support our troops show

#2
Great idea but you need to work on the spelling on your website. It makes it look unprofessional and would actually put me off attending.

If you cant get your website right how do I know you can organise an event?
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#3
Not overly sure about the re enactors though unless its the like of General Melchetts mob. A better idea would be to get local units if not deployed to set up the modern demos that the re enactors would have done. The bonus is they wont look like extras from a Ginsters advert unless its a field hospital and they all can be as fat as they want as in my books they are gods!
 
#4
Bossdog said:
Great idea but you need to work on the spelling on your website. It makes it look unprofessional and would actually put me off attending.

If you cant get your website right how do I know you can organise an event?
Though the general appearance, layout etc., is quite good.

The plan also needs attention as it's presented sideways and is illegible.

You could also give Falcon FM a ring and get them to correct the advance ticket prices to match your website.

You'd also do well to contact the Park authorities to have the event listed on their website.
 
#5
GunnerJoe. A good idea but as this is your first post on the day that you joined ARRSE perhaps a bit of backgroung about you and your supporters either here or on the web-site might be welcome. Just to be certain that this is a bona fide operation. I 'd hate to find out that you are really one of our recent pranksters in a new guise.

No offence is intended, I am naturally suspicious. It's from my past life.
 
#6
Nice idea but have to agree with Bossdog. Also where is your registered charity number? I've looked and can't see it, maybe I just didn't look hard enough. What percentage of the money raised is going to the military charities? It comes across as quite unprofessional at the moment, the page with the poem looks like a facebook or bebo page. Perhaps you should have another look at the image you wish to portray.
 

BuggerAll

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#7
Have you contacted the local cadet units? Anyway Good luck.
 
#8
Thanks for your comments, but let me explain that i did not get the best education and that does not mean that i am unable to organise what will be a great event.

We have managed to create the website having never done this before, and not being very computer minded.

I am doing this with my wife only, we both work full time and are doing our very best by progressing this far. Volunteers are more than welcome to help, we really need sponsorship to help pay for the display teams costings etc. The cadets are very helpful in what they can offer ie, leaflet distributing in the future, and BCOT who are going to design the leaflets for a competition.

As for: is this legitimate? - Yes, i am ex-artillery my brother is in PWRR, the event is to raise money for the 3 'registered' charities therefore, i do not need to be registered as a charity.

Kestrel FM (unsure where Falcon FM has come from) have used the 'on the gate' prices as supposed to the advance ticket prices.

The poem is appropriate for the show, any other submissions of poems etc are welcome if you have any in mind.

There is no specified percentage, after all costings are paid the monies raised will be split equally between the charities.

Lets remember the aim of the show
 
#9
I've had a look at your site and here are some thougts that I, a lay person, had:

- you must sort out spelling and sentence structure. You want people to give money to you online and you want companies to associate themselves with this event - trust and professionalism is surely the paramount concern here. IE How do I know you are not going to take my 4 quid and spend it at the pub? How can eg Aerospace Widgets PLC be sure that they are not going to be associated with a scam? A professional image will go some way towards assuring people that you are serious about this.

- Ancillary to the point above, how do I know you are bona fide? You are not a registered charity, you are not a company, you haven't even listed on the page your identity. A company can be set up for under 100 quid. Maybe you should look into this?

- You should get rid of the letters page - esp as there are no letters! I am unsure of the origins of that poem you put on that page, but it makes my skin crawl to read - it is dripping with cliche and sickening diabetes inducing sacharrine sweetness. That poem has appeared on ARRSE before and the consensus appears to be that it is some kind of 'yank' cliche. Do a search if you don't believe me! In the absense of other evidence to the contrary you can conclude that most associated with the military will dislike that poem. And this is not to mention copyright issues.

- Not sure about that donation counter. It projects an image of an amateur and gives the impression that this is a small fly by night operation. See the first point above!


Just some random thoughts!
 
#10
GUNNERJOE I don't think that it is good enough to imply that because you are ex-artillery it must be all above board. There needs to be proper accounting and a clear view of what chargeable expenses are. Many organisations appear initially to be charites until the small print is read. The saying 'The devil is in the detail' is accurate.

Now if you got some expertise on board from one or all of the charities your events laudable aims could be progressed in a professional and accountable manner.
 
#11
Scabster_Mooch said:
....you haven't even listed on the page your identity.
The information's there, though not necessarily in the same place. Joe's name, his wife's name, their address. These tie in with the details on Kestrel FM (I closed the page before writing earlier, and only remembered it was some British bird of prey).

