Supressing impure thoughts?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Oct 12, 2011.

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  1. Due at the dentist in a few hours to have a check up.
    Sadly she is 32,a gorgeous blonde,blue eyed Polish bint.As I'm laying back on the chair,she snaps on the latex gloves,settles me in, and then proceeds to stick her left tit in my right ear.
    Tidy,except for one small problem.
    What should I be thinking about during this extraordinary renditioning? Likewise she knows full well what is going on,and is not adverse to some sexual inneundo.
    What does the team think?
  2. lob your cock out and ask her to polish it with her toungue .
  3. One small problem? just keep saying to your self 'size doesn't matter...' It'll all be fine.
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  4. When you sit down in the chair, drape your coat across your lap and enjoy the earful of boob, Simples.
  5. Get her phone number?

    After all, she's used to dealing with people trying to speak with numb faces.
    So when you come home pissed and say "I really, really, luvshes you" while drooling on the carpet, it's just like being at work.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Do as I do and think about dry bumming her, however as soon as she shoves a needle in my gum, all I can think of is theres a needle in my fucking gum!
    Sadly the prettier the denstist the worse it is, no matter how hard I try the effect is the same, such a waste!
  7. Pop out your stalk early in the piece. As things progress start wanking more and more vigorously. Make sure you make shrieking monkey noises as well. She will be all over you like a cheap suit.

    Trust me you know it makes sense.
  8. keep your thumb over your japs in case you've read the signs wrong though

  9. Having worked in a dental practice before, smash the cunt in the face and leave the money grabbing harlot in a pool of blood. That's just my opinion though.
  10. HHH

    HHH LE

    Just start twiddling her right nipple while saying "I'm not getting a good signal on this earpiece"
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Today's top tip.When leaving Arrse to clean your teeth or some other reason,always close the page,don't just minimize it.
    I emerged from the bathroom to see The Wife with her "cross" face on.
    She says,"Maybe I should sit in whilst you have your check up" Then radio silence ever since.As if that wasn't bad enough,the beautiful Helena was not at work today,so some sort of locum was there.
    18 stone Welsh ex-matelot.
    Fuck my luck.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Then stop moaning, you miserable cunt. Herr Indoors is now mollified that you and Polska Petra are not mainling Novocaine before getting diggy on the recliner, you have saved yourself the embarrassment of having said Petra dislocate her jaw from larrfing, all the while pointing at your flaccid member and the Taffy Tooth Torturer has had a suprisingly supplicant gob to play with.

    Result all round - AND Petra will be back next time.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. I think you're a fibber.
  14. Well maybe he was 17 stone.
  15. Best get the wife/gf to dress up while you're watching porn in your LazyBoy.
    That's if she's fit. No I'll have to pay somebody. Must be cheaper anyway?