SUITABLE WAYS TO WORSHIP THE DEVIL

#1
Flicking through the web's news pages just now I saw that today was 060606 and therefore considered by the satanist fraternity to be worthy of some suitably horrendous form of recognition. Instantly I thought of virgins being sacrifice, small furry animals being turned inside out, etc, etc. But I was clearly wrong:

Among the actual Satanist community, attitudes to the big day vary. Rev. John D Allee is the founder of the First Church of Satan in Salem, America, which split from the original Church of Satan 12 years ago. "I plan to take Lillee, my High Priestess, to the opening of The Omen movie," says the self-styled Dark Pope. "Then it's out for dinner."

Can't the worshipers of the dark lord think of anything more nasty to do in celebration of his wickedness ? Or maybe, having got his high priestess all excited at the prospect of a slap-up Gordon Ramsay-style dinner, he then takes her to McDonalds instead ? Which would be quite nasty. But not exactly on a scale that the founder of a satanist church should be thinking.

Soooo ... what should he be doing ?
 
#3
You may notice that he didn't mention what was for dinner. Perhaps Lillee's going to be sacrificed, then eaten after they've watched the movie.
 
#6
You're right, though. It is rather disappointing to imagine the Father and Mother of Unholy Darkness quibbling about valet parking versus looking for a space a mile away from the theatre...then going out for a frappucino afterwards.
 
#7
Eating in the cookhouse is equal to worshipping the devil!
 
#8
me n bee said:
Eating in the cookhouse is equal to worshipping the devil!
Pay as you dine equals selling your soul to the Dark Lord? Yes...I'd go along with that on balance. :twisted:

Maybee Rev. Alldee and Lillee would prefer to have perverted deep penetrative anal sex on a blood encrusted altar, surrounded by worshipping minions while goats and chickens utter despairing cries but it's a Tuesday, there is good TV on and the Omen is premiering - so what are you going to do?? If you can't beat 'em join 'em.

Let's face it we all have to make sacrifices...Rev. John more than most I suspect? :roll:
 
#9
Warrior_Poet said:
Voting Lib Dem, supporting Sunderland etc....
Whats up with supporting Sunderland?????

Really though i would love to see Virgins Dancing naked on the heath around a blazing fire! once you have sacrificed them they would still be warm and so......... :twisted:
 
#10
Slates said:
Warrior_Poet said:
Voting Lib Dem, supporting Sunderland etc....
Whats up with supporting Sunderland?????
Nothing, not a thing, apart from there a bunch of thieving skiving dole wallah's who will not go to heaven!!!!

edited because i was vandalised by the_guru
 
#11
Remember, even if he is the "Dark Pope", he still needs to go through the age old practice of " Movie and a Meal" to get his leg over!!!
 
#12
BeerFun! said:
Remember, even if he is the "Dark Pope", he still needs to go through the age old practice of " Movie and a Meal" to get his leg over!!!
Are you quite sure you are posting on the right forum?

Round here it is more usual to follow the age old practice of "several dozen alcoholic beverages" to get a leg over.
 
#13
As long as those alcoholic beverages do not include alcopops of scottish lager. Drinking both does the devil's work for him.

And eating marmite.
 
#14
Hey there--- Don't knock the Marmite!!!
 
#15
smudge5611 said:
Hey there--- Don't knock the Marmite!!!
Here here,

marmite brought me my first dog sex moment and as such is worshiped as a god all on its own!! :twisted:
 
#16
hallveg said:
smudge5611 said:
Hey there--- Don't knock the Marmite!!!
Here here,

marmite brought me my first dog sex moment and as such is worshiped as a god all on its own!! twisted
Hallveg ,was that dog sex or should it have been doggy?
 
#17
No no no not doggy style, let me paint you a picture with words

me,
my dog,
some marmite,
a warm spoon,

but its ok cos hes my dog.
 
#18
Ok,just checking.
Marmite does have that effect of producing memorable events.
Glad he is your dog!
Cheers
 
#19
Steven said:
BeerFun! said:
Remember, even if he is the "Dark Pope", he still needs to go through the age old practice of " Movie and a Meal" to get his leg over!!!
Are you quite sure you are posting on the right forum?

Round here it is more usual to follow the age old practice of "several dozen alcoholic beverages" to get a leg over.
I assumed that he was a civi! And therefore had to conform to civi rules of engagement!

If your refering to the practice of Chav population reduction via DNA injection/dilution (chavette banging) then yes 10 pints* please!!

* Please note said pint quantity is dependant on: size to weight ratios, facal deformaties, facial hair amounts/style, false body parts, STD's and length of time since last shag.
 
#20
Steven said:
Round here it is more usual to follow the age old practice of "several dozen alcoholic beverages" to get a leg over.
I find that Rohypnol does the trick nicely.

All in all, a really uneventful day! Although, I did have the interview from hell - does that count?
 

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