The writing on the sketch plan suggested an ex-Regular (they can't write unless they've got a rule ;) )



Joe. Don't get disheartened by the comments so far, they are constructive and would help your aims. Before my first post, I carried out some very basic checks to see whether you were a scammer and found nothing immediately apparent. There may be a lot of other people who are wary. You could deflect a lot of suspicion by asking better known organisations to advertise your event - the three beneficiary charities and the Park organisation would be a good start.
 
#12
I'm sure if you read my reply, it says I'm not a pro with computers and did not have much of an education.

With referance to costing, untill the event has past it is impossible to know how much it will cost. Also i've not seen any charity website thats has there costing in view.

If you have a problem with this event being genuine, contact Andy Grove at Basingstoke council. I'm unsure why this would not be genuine.

I would prefer if this forum could be used to show support for what the troops do as supposed to critisism which i have taken on board. I have achieved a lot so far, i don't think many people understand quite how much time it takes to arrange all this, or what is involved.

For those that do want to support our troops: Please pass on the details of the event.

My name is on the website - botton of each page, and in clear view considering we have to be careful of what personal details are published.
 
#13
People are trying to give you constructive feedback mate. I agree that the site needs to be polished up a bit, can't you find someone or a local design firm who will offer their assistance?

The whole business world is about transparency these days, you totally need to declare who you are etc., that information shouldn't be private. Likewise the nature of your venture, where monies/donations will be held etc.

Any venture - charitable or otherwise - needs to have a budget and 'business plan'. You should have forecasts of what it is going to cost you to run the event, potential market i.e. how many people are you realistically going to have attend, your target income from sponsorship, traders, gate receipts and merchandising etc., and ultimately a target donation for each charity.

It's not quite clear what the purpose of the event is either - I'm sure it's well intentioned and a great idea, but it needs to have some underlying purpose.

If I may, I would suggest an event to give members of the public a real insight into life in the forces as it is now (no WW1 re-enactments). Chance to hear from serving lads what life is like for them today, what they have acheived, etc etc., as well as serving as a potential recruitment event (to get them really on board). Just a few suggestions.

Have you got support from the Army/RAF/Air Force? Can they put on displays etc., local Cadet forces, maybe even representation from NATO forces or the USAF?
 
#14
GUNNERJOE. The fact that you are not well educated or computer literate is regretable. Your aim is praiseworthy and please take comments in the constructive manner in which they are intended. This last week the news has show a church congregation in South London defrauded of several million pounds and a couple in Floride making over £10 million by defrauding UK pensioners. So we are right to be wary.
Charities publish annual accounts, which are in the public domain. How do I know that your expenses does not include things which we would normally associate with our honourable Members of Parliament?
A large public event involves provision of First Aid, marshals/security, car parking and an emergency plan. Have these been done? It is not up to me, as a potential customer to check with the Council on this but to you to have catered for my needs.
As I stated on my first post on this thread we, and the public (which we are really) need to know more about you and your supporters to insure that this is a bona fide event.
 
#15
GUNNER I think that Jammy must have been typing his post about the same time as I was doing mine. He has made some very valid points and I think that if you take on board our two posts in a positive way - in which they are intended - your event will be a success. To organise such an event is not easy, especially if you have no experience and I wish you luck.
 
#16
putteesinmyhands said:
Scabster_Mooch said:
....you haven't even listed on the page your identity.
The information's there, though not necessarily in the same place. Joe's name, his wife's name, their address. These tie in with the details on Kestrel FM (I closed the page before writing earlier, and only remembered it was some British bird of prey).

The writing on the sketch plan suggested an ex-Regular (they can't write unless they've got a rule ;) )



Joe. Don't get disheartened by the comments so far, they are constructive and would help your aims. Before my first post, I carried out some very basic checks to see whether you were a scammer and found nothing immediately apparent. There may be a lot of other people who are wary. You could deflect a lot of suspicion by asking better known organisations to advertise your event - the three beneficiary charities and the Park organisation would be a good start.
You are right! I've just had a look.

Still, I think the point stands. Nobody knows who this bloke really is or if he is trust worthy.

Joe, you mentioned that you have the support of the council. Why not advertise that support priminently on your front page? That will at least give you some legitimacy.
 
#17
Joe, you say your brother is in the PWRR. Under the 'What's on at the show' tab on the website you write "The Royal Princess of Wales parachute display team..." If you can't even get the name right it doesn't say much for your professionalism.

