Support your Local Whorehouse!

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Airfix, Nov 16, 2007.

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  1. A friend, having reached that time of life where his age has overtaken his waist size, his hair slightly greying at the temples with musical tastes towards stadium rock has decided to give up going out on the pull as a waste of both time and money. There are, he informs me, plenty of chubby munters to shag for a gentleman such as himself, but the well of under 30 year-old top totty has all but dried up!

    Now neither wanting to go without the pleasures of young firm flesh nor change his chat-up lines to, ‘I’ve got a knife, get in the car’ or ‘let’s not turn this rape into a murder’, nor wishing to invest in rohypnol or a claw hammer, he’s decided to become a ‘punter’.

    He explains to me on my challenging him about paying for sex, that men always pay for sex…. in one way or another, be it through the get her drunk method, the wine and dine hit to the wallet method or the house, divorce and somebody else fcuking your ex' in the room next to where your kids sleep – he has a point!

    So having done a little online research, I will be directing him towards these fine young ladies... <mod edit>

    Any other recommendations I can pass on to him you slags?

    moved. mk
  2. for three hundred pound you can fcuk right off.
  3. Tell him to put his wallet away and join ARRSE. There's loads of fat lasses on this site who'll nosh him for a fish supper.
  4. MDN'll do him for a packet of Rolos and 20p
  5. You sure can, again, and again, and again and a little spit roasting too, so I read!
  6. See what I mean? Just mention a fish supper and they're crawling out the woodwork..
  7. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    Funny how it's always "a friend" !!!!

    erm anyway - whatever he does remind him not under any circumstances, no matter how incredibly mind blowing the experience is to fall "in love" because then he'll WISH he'd got a nasty rash instead.

    Try adultwork - www. etc etc - lots of nice girls dipping their toes into the oldest profession.
  8. three hundred quid for a few hours parking the beef bus in tuna town!!!

    no way

    Life in Andover, tonight, 2 x Blue wkds and shes all over you

    not unlike the herpes later in the week, but someones got to keep the GUM clinic on its toes...
  9. MINT absolutly fcukin MINT :lol: your..err 'friend'sounds like my type of scum!!
    Try these..
    'I'm going your way to school so get in'
    'Your Mummy said to pick you up for her..honest'
    'Would you like to see some puppies and get one...?'
    All these are free with slight chance of detection............remember DNA!!!
    Good luck to your special 'friend' :wink:
  10. 300 quid wot a load of bollox - I give this you this link for free

    <mod edit>


    See you in an hour.
  11. £270, not bad - just need to confirm they enjoy gagging, fish hooks and kidney blows.
  12. I fecking awful day and now I've swamped myself - Brilliant!
  13. Voice of experience old chap?
  14. Be honest, you put up half the cash for the website and own two of the women. The house is rented in your mother in laws name...

    Now you're starting a thread on Arrse to drum up some custom....

    So what I actually want to know is do you need any male staff - in house security, test drive potential tarts, pay of the local CID, establish a wine cellar in the basement etc.....?
  15. My EX did not need a website when she worked at Leconfield! (DST)

    Then she self treated with wart cream......OUCH!! That had to hurt!!

    It was a win win situation for me, I divorced her......