Super hetero bloke test

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by the_rigger, Nov 23, 2006.

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  1. Since adopting my semi-erotic "Dog shag vom combo" signature block, I have received many comments about its contents, both in open forums, on chat and via PM.
    During this correspondence a startling pattern has taken shape.
    Every single compliment on the brown dog's technique, and most notably his willingness to begin eating his own chunder, has come from dudes.
    Whilst every single commet of derition and calls for me to get rid of it has come from birds. Even Mrs Rigsby who is a super het, white hot frau who can drink me under the table, has shown her displeasure by stating,
    "Get rid of those fcuking minging dogs, you bald bastrad, they make me want to honk."

    Your commets please folks, are my dogs the ultimate proof of the gender devide?
  2. I think its just realised how bad the other dogs arrse tasted and its scoffing it to get rid of the taste.

    Keep it :D
  3. The doris is just upset as it brings back too many memories of the weekend, when she was having her back doors kicked in and had to break to allow him to 'make some room'.

    New campaign - 'save the dags' :D
  4. Your dogs are the ultimate proof of the gender divide, I like them they make me have a swelling, which only normally occurs with Dwarf amputee porn these days. Keep them is my 2 pence worth.
  5. I think the beauty of it is that it perfectly represents a squaddie night out. Albeit the lady dog isn't a fat minger.
  6. So are you saying you would do the lady dog then. Or is it just me that would.
  7. Ten pints of Stella, a top shelf and one of Abdul's finest 'death in a pitta' kebabs and I'd use the male dog as a condom.

    Edited to add: before eating my own vomit.
  8. Rigs - its a cracker, says it all. Just provide me with a link so i can email it to my mates!
  9. It makes me tumescent every time i see it.

    My swollen member begs to be dipped in dog vomit, and if it were my hund, he would be getting extra scoff, for being so massively het, i may even help the little fella clear his mess up.... I've never tried dog vom, but it cant be THAT bad....

    Anyone who says its not erotic is a bird or a raging quegger.
  10. I want the dog to vommit on my ti.ts.

    Then frenchy me.
  11. RTFQ


    You are all missing one vital point: the fact that someone was videoing his dog shagging another dog.

    THAT is about as het as it gets. It allows all sorts of off-shoot het situations. Bloke comes round to fix your gas fire (after you've fecked it up properly with your leatherman)
    "What you watching mate?"
    "My dog, shagging another dog"
    "I know"

    Sunday afternoon, finished watching A Bridge Too Far on VHS with your mates and their wives, end credits roll, fuzzy cut to another recording, brief sense of panic that its going to be that Oma porn you video'd of Canal+, then

    "No, wait you'll like this..."
    "Is that...?"
    "Yep, it's The Kuj doing next door's bitch"
    "Oooh, that's horrible"
    "Nice action"
  12. Gobbling up you own puke is natural for a dog. It is a function of the way their digestive system works that they can quite easily puke up that which they have bolted down.

    If you had starved for days until finding something to kill and eat and then puked it up, make no survival sense walk away from it. So they have no problem eating it up again.

    So critics take note: Doggy Vom & Gobble is just as natural as Doggy Bonking. To combine both is a triumph of evolution and should be congratulated. As long as it is not on your living room carpet, of course
  13. While I take the dog in my mouth and stick three fingers in its smelly chasm.

    The only thing that could make the whole action more erotic and more manly would be a random and surprise act of cruelty.... As it recovers from frenching Cait and dumping its glue in my mouth I could get my dad to drop a paving slab on the little cnuts back whilst we jab its eyes and jowells with cocktail sticks.
  14. RTFQ


    Oi, 'science' boy, there are few things in life more het than sitting on your sofa, cutting your toenails, oblivious to the fact your dog is giving another dog one on your shagpile. If they were to then vomit on the carpet, that's an indication of legendary heteroness. Especially if you then bark remedial instructions the the mrs using the C.L.A.P. method.
  15. Nothing is more manly than giving instructions to the frau to clean up a mess... whilst sitting inactively next to it...

    The only problem in this particular instance may be "pro noun confusion"... let me explain...

    Normally it would be "YOUR dogs just barfed.... get it sorted before violence ensues"

    BUT in this instance, the pride of watching him nailing next doors dog, and THEN barfing may lead to an inadvertent

    "MY dogs just puked, etc etc...."

    does admitting to owning a pet diminish the heteroness of the whole tableaux?