Summing Up Your Marriage in One Sentence

#1
Went out drinking with some friends, and spouses/family comes up in the conversation. Mentioned my ex-wife does a bang-up job on my tax returns now, and my Swedish bud who's known me for near 25 years says, "You got totally FCUKED for 5 years, and all you got out of it was an accountant!" Frankly, it sounds like something I should put on a T-shirt. Anyone else think of a good one-liner to summarize the gaping maw of despair that was their relationship?
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#2
'Feed the cats' maybe as I haven't managed to get rid of her yet.

or 'I only shagged her cos she was a schooly' (16 years old) :)
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#6
It was in a church.

Not sure I'm fully grasping the point of this thread.
 
#9
The best thing that ever happened to me.
 
#11
Marriage is like a car, always requires a service and forever leaving you skint.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#13
To sum up first marriage, would you like to see the scars? Psychobitch!
 
#15
She's irrational and frequently pissed, but was emotionally crushed by her ex so at least she's easy to manipulate.

I reckon I've got about the best one could realistically hope for, to be honest.
 
#17
If its got an engine or tits, you got trouble.
 
#19
She's young, she's dumb, she's pumped full of my cum.
 
#20
Yep. One sentence.
 
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