Submarine on the Humber

Moment 'nuclear sub' spotted off Cleethorpes pier
I have no words.....
"One resident enjoying an al fresco pint at an Alexandra Road bar said: “Why not? We’re home the home of the Red Arrows, the Typhoon, and the Dambusters. I’m quite the military man myself – I completed Call Of Duty WWII on Veteran difficulty without dying once. It’s in our blood around here"
Plenty of submarines under the Humber.
Sunk, depth charged after they were sunk, many times over by wartime sub hunters, to the extent they became unidentifiable piles of scrap metal..
 
Ah, April Fool stories.

Back in 1981, serving at HQ 1 Armd Div HQ at Verden, I wrote a harmless little April Fools’ piece for Soldier magazine about the Army setting an example as good Europeans by metricating the cavalry and doing away with those annoying fractions such as the 14th/20th Hussars and the 4th/7th Dragoon Guards.

I have mentioned in a different thread that a divisional colleague from the 9th/12th Lancers (sadly he has since passed away) thought it was a good idea and persuaded his regiment – then part of 1 Div - to provide a CVRT as part of the joke. They even changed the vehicle’s tac sign to “0.75L” instead of “9/12L”. Suitable pictures were taken and the package despatched to Soldier Magazine.

At Aldershot, Soldier Magazine liked the idea and livened it up by introducing quotes from an old buffer called Lt Col Legge-Poole, with additional pictures showing new regimental badges being produced - I think at Bicester.

All harmless and probably even a bit childish. However, I had forgotten that the monthly Soldier Magazine was published a couple of days before the actual first of the month, which meant that a number of people were taken in. These included the then defence correspondent of the Daily Wail, who ran a major story about the Army’s stupidity in ditching years of tradition.

When other parts of the media poked fun at the Wail for falling for the story, they responded with a leader article berating the Army for producing such a ridiculous piece and wasting public money. It ended with a harrumph which caused us some satisfaction: “The saddest thing about the whole affair was that it had the ring of truth.”

There were a few follow up letters. One was from the CO of 4RTR, who wrote to Soldier Magazine to say how much he approved of the metrication plan, as it gave his regiment overall precedence in the Royal Armoured Corps.
 
Traditionally The Times has an April Fool; so I had a read through today's issue. The problem is that even if you exclude Brexit, which is essentailly a farce, there are just too many to choose from. The list includes: -
Foreign drivers exploit UK licence loophole [I think this is the actual one] - about how you can get a UK licence based on some foreign made up bit of paper
Careers advice should start at age of two - to prevent sex sterotyping
Amercian teenagers take top spot in global lying table - Academic research
Give the dog a drone for walkies
Military offers flexible hours to help families
- apparently you'll be be able to opt out of deployments as well, it's the latest solution to the manning crisis
Instagram parents go potty for £160 collectable nappies
Comic rides a wave of voter anger to top presidential pole
- Ukranian election report
Truth is first casualty of Serb War film - Unlike Hollywood the Serb film industry might have told a little wopper or two. This also gets a major editorial.

It could make a sane person dispair, but fortunately I'm as nutty as a fruitcake so roll on tomorrow and more of the wild and idiotic activities of Homo "Sapiens".
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
Flippin' Heck! Plans for 'Sausage of the North' sculpture NOT an April Fool and company appeals for engineers

Now bugger me sideways until August, Heck insist it is not a 1 April thing. Now the last thing Bedale needs is a huge object that could equally be a sausage or a penis. Its only a matter of time before someone will put a purple helmet on it. My mate wants to know from the engineers how to to that....Just askin

Now, in these days of political correctness, is it sensible to erect (fnarr) a 60 m pork product? Does it state the actual contents - steel with 60% non-meat products? Who in their right mind would want to go up a 60 m cock shaped tower (OK belay that I know many from arrse that would. Some would try and sit on it. Not all of them female)

Sausages and for that matter todgers, are not pretty things. Although I quite like mine, but pretty it is not. The ridicule we will get from putting this thing up will not be worth it. maybe the tourist industry might make some benefit (Look Ma, this is Mavis at the top of the Yorkshire knob!) but it is fundamentally wrong.
 
Flippin' Heck! Plans for 'Sausage of the North' sculpture NOT an April Fool and company appeals for engineers

Now bugger me sideways until August, Heck insist it is not a 1 April thing. Now the last thing Bedale needs is a huge object that could equally be a sausage or a penis. Its only a matter of time before someone will put a purple helmet on it. My mate wants to know from the engineers how to to that....Just askin

Now, in these days of political correctness, is it sensible to erect (fnarr) a 60 m pork product? Does it state the actual contents - steel with 60% non-meat products? Who in their right mind would want to go up a 60 m cock shaped tower (OK belay that I know many from arrse that would. Some would try and sit on it. Not all of them female)

Sausages and for that matter todgers, are not pretty things. Although I quite like mine, but pretty it is not. The ridicule we will get from putting this thing up will not be worth it. maybe the tourist industry might make some benefit (Look Ma, this is Mavis at the top of the Yorkshire knob!) but it is fundamentally wrong.
When I said 'link', it might not have been a request for the URL for the article.
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
When I said 'link', it might not have been a request for the URL for the article.

Ah yes, one of the more subtle sausage jokes. Went over my head to be honest.
 
Flippin' Heck! Plans for 'Sausage of the North' sculpture NOT an April Fool and company appeals for engineers

Now bugger me sideways until August, Heck insist it is not a 1 April thing. Now the last thing Bedale needs is a huge object that could equally be a sausage or a penis. Its only a matter of time before someone will put a purple helmet on it. My mate wants to know from the engineers how to to that....Just askin

Now, in these days of political correctness, is it sensible to erect (fnarr) a 60 m pork product? Does it state the actual contents - steel with 60% non-meat products? Who in their right mind would want to go up a 60 m cock shaped tower (OK belay that I know many from arrse that would. Some would try and sit on it. Not all of them female)

Sausages and for that matter todgers, are not pretty things. Although I quite like mine, but pretty it is not. The ridicule we will get from putting this thing up will not be worth it. maybe the tourist industry might make some benefit (Look Ma, this is Mavis at the top of the Yorkshire knob!) but it is fundamentally wrong.


If the yanks can have the worlds biggest ball of string, biggest ball of rubber bands, ball of yarn and biggest statue of a boll weevil. In Sweden they have worlds biggest ball bearing, what wrong with a bloody big snorker, The yanks have the worlds biggest cnut, in the white house, ours are in parliament, a sausage is quite innocuous by comparison.
 
If the yanks can have the worlds biggest ball of string, biggest ball of rubber bands, ball of yarn and biggest statue of a boll weevil. In Sweden they have worlds biggest ball bearing, what wrong with a bloody big snorker, The yanks have the worlds biggest cnut, in the white house, ours are in parliament, a sausage is quite innocuous by comparison.
You're such a try too hard, that it's not even funny anymore.
 
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