soccer. He even offered to phone him personally, promising: "He will come tomorrow. And it's up to me to convince him that Birmingham is the right place to be."
    The England boss also POURED SCORN on some of Britain's best known players. He even attacked some of England's team, describing one as lazy, criticising another's upbringing and saying a third was not worth his transfer fee.
    And he SPILLED private conversations with them to impress his new contacts. He said of Newcastle's record signing Michael Owen: "I asked him if he was happy. He said, ‘Not really with the club', then hinted he was only there for the money."
    Eriksson will not be happy either as we reveal what he is REALLY thinking about in the run-up to England's most important challenge this century.
    Our investigation began last July when we were told that, despite England struggling to qualify for the World Cup, Sven and his advisors were after lucrative opportunities.
    So our undercover Arab contacted Sven's portly agent Athole Still—who negotiated Eriksson's monster £8 million England contract—to see if he would be interested in coaching at a new football academy in Dubai.
    We expected the answer to be no because of the pressures of getting England to the finals. Instead it was a very definite YES—and negotiations began.
    On Wednesday night Sven, along with Still and lawyer Richard Des Voeux, flew from Heathrow to Dubai where they were put up in the luxurious Burj al-Arab. They met our Arab at the hotel's seafood restaurant. Sven was in a sharp suit and black tie.
    By the end of the night the two had ordered and downed champagne along with two bottles of vintage wine costing £900.
    Over crab cakes and lobster, they got down to business. Just under an hour into the meal, Eriksson raised the idea of buying a club with our Arab and his undercover associate.
    When they asked which one would be most suitable in England, Eriksson said: "Aston Villa is for sale."
    He and Still callously pointed out that it was an excellent target for takeover because its chairman, Doug Ellis, was elderly and in poor health.
    Sven: The chairman is an old man today. He's sick.
    Still: He's 83. He wants to go.
    Still told the reporter it would take £25 million to get a controlling interest in the club. Soon Sven was keen to discuss his own role at Villa when our Arab and his associate asked who they thought should be manager.

    comments please
  2. Sven should apply to Phoney Tony for a job in the present gobment. He'd be perfect. Blunkett could help with any visa problems and Mandelson would be available to smooth the path into British citizenship.

  3. Once again the British press do there utmost to destroy Englands hopes of winning a major tournament. Two years ago they exposed David Beckhams affair with the delightful miss Loos before Euro 2004. They have never taken to England having a foreign coach and never will. England will never win another tournament if the gutter press keep putting so much pressure on the players and staff.
  4. gazza and his wife beating/boozing antics
  5. Hear Hear.
    Remember NOTW is The Scum on Sunday. Because they are so pap at getting stories, they constantly resort to making their own. Wnakers
  6. Im with you guys so lets give em some shIt back!!!!!!!!!!
  7. If it wasnt for the Scum, Glenn Hoddle would still be the gaffer, he has the best record post Robson for a "English" England Manager.


    Glenn Hoddle has been reinstated as England manager, at the news conference a reporter asked him if he would make anymore slurs against the disabled, Hoddle replied "Dont be stupid, only a total spastic would do that"
  8. Doubtful. The Scum only hastened his demise. Hoddle brought it on himself. And how does Hoddle's record stand up against Sven's? (And I mean footy wise - not at shagging around or religious weirdry)
  9. Pardon? Whats so over reachingly important about this world cup?
  10. daz

    daz LE

    Bugger all, but it will allow the english to trot out that 40 year old clip again :lol: :lol: :lol:

  11. click on the link, at the moment considering Hoddle only managed half the amount of games that Sven has their stats are more or less equal:
  12. So f*cking what!

    The game is for chav's and chavettes alike!

    Find a real sport to follow mate... :D
  13. Example?
  14. daz

    daz LE


    Womens Bowls :wink: :wink: :wink:
  15. Sven record in competetive games is going to be better than thr God Botherer. It is also twice as long in terms of games. In their own ways they are both liabilities off the pitch so to speak. And Hoddle has a dodgy record of an altogether worse kind

    Attached Files: