Your a trooper, So I would suggest finding an armoured vehicle if your a Cav type and lying so one track would effectively cut you in half not only will you die but you will die knowing your mates will have to clean the gunk from the tracks.
If your an AAC type find a helicopter and do a diving header into the tail rotor, that way again your mates are going to be picking bits of you up from the floor.
If your infact a trooper with THEM just call one of your colleagues a hat
Bah, it's an opportunity, not an obstacle! Dammit man, what sort of attitude is that? So you've been dumped by some cumsponge, it happens to all of us. Think of the legions of married blokes who would like nothing more than to be divested of their respective harpies, let alone being 17 again into the bargain!
You are a long time dead. Your Mum and Dad will be tormented for the rest of their lives because you did yourself in. The rest of your family will be devastated. You will miss out on breathing, wining, dining, womanising, especially the whoring bit, earning a few quid, traveling around the world, getting married, kid's grandkid's and the opportunity to bother your kids and grandkids as you drift into senility towards the end in your seventies/eighties. Take it from a 54 year old. 17 is no time to turn your toes up. Have a chat with your Mum or Dad. Sort your crap out and in a couple of days, you will be really pleased to be here.