Suicide is painless (except for the commuters)

Ten points for novelty value last night. On this occasion the deceased had opted to exit his accomodation via a 6th floor window in a tower block adjacent the dual carriageway opposite Bletchley rail station, with the resultant Fire and Rescue cordon utterly bolloxing up many homeward car journeys.

Add to that the fact that some twonk in a Saab had - pretty much at the same time - managed to block the eastbound carriageway of the nearby A421 by bouncing off a truck and a bus, leaving the latter in need of recovery, and his own vehicle looking like a 1960s sculpture, and it was all fun and games, and no prospect of a Delay Repay refund.
 
Another of his delightful stories: He'd been out on a call and had a body in the back of his meat wagon but had to stop at home for something. His wife said she was taking the van to the store but would be right back. Having done her shopping, the bag boy assisted her loading her groceries . . . until he opened the back door and saw the 'other' cargo.
Should have put it in the front seat, she could have used the car pool lane that way.
 
Your mention of exhaust reminds me of a book, probably long out of print: "Open Verdict."

It was investigative journalism of the strange "suicides" of MoD contractors. One allegedly died in his garage while working on his car. After a reasonable time, a reporter contacted the widow and was given permission to examine the garage with the car still parked inside. The husband had been found lying on the floor beneath the back of the car. The reporter, being about the same size, found he was unable to manoeuvre into that spot.

Another "victim" allegedly took the flex from a lamp, stripped the insulation from the end and wedged those bare wires into his dental work before throwing the switch. Joshua Slocomb will take note of that one!

There were twenty-five similar bizarre "suicides."

==========

Bugger! Amazon lists used paperback copies for about £3, but I am unable to post the link.
See Post 97, above.

"Open Verdict" also described how a MoD contractor from the Middle East did something similar but the family weren't buying "suicide." He drove over a hundred miles from home and did the rope and tree thing. He was a non-smoker and non-drinker because of his religion. There were ciggies in the ashtray and an empty liquor bottle in the car.
GEC-Marconi scientist deaths conspiracy theory - Wikipedia
 
I read article about a train driver who said that a young woman who jumped in front of his train had the sweetest smile on her face and that he can see that smile to this day. I don't know if this is fact or not .
Needs to clean his windscreen better....
 
Should have put it in the front seat, she could have used the car pool lane that way.
This happened well before HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lanes were thought of. However, the employee of a Seattle, Washington funeral director in was cited into court because he contended the body in back constituted a "person.'

The judge disagreed; guilty
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Exactly this!! My previous relationship was a horrendous one. She was mentally and physically abusive. I ended up with depression and anxiety attacks due to it. At my lowest point I was sitting in the guardroom and considered taking one of the gats and going into the bog and putting it to my head as I genuinely thought no one would give a feck. Luckily I wasn't far gone enough to do it. As an aside, when I told her what I considered, her reply was to shrug and say "if thats what you want to do, go do it". She was and still is an utter cnut.
Anyway, I digress.....the worst of it was the mental turmoil...which led to lack of sleep...which led to more depression...which led to hitting rock bottom.
I started to get better when I took my clothes and walked out the house. So i can totally understand when suicides think they have nothing.

.
And the complete lack of support from so called friends when the split happens. Only for them to slowly re-appear over the years and apologise for their behaviour but y had believed the lies told about you at the time and had only through time actually realised what a scheming manipulative person she was.
 
And the complete lack of support from so called friends when the split happens. Only for them to slowly re-appear over the years and apologise for their behaviour but y had believed the lies told about you at the time and had only through time actually realised what a scheming manipulative person she was.
Actually I was very lucky in the fact that I have some amazing mates who have known me long enough to know that I am nothing like she tried to make me out to be. Her friends and family though, they disappeared quicker than cake at weight watchers, but that was absolutely no loss to me at all.
Funny thing is her family know exactly what she's like and generally avoided her as much as they could, her mother even pulled me to one side when I started seeing her and said "be patient with her".
Part of creatures like hers deviousness is trying to separate you from friends and family so they can control you even more. She very nearly managed it. The cnut.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
A few years ago, thanks to a person standing on the line, all trains between Winchester, where I had been for a wedding and Gatwick were halted while he tried to decide whether to stand on the electrified rail or not. Unfortunately he took so long to decide that they plenty of time to power down the system thus making his threat a non issue.
On the plus side, I now know that you can arrive at Gatwick Station in the South Terminal, travel by the monorail to the North Terminal, stop for a quick piss to lose some the mornings beer and pass through security in under 8 minutes. Obviously arriving at the gate to discover that the Inverness plane was delayed!
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Actually I was very lucky in the fact that I have some amazing mates who have known me long enough to know that I am nothing like she tried to make me out to be. Her friends and family though, they disappeared quicker than cake at weight watchers, but that was absolutely no loss to me at all.
Funny thing is her family know exactly what she's like and generally avoided her as much as they could, her mother even pulled me to one side when I started seeing her and said "be patient with her".
Part of creatures like hers deviousness is trying to separate you from friends and family so they can control you even more. She very nearly managed it. The cnut.
Unfortunately in my case she was successful at the latter.
 
One of my first shouts as a new A/Insp in N. Rhodesia was to go to an attempted suicide. The guy had had a row with his Mrs one evening, got the hump went outside to the patio taking his .22 rifle with him, put it to his head and pulled the trigger. All he did was blow a bit of his skull off, damaging a small part of his brain (the angle was all wrong, it was to the side of his head pointing upwards. If he had put it in his mouth against the roof of the mouth, it would have done it properly). Much black humoured joking in the mess later.
.22 is the wrong calibre , isn't it ?
One of my granddad's workers did the same .
Round didn't penetrate , went round his skull under the scalp and exited the other side .
He lost his sense of smell , but apart from that was OK and back at work in a fortnight .
His wife still left him , though .
 
But it really pisses me off. What's wrong with a shitload of booze, drugs and a Premier Inn?

The beds are guaranteed comfy by Lenny Henry FFS.
Reminds me of something I read in the news a couple of months ago; A geezer from New York (I think) was going to kill himself so he decided to go to Mexico and blow loads of money on coke and hookers first. After a few days of that he came to the conclusion that life wasn't so bad, returned home and didn't kill himself.
 
Reminds me of something I read in the news a couple of months ago; A geezer from New York (I think) was going to kill himself so he decided to go to Mexico and blow loads of money on coke and hookers first. After a few days of that he came to the conclusion that life wasn't so bad, returned home and didn't kill himself.
Are you suggesting that psychs should be able to prescribe coke and hookers?
 
I did my apprenticeship in an MOD contracted factory of 3000 people. There was one guy I knew but only by sight, he was well liked and always joking and laughing.
A woman jumped off the bridge over the Portsmouth end of the A3M right in front of this guy who plowed into her. Both he and a witness saw the woman moving before he hit her finishing her off.
Of course he was cleared of any blame but as far as he was concerned he had killed her, I never heard him make a joke or laugh again for the next 6 months before I transferred to another factory in the group. What made it worse was his work colleagues started to distance themselves because they didn't know how to deal with his depression. In his mind though it was because they didn't want to associate with a murderer. I don't know what happened to him but I hope with counselling he managed to accept it wasn't his fault.
 
One of them was a young tit who tried to off himself after listening to Judas Priet albums backwards. Its what the lawsuit was based on over in the US back in the 90's. The smashy faced spacker lost.
I once listened to Judas Priest, I know how he must have felt!
 
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