I don't understand part of your aim - "...as well as helping those Counties who need help"??

As others have said, the whole site looks very amateurish and offputting. I would have a real concern in giving you money based on what I've seen.

Although you sound genuine in your cause, and I wish you luck in your ventures, I think you may be trying to run before you can walk in undertaking an event of this size and complexity.
 
#18
If only I was perfect and don't make mistakes, It is completely up to you if you wish to attend the show.

No one on this forum know's what I have arranged or havent with this event. If you can't offer help in any other way than criticism, just keep them to yourself.
I don't believe your comments are possitive in any way, and think it could be better instead to stop the criticism and maybe think of the reason i'm doing the event.

Yes charities do say what they do with the money they receive,
but tell how much their running cost are.

And I still don't have full costing of this event because there are still things to arrange and book, but if you have £20,000 to sponsor that is a start.
Remember none of you know what I've already arranged.
 
#19
GunnerJoe said:
If only I was perfect and don't make mistakes, It is completely up to you if you wish to attend the show.

No one on this forum know's what I have arranged or havent with this event. If you can't offer help in any other way than criticism, just keep them to yourself.
I don't believe your comments are possitive in any way, and think it could be better instead to stop the criticism and maybe think of the reason i'm doing the event.

Yes charities do say what they do with the money they receive,
but tell how much their running cost are.

And I still don't have full costing of this event because there are still things to arrange and book, but if you have £20,000 to sponsor that is a start.
Remember none of you know what I've already arranged.
You just said it yourself. We dont know what you have arranged and you are trying to get us to go along. Communication to those you want to attend is important.

The criticism was helpful pointers to increase your attendance levels. We showed you what would and will put people off attending . We are willing to help you but you arent giving us anything to go on. Like you said you still have things to arrange. If you knew how well we help people and had been a regular on these forums you would know that we do a great deal to help people and raise money for those less fortunate.

Right now you are on the fine line of either losing our support or coming good on this, asking for help, and winning our approval and thus increasing attendance.

Heres some help:

Change this:

This event has been advertised on Kestrel FM, Basingstoke's local radio station and in the Basingstoke Observer.
This event has been approved by Basingstoke and Deane council of which, they are allowing the event to go ahead.


To this:

This event has been advertised on Kestrel FM, Basingstoke's local radio station and in the Basingstoke Observer.
This event has been supported and approved by Basingstoke and Deane Council and we thank them for the provision of the land on which the event is to be held.

[ *Include Basingstoke and Deane Council coat of arms here*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Change this:

At the show there will be:
- The Artillery flying gunners motor bike team.
- The Artillery parachute display team, will be there on the Sunday.
- The Royal Princess of Wales parachute display team, will be there on the Saturday. And
- The Imps motor bike display team who are aged between 6 years and 16 years.

What we are looking at doing at the show is to have recruiting teams and re-enactors for displays. There will be a lot for all the family to see and do including the opportunity flying model planes.

To this:


At the show there will be:
- The Royal Artillery Flying Gunners Motorcycle Display Team.

- The Princess of Wales Royal Regiment (PWRR) Parachute Display Team providing aerial stunts on Saturday

- The Royal Artillery Parachute Display Team will be performing aerial stunts on Sunday.

- We will be graced by the showstopping appearance of The Imps motorcycle Display Team aged 6 - 16 years. Great for the kids!

Other Highlights:

There will be mock battles provided by XXXXXXX Re-enacting the events of XXXXXXX. We will have a British Army Recruiting Team from XXXXXX demonstrating vehicles and weaponry, and talking to those that attend about their recent experiences. A model aeroplane demostration will be taking place demonstrating a mock dogfight from the Batttle of Britain.These are just a few of the events provided for all the family to take part in.

Join us in the celebration, and show your support for all the serving soldiers in the British Army.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thats far from perfect, but its better. :wink:

GunnerJoe check your Private Messages (PM)
 
#20
GJ, there are some very clever people use this website and without trying to appear ungrateful for what you are trying to achieve, if you take a step back, you will realise we are trying to help you. Have a trawl through the site and you will see what we're capable off. We have helped many of our own and any event that helps our own is only to be congratulated. You have to authenticate your identity (Via PM if necessary) with the site admin team. Once this is sorted, you will find the lads and lasses on this site will be only too happy to help. There are IT gurus , on here, who will get your website looking like the dogs danglies if you ask for their help. At the end of the day we all have the same aim, to look after and support our comrades in arms. :D
 

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