Suicide MPs

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Chef, Apr 30, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. According to the Daily Mail (so it must be true) three Labour MPs are on suicide watch from their whips, because they are scared that when their expenses are finally published they will be outed as two timing adulterous lying swine who've been shagging on the firm's time and claiming expenses whilst doing it.

    The only bit I find unbelievable is the concept of an MP taking the honourable way out.

    We can assume that J Smith's other half is out of the running, as he has many porno films to keep him satisfied, but who else could it be? :?
  2. Can't imagine that if this is known to the Whips that Brown hasn't sacked them already. Maybe he is so beset with no win situations he is just hoping no-one will notice.

    When these receipts are made available to the public there is going to be a whole feeding frenzy in the papers, should be good light hearted reading as reputations and relationships end up in the bin.
  3. seaweed

    seaweed LE Book Reviewer

    Good-oh, three by-elections coming up, chance to send Gordon Mugabe a message.
  4. It just gets better and better, the "House of Cards" trilogy is now become a fact of life
  5. Can we offer to help them achieve their deletion from the gene pool?
  6. :x
    Quite! Whatever happened to the time-hounored tradition of retiring to the library with a bottle of whisky and a revolver?

    If the cnuts don't have the decency to do it under their own steam then perhaps we should start putting them down like sick dogs. After all the "ceremonial mace" in the house of commons is supposed to remind them that if they ever take the piss out of the peasants again by lording it over us we will come and beat them until they shoite their kegs. Cnuts :x :x

    In fact, maybe we should rejoice they are lording it over us. Perhaps it is us who should start enacting time-honoured traditions of slaughtering the ruling classes. Cnuts
  7. I suspect the same problem exists in all the parties, skimming on the exes is not a peculiar form of Labour scam, just of late they have been less good at not being caught.

    The regular and open publishing of claims is by far the best way to clean the system up, the court of public opinion will ensure they not onlyy comply with the letter of the rules but also the spirit. After all would Jaqui have claime for a bath plug or designated her sisters pad as her main home if she had thought it would all go public.

    Why do you think Mr Speaker Martin has done every thing possible to stop their expenses being published. Oh how foolish to think they could fool us for ever.
  8. At least the old-guard tories could afford their own coke and hookers, rather than charging it to the public!
  9. Is that the new way of saying they're stupid?
  10. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Indeed, it's quite pathetic really. Bl00dy champaigne perverts!
  11. I think it might be. John Peinar is constantly banging on about it on the BBC - says that when the list is published the brown stuff will hit the swirly thing in a v big way.
  12. If Lord bummington of Mandy and Gaysnot McFistfuck cant keep their grubby hands off of each other,that is one thing.

    I take offence at them charging their rocking horses and nappies to the taxpayer.

    What are the chances that this implied suicide watch is the result of some mano-e-mano action?

    It cant be girl on boy action as the Labour female specimens are either all dungeree wearing man haters or so repulsive that only a ex-squadie would go there.And there are scant few of those left in the Labour ranks that could still get it up without the need for three hours worth of prostate massage.
  14. Up to now, while the morality of over-claiming on second/third homes and porn films and bath plugs has been morally questionable, it's not been considered dishonest,especially by those doing it!

    If, however, two MPs have booked and used one hotel room and each claimed for one room each (we don't know that for certain but it appears to be so) in their expenses, then that's out-and-out fraud.
    Bit harder to wriggle out of I would think.